Chutney Twunt pt 3

[LouP19]

Back again, is this a record? How many threads can this bastard have? You are all keeping me going this afternoon - you and friends on email and friends on text. It's keeping me angry which is good.

Well of course it's important to protect Lou's privacy but I do hope that someone will come back at some point and update those of us who aren't in the know about this other place as to how she's doing from time to time.

Lou I hope the soclicitor went ok, and in case I don't get to post to you again I wish you all the best for the future.

Lou all you have to do is report the thread to Mumsnet - they can move or delete and then otbt is unreachable and the threads are auto deleted after 30 days x

Wishing you well for the meeting x

NotGeoffVader, I, for one, will be very grateful for your help.....in the simplest of terms, suitable for the technically bewildered please!

Whilst its a good idea to take these precautions, its bloody sad that Lou now has these extra worries and fears, on top of everything else.

what's this about another thread? Also agree that moving to somewhere private and untraceable might be good, but not sure where you're referring to and would hate to lose track of Lou. Have pm'd Geoff.

Hello Lou
Delurking here also. I've been wanting to offer support earlier but you've received such excellent support an hand holding here, it's incredible.
I really cannot believe how low your Stbx has stooped - in all manner of ways. Utterly despicable and he should be thoroughly ashamed of himself. Except he won't. What a complete wanker of the lowest order.
Two things have occurred to me. When he started his pathetic fling with OW - you'd been ttc for 3 years? He may have stupidly believed he was infertile and thought a random shag on the side would be completely safe. How completely thick of him. Also, if I was the OW, under the belief that a divorce is in process and pregnant - I'd be demanding to see all the papers for my own personal clarification. This is possibly why he's pushing for the divorce? But then again, you'd cite adultery - and in OW's mind, she may be thinking you were separated already?! Who knows. Sadly, I was once an OW. Although I didn't know I was an OW. The slimer led me to believe he was divorced. It was only a few months in - and out for dinner on effing valentines day - when he gave me a bunch of roses and told me he loved me but he could never leave his wife, but could give me the baby I longed for. I told him to fuck off. I still occasionally see him as we work in the same field. Dirty old perve. I give him no attention at all.
Sorry. Anyway. I really hope the solicitor gives you sound, constructive advice. You are doing brilliantly and are carrying yourself in such a dignified manner. Stuff the 'petty' texts. I would have done much worse. Just be careful and take care x

Hope everything went well with the solicitor today and that you managed to feel safe in your home last night. Although he may realise that you are seeking legal advice because he saw the paper work. I think he is still arrogant enough to think he has the upper hand. You show him he shouldnt mess with you.
Hope work has been ok. I've found when my life has been one drama after another, the normality and monotony of work helped keep my mind off things.

You could also change your mumsnet name.

Would be very grateful if someone would help me to carry on giving Lou the odd bit of support, in the event that her threads have to be moved, i.e. show me the way to the other place. By PM or whatever, thanks. I'm sure that no-one who posts in support of Lou would want to encourage her to do anything that would bring more trouble into her life.

I think the Branston Burglar's latest escapade has rattled everyone bigtime. Hope the solicitor's appointment went well, Lou. x x

Just de-lurking to send my support. I really feel that although you may not think it now, you will come out of this stronger and in the far better position. Sending big hugs and wishing you all the best whatever path you take. You are one incredibly strong and brave lady, don't let that utter waste of space let you lose sight of that. You will be in my thoughts.

I'm actually not feeling too threatened by what I'm writing on here. I suppose I could stop with the detail now about texts and what he's taking? But I just don't want to lose this support, and I don't want to be difficult to find by all you wonderful people.

I don't think he has a clue about MN and the fact that I use it. He was at the house for about 20-30 minutes yesterday, I think what he did (i.e. getting his mail, probably reading mine, he took some extra stuff) would probably have filled that time.

Would welcome your advice, but I strongly doubt he or anyone he knows has found this thread. I could just cut back on the detail? And change my name?

Was the computer on Lou while he was there or did you have it switched off?

Did he know you would access the other thread when you were ttc?

Computer was off. And he didn't know I used the TTC boards, no.

Maybe change your name, use a different name to refer to him, and start a new thread.

Otherwise, if you are happy that he wouldn't think/know to look here, let it stay. You're not doing anything wrong by posting here, and you are smart enough to not give away anything you shouldn't.

what's the other suspicious thread?

Hi Lou,
I have been lurking anon on mumsnet for a while now, and recently joined up (I used to be a regular member on a rather well-known Aussie parenting site, but its so bitchy there now, and I am amazed at how helpful and caring the women on this site are in comparison) and I have been following your threads since the beginning, although I am all the way over in Australia, your story has stunned me, at the utter cold-heartedness and callousness of your ex.

I hope you got a lot of good advice from the solicitors today and have been able to take precautions with the house so chutney twunt can't get back in and invade your privacy again. Imagine if you were to do the same thing to the house HE is staying in atm!! He would be outraged, yet he thinks its fine to do this to you to add further injury to insult.

I hope you continue to get support from this thread even if it is moved to that 'other place.'
And if you ever decide to come to Oz for a holiday or visit, I would love to meet you,

I'm with you there, Lou. Not sure why your thread is thought by some to be compromising. You're writing the truth as you live it, thus keeping a diary of sorts, and getting support here. He already knows who you are, obviously, and nothing's being said that wouldn't be said in court if it gets that far. Just because he thinks he's in a lousy action movie, doesn't mean you have to go along with it!

Good for you :) How's today?

If you're happy with how the threads are going and you know he knows nothing about MN why change.Your decision.

Good. There was a thread that some of us, me included, thought was a bit chutneyish. Turns out to have been some other poor women's nightmare.

As we were...

woman's not women's.

HI Lou,

I don´t think I would cut back on the detail. But I might suggest after 2 full threads and a third well on the way that you probably have some "core" support and moving to the "other" area, is not going to damage your support from us all (counting my self there in the core - i´m big headed right)! But it will mean that you are not subjected to access by others that may in awhile be looking for information on where you support it coming from.

Then you can post with impunity!

just a thought!

Yeah, I'm ok. I think on the next thread I'll change my name,.... that might help. But I honestly think the last thing he'll be doing right now is looking for this type of stuff on the internet - he is running away from everyone and everything. So I'll cut back on the detail (but please keep reminding me), and change my name at some point.

Letter from solicitor will be a 'holding' job. Buy me some time, statement of the facts. Ask to keep financial status quo.

I got my new bedding today. It is absolutely lovely. Cotton, blue and white stripes. Expensive!

Lou, for what it's worth, I think that if the arse knew about your threads on here, he would not be able to resist showing you that he knew about them. I must admit that yesterday when all the argey-bargey was going on on here I did wonder what was going on and at one point I thought, "Shit, Portofino is in Italy I think." Paranoia gone mad. But you have wormed your way into many hearts and it's no wonder that people on here are genuinely worried for you and are protective of you. Hope the lawyer thing wasn't too much of an ordeal.

P.S. The bedding sounds fab.