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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Chutney Twunt pt 3

999 replies

LouP19 · 14/08/2012 16:39

Back again, is this a record? How many threads can this bastard have? You are all keeping me going this afternoon - you and friends on email and friends on text. It's keeping me angry which is good.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 17/08/2012 16:27

The difference is that you are not a user (and discarder) of other people, Lou.

NotGeoffVader · 17/08/2012 16:32

Lou, just to say I am glad the meeting with the solicitor was so useful to you. And that your comment made me laugh - I think you're wonderful to see the black humour in this. :)

Original poster
LouP19 · 17/08/2012 16:33

He is also fairly restless. I have noticed this a lot in the last year. Never seemed happy with anything.

All of these are mental points to make when and if I ever look for a new man!!

OP posts:
lotsofcheese · 17/08/2012 16:45

Hi Lou, so glad to hear you sounding strong & calm, and that your solicitors appointment went well; I think it's a wise move to wait until after your hospital appointment next week, before deciding on a legal strategy.

Hoping you've got some nice plans for the weekend

sadwidow28 · 17/08/2012 16:51

Lou, I got a promotion into a University role many years ago - and believe me it opened my eyes. My head was reeling with who was sleeping with whom. It was a den of iniquity frequented by narcissic entitled twunts who thought that 'playing away' was accepotable. I would challenge someone in a meeting and then given 'the warning' to be careful because 'she' was sleeping with x professor. Everyone knew who was having a liaison with another - but it was a 'closed world' to outsiders. The values of these narcissic people are alien to you, me, the posters on this thread.

I knew I had to get out because it wasn't a comfortable environment for me. It took me 3 years to make my next move, but my marriage was still solid and intact because I made sure it was so.

Not everyone in a University position is like that - but believe me, it attracts a lot of narcissic personalities - more than most jobs (with the exception of the medical profession).

mathanxiety · 17/08/2012 16:55

Sadwidow, I think the legal profession has its fair share...

toofattorun · 17/08/2012 16:58

...and The City is no different either...

MadBusLady · 17/08/2012 17:14

Management/strategy consultants. I had a right narco-twat of an ex who worked in that field. He used to keep his pants in the kitchen cupboards. IMPOSSIBLY weird. I have a feeling he went on to be a banker Grin.

CheeseandPickledOnion · 17/08/2012 17:14

I can't believe what a complete TWUNT this man is. You're doing brilliantly Lou.

vicks71 · 17/08/2012 17:20

Hi Lou, you are doing grand. I'm glad that you have a good/sensible solicitor on board. Sounds like you have been getting sound advice from her.

Did the Chutney Thief reply to your (remarkable restrained in the circumstances!) text? Has he in any way acknowledged his little "mission impossible" jaunt back into the house?

cakeismysaviour · 17/08/2012 17:26

Its the god complex. The ego and its constant need to be indulged.

I live by the seaside. There is an attraction here that hires a lot of temp workers every summer. They tend to be mainly students aged 16-21.

The two managers (both male, late thirties and married with kids) basically spend every summer shagging an array of mostly teenaged girls.

They both have egos the size of everest and are complete twunts, just like chutney.

Original poster
LouP19 · 17/08/2012 17:26

Oh yes he replied instantly to tell me how sorry he was and how much he loved me and wanted to be with me, but didn't feel he could under the circumstances. And how much he was hurting at leaving me.

Yes, he replied alright. I just texted back, moments before I went into the solicitor, and said something along the lines of 'it doesn't bode very well for you and the OW does it?'.

And that was that!

OP posts:
MarjorieAntrobus · 17/08/2012 17:28

Oh Lou, he hasn't a clue has he? What an idiot.

MadBusLady · 17/08/2012 17:29
Portofino · 17/08/2012 17:30

Glad it went well at the solicitors, Lou. Did you get the info on what you needed to do about keeping twuntney out of the house?

cakeismysaviour · 17/08/2012 17:32

Good response Lou!

He really is trying to paint you as the mean, unreasonable wife who wouldn't make the marriage work and who has therefore caused the marriage to end.

He is so transparent, and is fooling NOBODY.

Ruprekt · 17/08/2012 17:45

Try and find some 'Me-time' now Lou. You need it.

What are your plans for the weekend?

Original poster
LouP19 · 17/08/2012 17:47

I know, I know, it was my last text before I went into the solicitors. I've only sent him about 4 since he left, so feel I've done quite well overall.

But yes his tone was 'You'd never forgive me for what I've done. If I could turn time back I want to be doing all this with you'.

Why the hell didn't he sit me down in May and say 'I've made a dreadful, dreadful mistake' and then tell me he'd been having an affair, and there was a potential baby on the way. Why?!! Then, and only then, might we have had a smidgeon of hope salvaging anything. Even if it was just civility on his part!! Arrrggghh!

Sorry, feeling angry again. Mum coming over tonight with some more tinned ravioli (it's all I can eat) and to try and help me do a bit of cleaning. Will check in before bed.

OP posts:
garlicnuts · 17/08/2012 17:53

"I'm hurting" . "What I've done" . "If I could" . "I want" ...

Yeah, message loud and clear, Chutney. The only player in this melodrama is you.

sugarice · 17/08/2012 17:55

Sadly there's no cure for being a cunt so you're well shot of him Lou. Try to have a good evening.

MadBusLady · 17/08/2012 17:58

What a knobber. "It is torture for me, but I can't possibly not leave you, there is OW's baby to consider! Oh, you are pregnant as well... Oh. That is so inconvenient to my drama, have an abortion!" Eulch.

Allalonenow · 17/08/2012 18:32

Glad to hear your meeting went well Lou, I wonder what reaction you will get from him in response to your letter. His actions up to now have been so bizzare that it is impossible to predict isn't it?

Enjoy that ravioli and your Mum's company, and gather your strength for next week.

skyebluesapphire · 17/08/2012 18:52

Glad you are doing Ok Lou.

You really are handling all of this so well.

dondon33 · 17/08/2012 18:54

Glad to hear this solicitor sounds good Lou, a little bit of positivity :)
Can't believe what I've been reading in your posts over the last few days....what a fucking goon he is.
Don't beat yourself over the what if's hun, he chose and executed his own actions because HE wanted to. Of course he could have came to you after the first sexual contact with OW and threw himself at your feet begging for forgiveness but he CHOSE not to and carried on enjoying having his cake and eating it until he brought both of your worlds crashing down. HE IS THE KING OF ALL CUNTS
You on the other hand are a brave, fantastic, strong and wonderful woman Lou, he doesn't deserve to breathe the same air as you.or any at all for that matter
Your new bedding sounds fab I love new bedding:)Don-don gets really excited hope you enjoy a peaceful sleep in it.
Have a good weekend Lou and take care of yourself xx

balotelli · 17/08/2012 18:59

Who at MNHQ thought it would be a good idea to promote Chutney recipes?