real life challenges vs online misadventures, dating (and non-dating) thread 19

[hatesponge]

I have been to the pub. I'm not pissed but I am happy (well happier at least).

Conclusions reached this evening:

1. I am pretty bloody amazing, and any man I choose to date is very very lucky and should appreciate this fact!
2. Online dating is not for me. But I have learned from it that I shouldnt judge a book by it's cover and not to be so superficial
3. Man from the weekend DID like me, he is either still in love with his wife, or still hurt by her and lacking in confidence, there is NOTHING I did wrong, and he probably will be back at some point, but it will be too late because I will have MOVED ON :)
4. I am joining the gym and losing my remaining 3 stone.
5. I am going back to my old haunts in Essex this weekend because I have the best nights out there and feel at home. I intend to drink, dance, look fabulous and talk to anyone and everyone!

So that's my resolutions for the thread in essence, less moaning, more exercise, to have fun and be sociable to everyone, less aloof unavailable ice queen and more friendly and approachable.

:-). Brief recap.

Yes, I'm giving it until the end of September. It's a military style campaign involving a new sparkly OKC profile and ramping up the flirting. As far as he knows I am off of OKC, the thumbnail pic doesn't look much like me, so he might manage to actually click on it and with a fresh pair of eyes see hoe glorious I am.

And if he is actually as stupid as we all suspect is able to resist my charms, I'm having a great time on OKC, 156 visitors, 24 messages. Best conversation is with extremely attractive man from Staines who sent me the wittiest message I'd ever received on a dating site, so I replied with the truth, that this is a honey trap profile and we've been thick as thieves ever since. :-)

snape you never know who you might find. Today I am not feeling so great. Quite tearful actually. Trying to hold it together. On way to my mums. I feel like a elongated disaster. Maybe the ex was right everyone would be better off with out me. Sorry self indulgent.

Please ignore. As you were.

Courtesy of AIBU

one

two

Oops, meant to add, the profile seems to have originated here...#4

So not only do we have to contend with idiots and potatoes but trolls as well

snape - I remember you saying before you had a drunken conversation with pm before but have ever just tried to kiss him/ get naked?? Lol

Come on ladies what do you think of the message the next door neighbour sent back after all this time? How long should I wait to message him back?

mlm your ex was a bully and nothing he ever said was right! Your lil boy wouldn't be better off without his mum!!! No way!! I know some days are crap! What's happening with the course you want to do? Is it starting soon?

Anyone who says that the 'world would be better off' without someone is a nasty piece of work who does deserve your time or consideration MLM single parenting successfully is the worlds hardest job with the least amount of appreciation or respect. It absolutely takes giant brass balls to stick at it, everyone has an occasional wobble and then we stick our chins heavenwards and get on with it, because we have to. Your DS is lucky that he has you as a mum, don't ever do yourself down like that sweetie, because there are plenty of other nasty snipey people, stunningly aware of their own inadequacies who will do it for you.

Moving123. Sorry. I'd wait a day or so and then reply with something along the lines of, 'hey, good to hear from you, I've been a bit busy with [insert x] & [y] but looking forwards to a bit more spare time in this lovely weather. How are you?'. Breezy, gives him an opportunity to think, ooh! Spare time, let's do something I would strongly sits urge to correct spelling/grammar but I'm horribly pedantic about these things'

Snape, you might well end up with said guy in Staines.

Sometimes we find what we are need when we are not looking for it. :o

MLM, guess who is a waste and an idiot too?
Force yourself to smile and you will feel better. And disregard anything your ex has ever said.

;-). Can't call him mr.staines though. Just doesn't sound yummy. ;-)

Im so glad other people get low levels of messages on okc. i have had two. one asked why i was loitering twice.
On pof ive got a list of blockers. all of them cock shots. it looks comical when you look at them in a long line!

'On pof ive got a list of blockers. all of them cock shots. it looks comical when you look at them in a long line!'

I block all those with cock shots, when I look at my blocked list on the dating site I use I feel queasy.

I try NOT to look at it but every time I block someone it takes me to that page, I try and sort of shield my eyes whilst getting rid of the page asap

MLM I missed your post earlier, if anyone is a waste of oxygen it's your ex. Your little one is lucky to have you.

at Mr Staines

When I was on OKCupid I got quite a few messages at first but then they tailed off a bit. If I took a break and either hid my profile, or just didn't sign it for a while, I found when I returned that I'd get more messages.

delurking to share something with Movingforwards....

if you're not friends with someone on fb and they send you a message, on my fb it goes into an 'other' folder. I never even knew it existed till about a month ago, I had 40 messages in there!

So he may not have seen it straight away...

hi all.

Snape - im loving the plan. AND the pics.

Lubey - so, what did this fab message say - whats happening?

Just popping by, had a fab weekend with DD and Mrl. Went to the seaside, all picnics, piers and buying mrl up to his neck in sand. It was really lovely, we were all bloody knackered. And im now in reflection at how i just never thought anything like this was going to happen. I couldnt see ANY point where it wouldnt just be me and DD on days out ( unless family or friends were coming, you know). It was SO nice.
So, those that have been at this long term, and please dont think im being smug, im not. I just want you to know that it can and does happen.From nowhere.

watch! So SO pleased for you! This is lovely. :)

It really is.
I feel very lucky.
We are all having a day out, his treat Tuesday ( his idea and he has taken the day off)
And he's coming camping bank hol weekend. To the big, family camp. As in, mother and step dad, brother and his gf, sister and her bf. And for the first time ever, I won't be on my own.
Which is amazing. And then lovely bevsgse I will be with him attempting uber quiet tent sex

Honestly, never thought it would happen.

watch brilliant news :)

watch so glad you are so happy. You deserve it.

Thank you girls for making me feel better. He got under my skin. A few tears and you girls have made me feel much better. I wouldn't always say I was successful at parenting but I made what I could of a bad situation.

I suppose we all wobble occasionally. If I feel it coming more than rarely I will start taking my anti depressants again, but for now I am okay.

moving that is a point on Facebook people don't always notice messages unless they look. I know I don't. The message I got was debt on august 8th (my friend/brother who passed away's birthday, and he would know that. C**t.) Leave it a while and respond. Maybe with your number or send a friend request?

movingforward - what snape said (that is if you're not put off by the use of the word babe, but maybe that's just me!)

I've given up on POF - I did get talking to two guys who could actually construct whole sentences. One who was quite cute, works in IT, divorced, no kids but totally rubbish taste in music. And another who looked kind of hard & scary (big guy, bald, lots of pictures with motorbikes and up mountains) but is a youth worker and actually sounded seriously interesting. But in the end I really couldn't be bothered with either one. Probably because I'm still a little hung up on my guy from GS who I'm actually seeing again tomorrow.

Ooh yes - moving send him a friend request!

That's lovely news watch :)

I had no idea there was an other messages part on FB - have just discovered it now . Most recent one in there was nearly a year old though :)

Had great holiday and then DC went to XH last night and Mr Nice came here. Have the house all to myself tonight - not sure what to do with myself . Quite nice having some time on my own actually although am going away for a few days at the end of the month on my own which will be good (booked it nearly 6 months ago when I felt I needed something to look forward to. Little did I know what would happen in April...)

Well, it was just so sweet. I am still floored. Here's a bit of it

"Thank you so much for that. You can tell that it comes from the heart, and is just, well very much you.

I am going to read it again and again, thank you so much.

I feel to have turned a corner now, and feel the need to be face to face with you more than ever..."

Another bit of it

"My question to you really is what are we doing? Where do we go from here, what are you expecting?
If i understand my thoughts correctly, the 'thing' that was winding me up so much was the end game, and the effect that would have on you.."

That was in reply to my mail laying all my thoughts bare, the one I was stressing about. How sweet is it that he loved it? And so finally we manage to get to the bottom of it. I think we have found our communication forte in email.

So anyway he has decided to turn down the possible move and maybe try another time in future. It was causing him too much stress in many areas, not just with me, and he was cracking up a bit. So that worry is gone for now and we are just going to carry on enjoying ourselves

thank fuck for that

Ha! Just discovered the "other messages" on FB as well and had one from a few days ago I never would have noticed! THis thread is educational in all sorts of ways!