real life challenges vs online misadventures, dating (and non-dating) thread 19

[hatesponge]

I have been to the pub. I'm not pissed but I am happy (well happier at least).

Conclusions reached this evening:

1. I am pretty bloody amazing, and any man I choose to date is very very lucky and should appreciate this fact!
2. Online dating is not for me. But I have learned from it that I shouldnt judge a book by it's cover and not to be so superficial
3. Man from the weekend DID like me, he is either still in love with his wife, or still hurt by her and lacking in confidence, there is NOTHING I did wrong, and he probably will be back at some point, but it will be too late because I will have MOVED ON :)
4. I am joining the gym and losing my remaining 3 stone.
5. I am going back to my old haunts in Essex this weekend because I have the best nights out there and feel at home. I intend to drink, dance, look fabulous and talk to anyone and everyone!

So that's my resolutions for the thread in essence, less moaning, more exercise, to have fun and be sociable to everyone, less aloof unavailable ice queen and more friendly and approachable.

Sponge!!!!!!
:)
Bet you are glad you Didnt cancel now!!! Fwiw mr l has quite small hands and feet. And a massive penis..... But It's all kind of irrelevant, It's about how they treat you, how they make you feel, if you fancy them etc... The wonderful Mr depp has terribly feminine hands,and hes some kind of god.
I'm Hoping you hear from him and break the curse of the second date.

Snape, wouldn't it be ironic if you ended up dating this guy. Cant wait to hear about it.

Another lovely day with mrl yesterday... Bar when he shuffled up next to me on a bench, dd squealed with glee and giggled ' I know why you did that, It's because you want to marry mummy',
Sadly the ground Didnt open up and swallow me, so we had to laugh it off

at your DD. How did he handle it? Was the laugh the right mixture of embarrassment and humour?

Yes, we both just laughed. There was no other response really..
Bless dd, she's 6, she doesn't know :)

Morning all

Just popping in to wish Snape a jolly good date, can't wait to read the update!

Sponge Are you seeing him again?

Watch Excellent! Am pleased things are still going well for you.

Hi to everyone else

Snape you are gorgeous and intelligent and interesting and funny too you know, definitely no punching above your weight there. Get up there an join him on that pedestal you have him on I love the pretending it's a second date thing :o that's so cute and funny.

Sponge yay for some kissing and smut :o I'm glad it went better than you thought

HHOH I know the exact feeling. I remember it well. Allsorts of chemical and biological processes are responsible for those feelings, great isn't it, but also maddening! You'll be ok - no need for any declarations yet just keep enjoying each other. Does he seem to feel the same? You are likely to have a nagging voice that doubts it but you can usually tell really by how they act...

I am in panic getting ready mode... he'll be here at 6pm and aargh I have so much to doooo... so of course I'm sat here blethering instead of getting on with it. Oh well, one more coffee, then I really will make a start on everything. Honest.

Snape and Hoplessly,
They are not out of your league.

It just happens that you view them with love goggles. :o

lubey - I've been googling loads about the various biological processes on the understanding that if I can explain it away scientifically, I can lessen the effect. Doesn't seem to be working. Though it does make me feel a little less bad.

I need to sort it out though as I really can't stand the level of distraction I'm under. It's only a matter of time before I make some sort of monumental cock up at work or something.

I think when I next see him I'm going to tell him I'm developing feelings (I won't be using the love word). I shall say that while I'm not expecting any guarantees from him about what will happen in the future, I'm not prepared to continue with things unless he feels similarly. At least if we broke it off now, we would both be disappointed but capable of getting over it quite quickly, whereas the danger of continuing with one person having stronger feelings while the other doesn't is that someone could get seriously hurt. That gives him the opportunity to either admit he feels the same way, or to acknolwledge he doesn't and allow me to disentangle with my dignity intact.

He's definitely not just after sex, he has more than amply demonstrated that. In fact, to begin with I think any emotions were on his part rather than mine (which were mostly lust ), but as time has gone on I feel the balance has changed and now I'm not so sure.

AARRGGHHH. How do you all do this? And willingly!

Hopelessly- I really wouldn't do that, that's pretty much saying to him, unless hes going to love you forever, then you dont want to know. It's only been a month, It's impossible at this stage that you know you want that from him, and he probably doesn't know either.
Its new, you are just getting to know each other, and that's fine. You cant set the parameters of a relationship before It's really had time to begin.

At some point you have to take a chance, in most situations you can't go into them knowing the outcome, this is the same.

Give it a chance, it Will be what it will be.

Lubey, excited for you :)

Snape, do we need a wet fish to slap you with? You Will be fine, promise.

HHOH hello! it's sex hormones. really, that's all it is. alternatively, you know what, it's really not meant to be that torturous. I think the love-thing can strike at any age, it's not necessarily an immature teenage response. in fact it's rather lovely . so you can either embrace it, leave it for a bit and see how you really feel before you have the big discussion or do what I think you are doing which is fight/flight/fright - it seems to me that you are incredibly uneasy at having someone in your life after being single for a bit - this takes a period of adjustment, I agree with watch that it's not been long enough to adjust and think that the 'big-talk' could be self-sabotaging at this stage.

lubey wishing you a lovely, lovely evening. :-)

watch is getting mar-ried, watch is getting mar-ried! (how sweet would mini watch look as a bridesmaid... )

I have left my make up at home, becasue I'm all of a guddle. will needto nip into house of fraser and beg for use of make-up from orange faced beautician (this is not the time for a make-over from a make up counter.)

The out-of-my-league thing is a bit daft, but I am used to potatoes and losers. he is a bit fucking spectacular... accomplished, very clever, funny, absolutely gorgeous & seems to hit all of teh right buttons without being crude. it's relaly not love-goggles, it's squinting through lust-goggles though. 'it's been a while'.... love PM to death, but a woman has needs, dammit!

[wetfish]

[wobble]

Well I haven't heard from Mr Overalls. He normally texts me first thing - thus far today, nothing.

So it would appear the curse of the first date continues...

I'm not upset. I liked him, but I've liked others much more. So it's certainly not the end of the world. But a little irritating nonetheless, and leaves me wondering yet again where I go wrong!

sponge

[wetfish]

it's 12 minutes past nine! chill! and lets not get into that whole silly what-did-I-do nonsense. he's the inadequate one if he doesnt even contact you to say 'you're lovely, it's not you it's me.'

Snape,Noooooooooo. No, no weddings here. Dd is smitten though, she said she would like him to live here. Childish plans and all that. Think It's Because he talks to her like a person... Plus he brought his telescope when we went crabbing yesterday, so we could pretend to be pirates... Then spent ages with her searching for shells while I sunbathed. It just seems to be ok :) bar the sexual frustration at not being able to rip each others clothes off every second ( though that's quite fun in a way)
What time you meeting him? You will be fine, he likes you, honey trap honestly and all. It's easy to put someone on a pedalstal looks wise, but, meh, It's all relative isn't it, someone else might find him hideous. Just go, have fun, and report back :)

Sponge, just wait, It's really early. I think he will be in contact by tonight. For sure. Do not, under any circumstances text first :)
There is nothing you could have done wrong between porch shenigans and now, so, just wait. Give him a chance to chase you :)

He has been texting me every morning before 7.30. Prior to today that is.

I'm honestly not upset but I am a bit offended, so he liked me enough last night for all that went on, but not enough to even send a polite thanks but no thanks text today? . I'm certainly not texting him though.

Thanks :o just after i posted that, my internet died, which may have been my saviour. Got my sheets in the wash, dishwasher loaded and on, swept up the cat biscuuits my three always manage to get everywhere, hoovered up an entire cats worth of fluff from... everywhere and now i have yet another coffee. Getting there!

HHOH - I wouldn't have that chat just yet- honestly. Just chill, it doesn't matter. It's only been a month and you both still have a lot to learn about each other. I remember feeling like that about blokeychap but I just left it. It was about 2.5 months before we talked about 'us' and feelings etc.

I felt comfortable to leave it because he was making it pretty clear how he felt anyway, very loving and affectionate and always in contact, always really excited about seeing me - even though he is a very reserved, shy and quiet type I could tell he was just as giddy and daft as me.

Sponge - this is the one you had the date with last night? Hmmm well that is strange. I do hope it isn't first date curse.

snape - hope your date goes well, am sure you will be gorgeous!

however, I have come up with a plan B (or is it C or D?) for PM - play him this (click on the player on the bottom left) song

watch at your dd.

Well after arranging the date with fe sexy builder I had dreams about sex and him having a tiny penis!! Thanks to the info on penis shrinkage!! Luckily he is very fit and works out so I hope that's not a problem

Maybe he thought 7:30 was too early, Because you did see him just last night?

Maybe he doesn't want to seem overkeen as you were on a date with him just last night.

Don't worry yet, i still think you Will hear from him by this evening, just hold tight..

Lubey, yep, we haveht really done feelings, bar endless compliments, and then, when on the tube he was looking at me funny, and I was like ' what' and he was all ' nothing' and we repeated that a bit... Few days later he said he was just looking at me and thinking that he could really massively fall for me :)

Hhoh, you just have to give it a chance to be whatever its going to be.

yogagirl oh that song is going to make me weepy!

well he's just text me. To say 'have a good day'

Not much of a text is it? Or am I being too fussy?!

I go to bed early and I miss everything

moving he better had be hot and sexy because those messages are making me feel murderous.

This is the drawback with online dating. If I got a message like that in an inbox I'd delete it without a reply.

sponge glad you had a great time.

snape you are not punching above your weight. You're a beautiful woman and he's lucky to have a date with you...love the second date thingy

lubey have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do

Yogagirl sorry to hear things didn't go as you wanted them to

' He better had be hot and sexy because those messages are making me feel murderous.'

sponge have you replied? ok, not much of a text, but still a text!

Sponge, It's a text!!!!!!!!!!!
Hes made contact. This is good :)
He probably doesn't want to look over keen in case you Didnt want to see him again.
Reply back somethibg like ' thanks, you too :) and thanks for last night, it was really fun, I enjoyed it',

You are then giving him a green light to ask you out again :)

Mr Staines has a new pic up on his OKC.

RRrrrrrr!

Hes teasing you pre date....!!!!