Chutney Twunt pt 3

[LouP19]

Back again, is this a record? How many threads can this bastard have? You are all keeping me going this afternoon - you and friends on email and friends on text. It's keeping me angry which is good.

Happy hunting BabylonPI! :o

Stay strong Lou, you need this "man" like you need a third armpit.

Hi Lou

Just de-lurking for a moment to make this point. Please don't get hung up on the idea that he's off having some blissful time with the OW because I don't think that's the case for a single second.

He wanted her to have a termination, she refused. Then when he actually left you he went out of his way to try and keep you hooked by telling you he loved you and wanting the pair of you to go for counselling. These are not the actions of a man who has fallen deeply in love with someone else - they are the actions of a man who wanted a quick poke with a younger woman and found himself royally trapped.

His continually asking you why you haven't divorced him yet is probably because because he's hoping you'll say "Why would I? I love you and forgive you & I don't want a divorce".

You haven't said any of these things, or played to his tune one iota so he's probably lying awake nights thinking "What the fuck have I done?"

So, torturing yourself about their happiness, while tempting & natural, is a waste of time. She may be happy - but he sure as fuck isn't. And I'd bet a lot of money on that.

You're doing fab, btw. Really, really fab :)

Thanks you all for your wonderful comments,.... appreciate them all.
Well, the plot thickens. My neighbour rang and said he has been in the house for about half an hour at lunchtime. He picked the lock on the side gate and then got in through the back door. A colleague immediately drove me home as I was livid and shaking. He has taken him mail. However, on the coffee table were letters from the building society detailing a possible down payment on the house by my Dad, a letter about my scan, and a letter about my solicitor's appointment tomorrow.

So the fucker has been in and seen all my private mail. He's collected a bank statement. A big fat one that I've been rolling over in my mitts for the last few days. But I never opened it or read it - I wouldn't do it. And the cunt has been in the house he abandoned me in and read extremely private mail about my next moves.

I am so fucking angry. And I've come back to work and there his dirty little car is, in the car park. I'm having to apologise to everyone who's getting involved - today neighbours and my boss for driving me home, because this is SO NOT ME.

Oh Lou, I wish I could find something useful to say. Every time I hear about chunt he plumbs new depths that I thought were not possible.

I suspect you need to ring your solicitor with an update, and you may potentially be in a position to change the locks? I am hoping that more worldy-wise MN-ers than me will be out in their droves to advise you.

Here for hand-holding, shoulder-crying etc. if necessary.

Oh, Lou, He is truly vile isn't he? Am so sorry to hear he has been invading your privacy. You must be absolutely LIVID!

You will need to ask solicitor - is this acceptable? For him to abandon you, take all chutneys and then let himself in without any warning. Is he actually allowed to do this?

Surely, picking locks must be a crime FFS.

God, I really hope you get your own back on him.

I mean, WTAF?

He's unbelievable. He can't even respect your privacy, or let you know that he was going over. Fucking rude cunt.

Until he legally is no longer allowed to enter the property maybe you should take paperwork with you when you go out.

Is all your documentation accounted for?

Utter, utter arsehole .

Change the locks. Yes, I know it's probably not legal - but in the grand scheme of things it's hardly a serious offence, so do it. The worst that could happen is that he goes before a judge and gets a order for you to change them back. Not very likely, really.

So change the locks.

And tell him that you will be returning all of his mail to the sender. You won't be keeping it for him or sending it to his fictitious new address. It will all be marked "return to sender" and dropped in the nearest post box.

Arsehole. Arsehole. Arsehole.

Oh Lou, what a truly vile sneaky bastard . What are you going to do? If I could smack him hard in the face I really would, hateful excuse for a man!

Yes, it my paperwork was still there. But it was on the coffee table, open. I never even thought he would try to get in after I got the redirection letter. I've just got so much else on my plate it didn't even occur to me.

But if he was in the house for half an hour, what was he doing,......?

Check to see if anythings missing.

Oh god, that is horrible!

I'm not a legal bod, but sadly I'd be surprised if it's illegal. Having to break a window/pick a lock to get into a house that is notionally yours is not unknown. It's just morally it's totally repugnant.

Have a good long look around to see if anything's changed (gone or arrived). I hope this twat is too stupid to do anything other than bumble around reading your mail, but no harm checking.

I should think he was having a good poke around, sneaky weasel or perhaps playing with the cats...?

I would be inclined to get the solicitor to add something in the letter you intend to send him about accessing the property without your knowledge etc. It's just not fair, you're not allowed to even know where he is shacked up but he can do what he likes. Wanker. Hopefully you'll get his address soon. Then he can get a taste of his own medicine and a whole world of hell from ow.

I think you need to talk to the solicitor ASAP and get a letter drawn up stating that he may only enter the house with prior notification and that someone will be present (not necessarily you, a family member/friend is probably better) for any such visits.

can you keep your paperwork and any other private stuff at your parents for now?

complete coward not even coming while you were in!

Lou, how did he know you were at work today and not in the house?

Opening your mail is illegal, so you have that on him now for a start

What a cunt!

IIRC you were planning to bolt the front door and then leave via the backdoor in the mornings. So he must have tried unlocking the front door with his key and then when it didn't work, tried the back gate and THEN decided to pick the new lock on the back gate. That is proper nasty sneakiness. If it had been a bumbling, innocent attempt to spare you the hassle of seeing him he would have called you at that point to explain what he was doing and arrange a time instead. It must have been perfectly clear that the new lock on the gate was to keep him out!!

Eulch.

Oh god, he has no morals about anything does he? Does he think the world revolves around him or what.

Definitely get in touch with your solicitor about this. Bloody sneaky little shit.

Are the keypad things less easy to pick than a lock? My parents have those on their back gate. If asked, clearly the old lock gave insufficient security as 'someone' picked it and let themselves into the garden whilst you were out at work and you wanted to secure it properly.

He really is a total piece of shit.

FWIW, I don't think he was asking why you haven't filed for divorce yet because he wants you to but so that he can hear you say 'why would I, I love you and am pregnant.'
I wonder if he was looking for info about your pregnancy. Do you have a computer he could access?

God, I'd be fuming too. Now is definitely time to change the locks. He may have the right to enter his own home, but he has no right to look at personal correspondence of yours, even though technically he didn't open it to do so. I am worried also that he may take further liberties and remove more things from the house, which he shouldn't do until they are divided between you in the divorce settlement.

However, he now knows that you are not bluffing about the pregnancy (which is good), that you are consulting a solicitor (good for you but bad for him), and that there is a letter detailing down payment on the house by your Dad, which is still a feasibility idea at this stage. As long as no money has been actually paid already, he wouldn't be able to use that as a reason to claw more money back for himself in a divorce settlement. It doesn't mean that your Dad will go ahead with it. Be very careful about documented transfers of money. Tell the solicitor that he has broken in to the house uninvited and read your mail.

On your way home tonight, go to a hardware/stationery shop and buy a personal safe which you can screw to the floor/shelf in a cupboard, and use it to store your paperwork and valuables.
I can't believe you need to do this to keep things private in your own home

You can get 2 drawer filing cabinets too - which once loaded are too heavy to lift easily - and lockable.

Also, can you try to change your scan time? Bit concerned he could turn up to it now he knows the details?

fucking hell this man is the lowest of the fucking low!!!!!! I'd be tempted to call the police...

CUNT!!!!!!