Chutney Twunt pt 3

[LouP19]

Back again, is this a record? How many threads can this bastard have? You are all keeping me going this afternoon - you and friends on email and friends on text. It's keeping me angry which is good.

I don't think getting a big mate to stay is illegal, though, is it? It would be if the big mate then beat the shit out of ChutneyTwunt, but no one suggested that, and I'm sure op knows better than to allow that to happen.

Getting a dog or KillerCat is not illegal either. All those things were meant in fun, though.

I think it was established earlier in this thread, or one of the others that she can't legally change the locks.

Seeing if she can get an Order to prevent him turning up whenever he feels like it is a good idea, though. Certainly her solicitor requesting that he make arrangements to come round is another.

the internet history will show where/if he's been on the web on your PC.....but if it's cleared, and you don't normally clear it yourself, you know what's happened. If you do clear it yourself, not much you can do to follow his tracks. As for other documents on there, I suspect they are wide open.

If he knows how to install spyware, I would run a security check on the PC as well. If you're techie, you know what to do. If not, I recommend Malwarebytes (free) plus a full scan (not quick scan) from your usual anti-malware software, to start with.

If you don't have a private user account, set one up:

windows.microsoft.com/en-gb/windows7/Create-a-user-account

Just running through a few ideas, so don't panic if you don't think he'd do this.
My friend's husband put all manner of intrusive junk on her system, so it makes me very wary.

If the mate were to threaten/assualt Chutney, this would be illegal.

If the mate were simply just present in the house, this is not illegal at all!

I am sure you can get your solicitor to put something in writing about him respecting your privacy in the light of his choosing to leave the family home. My friend did this after throwing her H out even though house was in joint names.

Locking an owner out of his own house - not legal

If the address happens to be that of the OW, she could claim harassment, unlikely, but perfectly possible. As the CPS's website defines: Examples of the types of conduct often associated with stalking include: direct communication; physical following; indirect contact through friends, work colleagues, family or technology; or, other intrusions into the victim's privacy.

At no point did I say changing a password or getting a safe is illegal. What planet are you on.

If this man is as vile as described I'd exercise caution in what you do. See a solicitor, try to get an order taken out.

I agree with Frank and reported to MNHQ the PI suggestions. This is fecking ridiculous to get a stranger involved in following the dh about. His mental health has been questioned here several times. What if something happened. What if he spotted her and got aggressive? Can you not see that you should not be waving pom poms at this. This is not some kind of car crash tv.

The other option is to play the innocent. Get the locks changed and if he calls you on it explain that it had to be done after an attempted break in when someone picked the lock on the back gate .

I also said get a big mate/dog/killer cat is fucking irresponsible and not going to help any future case.

I did not say illegal, I said irresponsible - big difference. Advice is good, but make it sensible and practical, you know, stuff that can actually help and quickly.

What are your suggestions Frank?

They're up the thread Katie.

.....sorry wasn't thinking, forget the internet history, it's not going to tell you anything, unless it's cleared and you don't usually clear it.

Sorry Frank Must have missed that

Locking an owner out of his own house - not legal

He is a joint-owner who has removed all possessions. Furthermore, he has made it clear that he no longer wishes to have a relationship with Lou. He is now living elsewhere - forwarding address has been divulged.

(It actually doesn't matter that Lou thinks that the forwarding address is bogus - he provided it.)

He reliquished all access rights at that point and 'picking a lock' makes HIM the stalker. Of course, that would have to be tested in court, but there is enough case law to show that is so.

You should get these Locking Security Door Chains fitted front and back.

You can click them locked as you leave, and if you install the lock upsidedown no one knows it is anything other than a normal security chain, and if they were to unlock the door with their key the chain and not having the chain key will prevent them from getting in. Also as the chain is on the assumption is that someone is in the house.

Have a or a Frank.

I am just a faceless person to you on a message board. No need to get overly worked up.

You are massively over-reacting to the "PI Babylon" stuff, FrankWippery & others. Many of the posts you seem to be referring to are what we like to call jokes ("killer cats" FFS). It's true I'm not sure I'd bother doing it myself because I think there is an element of losing a moral high ground, but asking a mate to see what someone is up to is not the same thing as stalking. It's actually not even the same thing as hiring a PI.

I fucking hate chutney, definitely not me.

sadwidow - it is irrelevant that they no longer have a relationship, until a court order is in place he can enter the house as and when he chooses. He has not relinquished access rights and one can break a lock to get into one's own property. He went to pick up his stuff from his house, this does not make him a stalker.

This thread seems to have gone very hysterical all of a sudden and won't be doing poor Lou any good.

A mumsnetter as a PI is not ridiculous at all. All she will do is just note where he lives, something that Lou needs.

As for him entering the house, yes he is allowed, but yes it is morally crap and cuntish of him to do so

However I don't think Lou needs to fret too much about it other than getting a new, better lock and making sure her persoal mail and items are somewhere he can't get to - within the house, not at her mums as that won't be convienient.

Lou, please try to take a deep breath and continue not to react emotionally to him, and think carefully about all your actions. It's going to be ok in the end, hang on in there.

Catsmamma, they are clever!

Now come on. Frank is trying to help the OP STAY OUT OF TROUBLE by AVOIDING doing something inadvisable. Please don't turn on Frank just because she is being sensible and pouring cold water on some of the (entertaining but misconceived) suggestions. It is someone's actual life we're discussing here, not a television programme.

If Frank were ChutneyTwunt, then Frank's advice would be to do illegal things rather than trying to reign everyone in and stick to sensible, legal options.

Don't worry op, I bet Frank is Frank, and is advising you sensibly, while the rest of us hoik our bosoms in indignation and wrack our brains for means to pay the bastard back.

You know you should tell your solicitor ASAP, and ask her advice before you do anything. Or call the cops to say you feel unsafe and ask them.

I fail to see how getting a mate to stay over because you feel uncomfortable in your own house, or getting a new pet could cause any problems to a future case.

Admitedly me patrolling the place with my Protection Dog may be a little too far but I suspect the majority of people would see the comment for the joke it is instead of taking it massively seriously.

Following someone home once and writing down the address they go into would not be harrassment either. Solicitors often have partnerships with PI firms to do just this kind of thing!

like i said a few pages back, the chunt has every right to have access to his house. this is the law. and perhaps op could get a court order to stop him, but actually unless he is threatening or dangerous i don't even know whether the court would issue one. it is his house too. i speak from experience here, because it happened to me, and i really feel for the op. hope you're ok Lou x