real life challenges vs online misadventures, dating (and non-dating) thread 19

[hatesponge]

I have been to the pub. I'm not pissed but I am happy (well happier at least).

Conclusions reached this evening:

1. I am pretty bloody amazing, and any man I choose to date is very very lucky and should appreciate this fact!
2. Online dating is not for me. But I have learned from it that I shouldnt judge a book by it's cover and not to be so superficial
3. Man from the weekend DID like me, he is either still in love with his wife, or still hurt by her and lacking in confidence, there is NOTHING I did wrong, and he probably will be back at some point, but it will be too late because I will have MOVED ON :)
4. I am joining the gym and losing my remaining 3 stone.
5. I am going back to my old haunts in Essex this weekend because I have the best nights out there and feel at home. I intend to drink, dance, look fabulous and talk to anyone and everyone!

So that's my resolutions for the thread in essence, less moaning, more exercise, to have fun and be sociable to everyone, less aloof unavailable ice queen and more friendly and approachable.

Crikey

Lubey yes, it was all spelt correctly and written in full. And he did seem genuine. I've still not replied and he hasn't pestered me which I see as a good sign, he was like an over excited puppy the last time! I am thinking that I may go for coffee, if he proves not to be such a fuckmuppet as he seemed before. And I did think it was nice that he contacted me again, with an apology and a request to start again. And if nothing else it will be a bit of experience for me, he could be my practice run Shall I text him then?

Thank you so much for all that detail Chaotic, it's nice to know what to expect. I'm looking forward to it, it seems to be a lot better than the jobcentre, I get no help from them whatsoever. Every time I go to sign I am asked what I have done in an effort to find work in the last fortnight, and that's it! When I last saw my personal advisor she told me they don't really like to have to send people to Ingenus because it looks like they have failed, they much prefer people to find a job while they are with them. I replied that is they gave people the specialist help that outside agencies promise then they might have more success! You can't even load your CV onto the jobcentre website, it's so archaic. One more question that I can think of, can you claim your travel expenses? My bus fares are a small fortune!

Crikey that just made me laugh so much :o

Time, yeah I say go for it then.

Coffee and give him a good grilling about himself. Keep it pretty short just in case.

crikey sums it up for oasis, plenty of fish, ok cupid, zoosk, are you intrested, match etc etc etc.

time i think you should text back very casually, saying that you accept the apology and maybe you could fit time into your busy schedule to see him for a quick coffee, but on the understanding you dont jump into bed with random guys.

Time yes, they pay all travelling expenses. I now make sure if I need to do anything in town I do it on the day I go there so I save on bus fare

Wrt fuckmuppet's possible redemption, I'd say text him agreeing to a coffee but make it clear if he sends so much as one smutty text then you'll cut all contact.

Good plan Chaotic! Thank you for all the info, I really appreciate it. They do seem to take their time getting people onto work programmes though don't they?

Ok, I've text him. I've told him that I will accept his apology and may agree to meet him for coffee if he redeems himself, that it's on condition that he does not call me sexy, luv or hun and that he doesn't talk smutty or use text speak! Because I'm just not that kind of woman. I've told him if he can manage all that and not be put off by my demands I will consider coffee.

We will see what he comes back with!

He replied "Thank you" Can I ask you one thing, does the age difference bother you?"

Silly man, what a silly thing to say! That's the most exciting part of it!

"I've told him if he can manage all that and not be put off by my demands I will consider coffee."

You are a true goddess. .

Time you're welcome :) and brilliant text at being bothered by age difference.

Give him a chance time but a wise woman once told me...men tell you who they are!

Well, after a few normal texts he has just asked me if it's ok for him to tell me he can't stop thinking about me and that he is horny

This is too much like hard work. I'm going to tell him he is a div, and I don't date divs!

Ooh, another text "My lady, I want you" WTF! Is it me? Am I being too precious? You can tell me, I can take it.

Yes, Fate I remember that! Thank you for the reminder

Oh for gods sake Time. Ok tell him he is a div. No coffee. what a twathead.

That Oh fgs is at him btw not you!

That's the last time I advise you against my better judgement

It's warm tonight and watching men in tiny bathing suits isn't cooling it any

He sounds really immature, Time.

Time, he sounds an absolute idiot. Despite what you've told him, he can't even behave properly for half an hour! Nowhere near worthy of a coffee date with you, in my opinion.

Can I ask you all your opinion?

Been texting this guy - seems pretty normal (a biology teacher!) for about a week. No cock pics or "let me see your knockers" crap - just nice "how is your day going" type stuff.

But - every single time I mention that I'm off out or have some kind of social life, he sends me a really cold, clipped text and ignores me for the next 24 hours!

It's bizarre.

Is this a red flag?

I was just thinking exactly the same Crikey, he is 38 FGS!

I've text him exactly what I said above, about him being a div and I don't date divs. He is now sorry again and begging me to give him a chance. What a prat!

Massive red flag Crikey, my twat of an ex was exactly the same, and trust me, it gets worse! He doesn't like you going out, he is insecure and jealous.

Crikey - so you haven't even met him, yet he doesn't seem to like you going out? I haven't had any personal experience of this, but yes, it seems like a big red flag to me.

Yes Crikey that is awful. If he can't control his twattishness in the early days of talking/texting there's no hope within a relationship.

Same goes for the one texting Time.

No time it's not you. He didn't get anywhere one way, he tried a different way, got a foot in the door and reverted back to being a twit. Everything you need to know about him.