real life challenges vs online misadventures, dating (and non-dating) thread 19

[hatesponge]

I have been to the pub. I'm not pissed but I am happy (well happier at least).

Conclusions reached this evening:

1. I am pretty bloody amazing, and any man I choose to date is very very lucky and should appreciate this fact!
2. Online dating is not for me. But I have learned from it that I shouldnt judge a book by it's cover and not to be so superficial
3. Man from the weekend DID like me, he is either still in love with his wife, or still hurt by her and lacking in confidence, there is NOTHING I did wrong, and he probably will be back at some point, but it will be too late because I will have MOVED ON :)
4. I am joining the gym and losing my remaining 3 stone.
5. I am going back to my old haunts in Essex this weekend because I have the best nights out there and feel at home. I intend to drink, dance, look fabulous and talk to anyone and everyone!

So that's my resolutions for the thread in essence, less moaning, more exercise, to have fun and be sociable to everyone, less aloof unavailable ice queen and more friendly and approachable.

snape ooh a date. You never know you might like each other and fall in love.

lubey so glad you sorted things. Enjoy.

stubborn as a rule never turn down a second date, just to get a second opinion.

AprilFalls - thank you for delurking to tell me that but why are you lurking when you could join us in our crazy thread?? We are all friendly

snape - I'm persoanlly hoping it goes well with mr staines as PM has taken too long and I loose interest quickly

watch - I know what you mean about family days out alone, it would be lovely to have someone else with me and dd, i really miss that. I recently started spending some time with dd and her dad and realised that could be the reason I used to keep going back to him. Because I couldn't see us ever being able to do that with anyone else other then him. But now I know that I dont want him but do want what your describing. Sounds lovely

so I messaged the neighbour back yesterday and no reply as yet.

do you think this messge sounds polite or like he's interested? :

Haha aww babe I've only just seen your text, u ok? Oh don't worry about it there just kids haha wat u been upto xx

The text speak never used to bother me, but after being on POF it does now bother me more. But most guys on there wouldn't even call me babe it would be bbe which really annoys me.

oh and btw ive had lots of grasshoppers in my house last night and i'm lossing the plot over all the bugs. Anyone else had this problem? And any idea how to get rid of them all?

stubborn, as a rule never turn down a second date, just to get a second opinion.

Unless they turn out to be prats, or don't keep good enough contact, or you meet someone else. :o

Moving, I like my men to be able to write proper messages, unless they are in a hurry, which should not have been the case, but I'm 40. :o

What did you reply? I might have said something about having (almost) forgotten about initial message.
As he included an open question, I think it shows at least some interest. I'd start from there and mention anything you have done that shows what you like.
Have you sent a friend request?
If he doesn't go to facebook a lot, perhaps move to proper e-mail, or give him your phone number?
Although, if he is interested, he will go to fb more often.

Also, I'm meeting Mr Kippling again later today after a week apart.
Holidays can be a pain. :)

moving I would say it shows dome interest. Just see what happens.

Bbe does really annoy me to, quite like being babe or baby but write it properly, its only an extra letter. Or better still baby girl still makes me go weak, not that I ever tell any men that. Uh oh no. Cos then they would know how to get me every time. Unfortunately one male friend from school does know, but I have only seen him twice in the last 8 years so no biggie, but still he calls me baby girl.

Moving I'd send him your number if you haven't already (assuming you'd be comfortable with doing so of course) sounds like he may not go on FB much. I'd say msg was a sign he was interested, I suspect he wouldn't have asked a question if he was just being polite :)

I am not a fan of babe but it's better than hun.

I have a date tomorrow. I am however resigned to the outcome being either

a) it will get cancelled
b) I won't fancy him
c) I will like him, but there'll never be a second date.

but it's something to do on a Tues evening when I should be decorating

I love mr Kipling! Leuji

'Baby-girl' would make me spew. Mr Staines ( I need to think of something better!) called me 'hon' the other day and I reasoned that at least it was spelt right...and it it's context, it sounded a bit camp rather than netmummy.

Sponge, maybe you should tell him you only had the profile to attract this man you are secretly in love with.
It seems to work...

And Snape, he did make an exceedingly nice cake the other weekend. Cake making men can't be all that bad, can they?

Plus, he passed another "test". Last week I had a problem with my phone and didn't have a working internet connection. So, I was out of touch for the normal bed and waking up times and until the next day late afternoon.
He didn't go into stalker mode. Just sent one message mid morning asking if all was ok, and when I got in touch he said he assumed I had run out of battery or that there had been a problem with my parents or DS.

In my message I said that it was easier when people could only communicate through letters. And he made a reference about love letters. Ahhhh.

I have a bit of a soft spot for your Mr kipling. he sounds really lovely from your description. :)

sent this link to PM yesterday an interesting read!

I cant cope with OKC. I've had 34 different blokes message me since thursday. I'm going to have to out-source.

Snape I am vicariously really enjoying your OKC honeytrap profile success, it's great fun to read, I'll be your dating PA if you like and send polite refusals to the potatoes unsuitable ones

I might have just accidentally ordered a new dress and a set of satin undies. Oops.

I suppose it might come in useful for the four day love in. What a coincidence eh?

I also seem to have ordered a fuckload of booze bottle of wine or two.

I plan on making it very plain to him that while I am delighted we can keep shagging we are still together, and that he is staying put, I really only want the fun bits like sex and dinner and sex and cocktails and sex and sex and conversation and sex, with some added sex constantly sometimes. And that I can love him very much while pointedly NOT wanting to run off into the sunset and have babies, and requiring lots of space and sex

What that article seems to miss (I only skim read it) is that it doesn't matter how many messages you get if they all contain 'Hey hun hows you?' or 'Like 2 talk babe'.

'Good morning babes hope your ok, and ypu enjoyed your day yesterday sweetness. Just sorting my self out and of you like we can chat babes'

well exactly, I'm certainly not saying that all of my 34 messagaes have been witty and engaging!

Chaoticwhat I think you're getting at there is covered in the bit about 'signal to noise ratio'

There is definitely something to be said in terms of quality over quantity where messages are concerned :)

I am tempted to cancel tomorrow's date. He has sent me a photo of himself in which he looks distinctly middle aged and not terribly attractive. I therefore predict I will not fancy him in the slightest however I suspect he will love me and I will spend the evening fending him off.

Any ideas for how I can make a swift exit tomorrow if it's really bad?

mercury it probably was, I didn't read indepth.

sponge, do you want one of us to ring you at an opportune moment? I'd still go at the moment, one bad photo does not a bad date make. Alternatively take one look at him and throw up on his shoes. I think that should get your message across

THIS is the kind of message I respond to...

'So I'm not too sure that we'd be a good match romantically, but I felt compelled to write because your profile made me actually laugh-out-loud (and that's not just an "LOL", which seems to equate to just a mild snort or a curled lip- there seems to be inflation at work in the real vs online amusement exchange rate). I think that you could well be devastatingly funny and interesting in real life, and that's a rare thing for me on here. Get back to me if you're inclined to help test my hypothesis, otherwise thank you, and good luck :)'

I am a sucker for flattery on the basis of my personality.

sponge one of us could phone you in tears saying our dc, mum, dad anyone was ill or husband had an affair?
I think baby girl gets me cos the one from my past I can't forget always called me it, and still now touching my tummy on the left side, just above the hip,
still sends shivers down my spine, very lightly though.

Interesting read, Snape, but how do they actually know what type of messages ARE successful in real life?

All they got was a statistic of the types of messages good looking women receive.

They should have tested the types of (fake) messages on real good looking women.

Oh, and if you wear glasses, don't show them on the photo if you want lots of messages.
It would have been interesting to compare the types of messages received by the girl in glasses against the most popular two.

Snape I would be bowled over by that message! I am bored with men telling me how sexy and attractive I am which just makes me feel a bit ick most of the time especially when they are none too attractive themselves. I'd like someone to want me for my mind just once :)

I will go tomorrow I think, it might be ok . I have lied and said I was out tonight, so I think I might make out tomorrow that I'm just shattered and can't stay out too late. Or something like that :)

that message reads like a cut and paste job to me snape

...I mean it seems too contrived o have been written on the spur of the moment in response to a specific profile, but the writer sounds intelligent (if a bit pretentious) and it's way better than txt spk/hi bbe

'So I'm not too sure that we'd be a good match romantically, but I felt compelled to write because your profile made me actually laugh-out-loud (and that's not just an "LOL", which seems to equate to just a mild snort or a curled lip- there seems to be inflation at work in the real vs online amusement exchange rate). I think that you could well be devastatingly funny and interesting in real life, and that's a rare thing for me on here. Get back to me if you're inclined to help test my hypothesis, otherwise thank you, and good luck

Appropriate use of capital letters. Check.
Correct usage of the hyphen. Check.
No spelling mistakes. Check.
Interesting message content. Check.
Correct spelling and usage of the word "hypothesis". Check.
Flattering without being bleurgh. Check.
Polite. Check.
No attached picture of a penis. Check.

I want this man. Please tell me he's not a potato.

mercury7! cruel dasher of dreams! If it is a cut and paste job, its a clever cut and paste job, he's obviously gone for triggers that get me rather than a generic, 'alright sexybabes?' maybe he has a selection and uses them for different types of profile... I must ask! :-)

Oh, go on Sponge. Go somewhere nice that you know you will enjoy and if the company is not a match at least you get 50% enjoyment out of it.
Choose a place where the toilets are near the door, or at least a service exit.

Better still, show up earlier and eye up the males in the room, as well as during the date.
Real life challenge, remember? :o

And that IS a good message, Snape. :)
Although, it could easily be copy-paste. I'd be happier if something specific from the profile was mentioned.

Lubey, :o

I have also been finding myself wanting to wear sexy stuff.
Which I stopped wanting with ex. In fact, the ultimate "revenge" would be wearing this little ensemble he gave me as a present towards the end of the marriage and that I have never worn.
But I won't because it will remind me of him. Instead, I might put it on Freecycle. Or donate to the nearest brothel.
Anyone for never used sex games dice?
But I digress.