Chutney Twunt pt 3

[LouP19]

Back again, is this a record? How many threads can this bastard have? You are all keeping me going this afternoon - you and friends on email and friends on text. It's keeping me angry which is good.

Funny that you mention that Lou, the day that my ex came to empty the house during my absence he also emptied the fridge, however... I had just filled it up with all my new stuff one day before, he had left 2 months before so there was nothing "his" but he still saw it fit to steal our food!

I still don't get it how he stills goes through life claiming to be the victim...

I'd mix laxatives in with jars of chutney and get them delivered to his office/address where he's staying.

I'd also tell everyone he's a loon who took everything including the food , and considering your pg he's trying to starve your baby .

I would get your solicitor to send a letter regarding the " theft " of marital property ( food, cutlery crockery ect ) .

Actually I would go one step further re: chutney. Buy a jar and empty it. Keep contents for "garnish".

Buy a pork steak.

"Marinade" it in chutney jar for a week

Part cook it

Return to jar for 24 hours.

Repot chutney.

Hand over to ex.

Lets see how much OW loves him when he has a raging case of food poisoning!

Or the less guilt version is to crush and stir in an entire packet of laxatives, cos that wont kill him sadly

He took meat. And kitchenware.

I just want to clarify that lou has asked me to do nothing.

She has merely accepted an offer that I made.

Something I offered to do as I have done it before and know what I'm doing.

I won't be tailing him alone, my DH will be with me. We won't be entering into any conversation with chutney twunt, we won't even leave the car

Lou will have the info she wants, to do what she wants with.

So stop the bun fights please.

I like you, Babylon Magnum!

Wishing you the best for your solicitor meeting tomorrow, Lou, and thinking of you.

I lit a candle with my morning prayers for you Lou, I hope this isn't offensive.

You are in my thoughts and prayers, you're such an amazingly strong woman. I and everyone else here knows you'll come out the other end of this.

ChutneyDouche will not. I promise you that, even if it doesn't seem it now. xx

Lou I second Math and Garlic. In fact, those cats he loves so much???

I would bet: that had you had a hidden camera on the day he visited his house he was entitled to broke in, you would see him kicking those cats. Or shoving them aside with his foot as he went through your post.

The most hideous thing about all of this, is not knowing the person you were sharing your life with.

Lou, everything he took is classed as marital property. He will either have to give you a fair market value for it (bearing in mind that taking cutlery that is part of a set pretty much ruins the rest of the set) or give it back.

Make a list of everything he took as far as you can remember.

How creepy for you to go around your house and find things missing.

I love your Mum. She is brill.

Taken the meat? And items of kitchenware? How unspeakably petty. My guess is that any OW would be more than a little to know she was being presented with items picked out of the marital freezer. And who the frig knows how to pick a lock anyway?

Take all your important documents/personal items out of the house. Keep them at your parents' or with you. Good luck at the solicitor's - I hope she rips him to shreds.

I can understand that you really want to know where he is living and who he is living with but it will all eventually come out in the wash, it's not necessarily helpful to know it now.

As soon as there is trouble in "paradise", as there will be when OW finally gets to realise that she is with a compulsive liar, he could likely put massive pressure on you to come back "home", you don't necessarily want that to be too soon, you need time to absorb all of this.

I know in your mind that you have been picturing OW as someone who went out to snare him, maybe she is, but in all likelihood he built a web of fantasy and chased her. You know he probably is a serial adulterer from the times you have described in the past when he went all strange on you. He is a coward, you know the script of these cheaters is to come back telling you all about how unreasonable she is when she finds out the real him, trying to make you the OW from his affair partner.

Keep strong, don't worry about him having read your letters, there's nothing there really that changes anything, he will be finding out your solicitor's name soon enough, he can see you are truthful about the pregnancy, he's probably calculated your Dad's possible contribution long ago - he is clearly tight as hell when it comes to money.

You said in one post how can you ever trust again? It will come, it will happen. Next time, the minute that someone treats you without the love and attention that they should, you will be aware of it. One incident of leaving you by the side of the road and you will finish with that man, not make excuses for him or think you should be better. Your radar will be good for meeting an honest man, one who does not want you in his shadow but who is inspired by seeing you develop the potential that all those neighbours and friends have seen in you.

Chin up Lou. Nothing useful to add but another person thinking about you.

Good god this man is seriously defective I sincerely hope your meeting with the solicitor goes well tomorrow.

Why thankyou garlicnuts

Even though the house is still in essence half of chutneys, personally knowing that he had purposely picked a lock and got into the house, been looking round my personal stuff and taking belongings that were part mine would seriously un nerve me to the point that I simply wouldn't be able to sleep. Again, personally I would definitely report thr keys as lost and get the locks changed. I would deal with the consequences as and when. I would have to feel safe in my home environment for my own peace of mind. I have been in the situation where I haven't known where DD's ?dad? lives and just knowing that had an address wld have helped me enormously, it wld have just put everything on a more even keel. Good luck with the appointment today LouP

Right, Lou is getting some fantastic support on this thread, but I do think some posters are geting slightly hysterical here. I cannot believe that someone would actually suggest, joking or not, giving the OW - the pregnant OW - food poisoning. No-one, not even Lou, knows anything about this woman, or whether she is totally innocent/horrendously guilty in all this. As for taking the meat, well Lou is a vegetarian so presumably the meat wasn't bought for her, nor would she have any use for it. Yes, it is not nice that the DH let himself into the house, but presumably he is not a mad-axe murderer or anything, and he was totally within his legal rights to do this.

It was a joke to give CHUTNEY food poisoning, not the OW Portofino.

Your posts are just goading. I won't bother responding to you now. I mean, what kind of person uses a thread like this for their own personal agenda?

Not a very good one.

I don't have an agenda, I have just queried some of the advice given on this thread as some seem to be using Lou's difficult situation as their own personal soap opera and it is getting increasingly hysterical. I don't intend to goad anyone. I just think some posters need to reign it in a bit. The reaction to my posts - which have been purely practical and urging caution - shows that some people are getting FAR too personally involved in the drama.

Good luck at the sols today Lou.

As well as keeping a list of what chunt has taken it might be worth taking a few pictures of your rooms as documentation in case he decides to keep helping himself, might help when you have to put a value on things. You might have already done this.

Thinking of you x

Morning Lou, hope you had some sleep. Just read that he took meat from the freezer and some kitchenware , glad your Mum got the cheese though! .
Hope things go well at the Solicitors and that you can get some measures in place to stop him turning up at your house unannounced and helping himself. Take care.

Adding my good wishes for today.

Please do ask (along with everything else) the solicitor about whether it is a good idea for someone to follow STBX, and who that person should be. For if you want the information to be used, you might want to be able to say if asked "hired PI", not "used volunteer from a MN thread" - unless of course you do not mind him becoming aware of this thread.

Also, do not overlook the advice given earlier in the thread about computer security, as he theoretically had access to yours.

Lou is there anyway chutney could have accessed your computer and read this thread?
I think there's too much info on here he could use if he did so.

Thank you everyone. Feel very very tired this morning.

Made some bullet points about what we want from the appointment this morning. I have also (crazy, but I know it will be the last time I can do it) sent him a text. Because I've seen even more petty stuff he has taken (noticed it at 6am when I was staring up at the ceiling, I won't go into detail,...)

I said 'You forgot to take the wedding album. You have discarded 10 years like a snake shedding its skin. You are not half the man I ever thought you were'.

And that's it. And from today I won't be able to do it, so I just WANTED to do it once this morning. Petty? Yes. But also still very very restrained given the circumstances.

Will clock in later when I'm at work (yes, after the sols I'm going to work, what a joke!!). Feel like I'm running on empty this morning.

Good luck with the solicitor today, Lou and try to ignore all the arguing on your thread. Just focus on the advice being given, irrespective in the way it's being given, and decide what works best for you.

Good luck with solicitor Lou x