Chutney Twunt pt 3

[LouP19]

Back again, is this a record? How many threads can this bastard have? You are all keeping me going this afternoon - you and friends on email and friends on text. It's keeping me angry which is good.

Can I please suggest that the thread derailers are not responded too and maybe they will disappear .....

Does he have a phone that would have allowed him to take good quality pictures of your documents, Lou? I mean the ones that were out on table about the deposit from your dad and so on. Obviously these photos would be inadmissible (not to mention illegal) but you should assume he might use them at some point - I'd make sure your solicitor knows the information has been compromised, at least.

At minimum I would keep your documents in a fire safe; yes he could take the whole box if he gets in again but this would clearly be illegal (and he still wouldn't be able to get in to read them).

I would also change the date/time of your appointment. That is a private medical matter.

Given how thorough his clean-out of his stuff was before departure, I'm amazed he didn't take the frozen meat with him then. Bloody good on your mum for taking the cheese though - take that you chutney-wanker!

Ooh yes, lots of profiteroles space- excellent!
Sleep well Lou x

And get that freezer full of Ben and Jerrys. :)

Iceland sell frozen Greggs sausage rolls too, and they are vair yummy

Oh Lou, what a shit. It sounds like you're getting lots of support and sensible advice from your parents. Definitely keep your mail somewhere safe from now on.

Can you change the scan appointment? If you explain what has happened to the clinic they might try and aqueeze you in at a different time but not one too far in the future.

Good luck at the solicitors tomorrow. It's good that you are angry and not grief stricken, it will help you focus on what you need to do to make a clean break from him.

Do you think he is genuinely becoming unhinged or is so hard up that he had to retrieve the meat from the freezer? Or do you think this was just another attempt to upset you and manipulate you into what he wants?

God, I'll bet he was pissed about the cheese. I hope the meat chokes him (and her if she eats it). I don't give a flying fuck about rights to access for him to your property, what about your right to have peace of mind when you are away from the house? Hopefully your lawyer will be able to communicate your displeasure about his actions today, and ask him to desist. Have a good session at the solicitors honey and hope you get some rest tonight. x x

Ooops forgot you are veggie. Ignore me.

Lou I can see how angry you must be feeling today, it was a huge intrusion on your privacy. But it could have been worse.

From what you have said he saw a letter about your scan (he already knows you're pregnant).

A letter showing you are seeing a solicitor, which if I understand correctly didn't have any other details. So that lets him know you're weighing up your options, nothing more.

And a letter from the BS re your dad paying towards your mortgage. He might have expected your family to help out at some point anyway

So as far as I can see nothing really to give him any new info, just a few hints that you're planning a new life without him.

You're veggie so he's done you a favour taking the meat. And the cheese... he'll be fuming that you "stole" his cheese. You couldn't have planned it any better!

He sounds like a rabbit in the headlights at the moment. You on the other hand sound strong and together.

Yes, stay angry with him but see today's "visit" as a blip, nothing else. It proves your neighbours are looking out for you.

Honestly, I think the meat was a childish little gesture. I mean, the man earns a decent wage, he can buy other meat, surely. And, since Lou saw his car at work a short time later, presumably it was all sat festering in his boot! Nice.

And what will OW say when he comes in with a bin bag of sausages & chicken that he's nicked out of his wife's home??

What a ludicrous little man.

Reminds me of when I was 8 - running away from home and sorting out MY books and toys, 'cos that'll show 'em and make 'em sorry! Pathetic.

I think men just think really differently to women.

My DH have only had a couple of massive rows. But in our younger days we had a big drunken bust up one night and he decided he was leaving me.

The two most important things he felt the need to walk out the house with that night? A 1960s lamp (heavy porcelain) given to him by a friend when he got his first flat. And a suitcase of shoes.

The image of him lugging that heavy lamp amd suitcase to a taxi still makes me chortle till this day. It's a standing joke now. "I'm going and I'm taking my lamp and shoes with me..."

couple of thoughts

papers and letters that you don't want seen if he gets into the house again, or that you want to be sure don't disappear: Preferably keep at friend or family house, pref in one on those partitioned box files so you can easily find the one you want. Some people hide them in the shed or loft, but I expect he knows his way around the house as well as you do.

Papers that you need fast and frequent access to: get a fat old briefcase and put them in the boot of the car when you go out

I would not put much faith in a document box or even a DIY safe in the house, if it is true that he is, or considers himself to be, joint owner of the house. I could certainly pick up a box or lever away a DIY safe and walk off with it under my arm. I could force it open it as well if I felt strongly enough.

A curious thing about redirected mail: If you send a Recorded Delivery letter, it gets redirected, and the Post Office notes where it was redirected to. I have not done this for years, there used to be an "advice of delivery" postcard that you could pay for at the post office when you sent the letter, and it would come back with the delivery address on it.

Ha ha Rowanhart that is hilarious!

I think on a practical note you can use what he has done against him. make a list of everything he has taken that you once shared (if you can remember have it handy so when you come to use and item that's not there it can be noted). He has obviously attributed a value to these items (he took them as he didn't want to pay to replace them and he saw them as 'his'). However in dividing the assets these could be declared as part of his finnancial settlement?

Once you are married items become joint regardless of who buys them (i think) apart from obviously personal items like clothes.

Not feeding anyone-merely pointing out that the whole point of Magnum Babylon PI was that Chutneytwunt would not recognise her?
Yes she has loads of RL mates but erm... Maybe he met them in the 10 years they were married

Goodnight lovely Lou, sleep well x

Oh yes! I had that redirection thing happen. How could I forget that!

Another lurker coming out, Lou. I have followed all three threads from the start and I am full of admiration for the way you have coped. Relatives, friends, colleagues and neighbours have cuddled round you and it seems like they are almost welcoming the chance to get closer to you whilst your DH is not around.

When I read that he had let himself in to your home whilst you were out, I found it quite sinister. It seemed like he was trying to unnerve you and perhaps make you want to get him out of your life altogether - i.e. divorce and a termination would do it.

However, the freezer incident just makes him look a bit unhinged and pathetic really - and somehow less threatening.

Stay strong - there are so many people in RL and on MN who are wishing you well.

Thinking about you Lou, and hoping you have a good appointment tomorrow.

Keep doing what youve done since this whole nightmare started. Process everything, then make your own decisions on how you want to deal with all that is being thrown at you. You havent put a foot wrong so far, and Im sure youre not about to start now. Only you know what is right.......for you.

. He took the meat from the freezer ? WTAF ?

Ow must be wondering what nutter she's landed herself with ? .

Another lurker in the night...
Lou I am in awe of how you are handling this. As for documents can you photocopy them and perhaps ask your neighbours to keep the originals or keep them at work. The more he is foiled the more he is going to scrabble.
Having said that there is the possibility that he could be dangerous if panicked.
Might be worth having someone else in the house.

Oh God Lou, my H pissed off 6 months ago (long term alkie serial shagger, no love lost here . . . ). He also stripped the freezer of several packs of lamb, mince and chicken breasts when I was at work (along with several
pictures, clocks, kitchenaid, cushions . . .)

Totally understand your shock at him coming to the house. I still have visions of H rampaging through the house looking for anything of value or that I might have liked . .

Take care. It gets better, it really does x

He is one sad fucker. OW's boat has truly come in, hasn't it?

Note everything he's taken, from the furniture to cutlery to chutney; give it to the solicitor.

Are there any other meat products left? I wonder if you could put a little note hidden inside the packaging telling ow you're pg and sending it to him in the internal mail?

(OK, maybe not.)

My mental picture of him is building up nicely again now - sitting in some living room somewhere with a strange woman looking on in wonderment - eating massive ham hocks etc with his bare hands, slapping on chutney, whilst simultaneously wondering where the fuck his cheese has got to.

Keep going Lou, he is making himself look and bigger and bigger prick by the hour.

I think I would get a jar of chutney. I would empty out the chutney and replace it with something else, like jelly. Then I would put a note into it that said 'FUCK YOU YOU CHUTNEY THIEF, THE CHUTNEY'S ALL MINE NOW'. And I would put this jar in the Chutney Cupboard (because you know there has to be one). And I would wait. And I would see if it disappeared.