real life challenges vs online misadventures, dating (and non-dating) thread 19

[hatesponge]

I have been to the pub. I'm not pissed but I am happy (well happier at least).

Conclusions reached this evening:

1. I am pretty bloody amazing, and any man I choose to date is very very lucky and should appreciate this fact!
2. Online dating is not for me. But I have learned from it that I shouldnt judge a book by it's cover and not to be so superficial
3. Man from the weekend DID like me, he is either still in love with his wife, or still hurt by her and lacking in confidence, there is NOTHING I did wrong, and he probably will be back at some point, but it will be too late because I will have MOVED ON :)
4. I am joining the gym and losing my remaining 3 stone.
5. I am going back to my old haunts in Essex this weekend because I have the best nights out there and feel at home. I intend to drink, dance, look fabulous and talk to anyone and everyone!

So that's my resolutions for the thread in essence, less moaning, more exercise, to have fun and be sociable to everyone, less aloof unavailable ice queen and more friendly and approachable.

@POF.

I don't need it that bad.

Just remembered, was cycling alongside PM yesterday at the gym (we do circuits, It gets quite breathless) & he remarked that we sounded like a porno.

. Just as well there's a freezing cold plunge pool.

mrs Grey. Bet he does remember! If not this morning, it will all come flooding back at some point. beer-associated memory loss always pops back when it needs to. :)

MLM, I'm sure all of your boys would be proud of their mummy. What you want sounds lovely.

Snape, are you sure he isn't waiting for you to make a move? That his suggestion for you to sign up to cupid was to get a reaction out of you? Are you really sure he isn't interested, because it doesn't sound that way to me, especially him sat with his feet on your lap and you stroking his legs, that's quite intimate, and he didn't object.

Oh FFS.

I didn't know whether to post this here or on my original thread but I like the vibes here and there seems to be a lot of sound advice going round. So the guy I met online at the beginning of the summer, really really liked and have been trying to get over, texted tonight to say he wants to see me and I should jump in the car and get over there! I know he is a)drunk and b)horny and I told him I am not impressed and that he is messing with my head. Also told him in no uncertain terms I am not coming over. He's phoned twice to say he's sorry, he really likes me and he just really misses me and wishes I lived closer. And then followed his apologies with yet more texts telling me to 'get over there'.

WTF is wrong with men?

He's a selfish using wanker who wants sex and thinks if he apologises that you'll be falling all over youself to go over there and service him.

The ironic thing is that if he hadn't made such a big deal about a serious relationship not being able to work, I probably would have been quite happy to carry on having sex with him. "Wanker" is certainly what he'll have to be tonight if he's that horny.

Will wait and see what he has to say for himself in the morning when he's sober. I've stopped answer his texts for tonight.

He's not a 38 year old accountant by any chance is he Yogagirl?

LOL Time - no he's not!

It's disgusting how some men think they can just use us for sex. They must really believe they are something wonderful

Some men are just arrogant, entitled idiots

If their egos were material things they wouldn't fit into Buckingham Palace.

There just seems to be a lot of them about Chaotic.

Just caught up on latest developments...

Time I can't believe Candle Man, I got so excited when I read he'd sent a proper apology, might've known he would then overplay his hand. But at least you can say you gave him 2 chances both of which he utterly fucked up of course

So I am back from Essex. I shopped lots, drank even more (my poor head was aching this morning!) and have spent today enjoying the sunshine. All in all a lovely weekend.

Not much to report on the man front, although one did chase me down the road asking me for a hug! He was sadly only about 22, so I made my escape rather quickly, but not before I heard him saying to his mates 'did you not see her, she's just wow, how could I not want to hug her!'

Awww, sponge that's lovely :)

Nice to know there are some nice men out there even if they are too young

Hi Sponge Yes, Candleman turned out to be a prize Fuckmuppet, twice over! His loss

I'm pleased you had a good weekend. I think I would have hugged the 22 year old. You've got to get it while you can

My friend said I should have been happy I can still pull 20-somethings! It did definitely put a smile on my face (and made up for other friend telling me I needed to try harder on dating sites cos 'everyone meets someone eventually' )

How the heck can you try harder on dating sites? You will only meet the man for you if he is on the site at the same time as you. You don't want to be lowering your standards and going after anything that's on offer, you aren't that desperate for a man!

I was over the moon that I had pulled a 38 year old!

Younger men aren't all that considering I am 24 so you boys are well ridiculously young. Lol. So nope own age group only for me. I think the rule is oldest child plus ten years or something,

Sponge, you must be especially appealing to the younger guy, no bad thing :o

'eventually'
yeah right...
'eventually' even hell will freeze over :o

I was very much at try harder comment.

Said friend means well but is definitely from the any man is better than no man school of thought. And her experience of dating sites is v different to mine, she has used them for about 12 years, and in all that time only one man never asked to see her again (she was literally about that & couldn't fathom it. However this is in the main due to the men she attracts who are ones I would delete immediately and with very good reason.

Anyway, am back in Essex next weekend it would seem as Ex is taking the boys on hols this Friday. Already a bit sad at a week without my babies, am not used to coming home to an empty house!

time. I'm going to sleep on that. Hmmm..

Did you sleep on it Snape?

I think you should write a list of everything you and PM do together, then analyse it, have a really good look at it and ask yourself what it tells you. Because from everything you post on here I am getting the picture of a lovely relationship, the only thing missing is the sex. Maybe PM is thinking and feeling exactly the same way you are. Scared! And I think I would be scared too, I would be scared that if I entered into a full on relationship things would change, because as they are, they are pretty lovely. I suppose the bottom line is that you need to stop being scared and you need to talk, take the bull by the horns and talk. What have you got to lose? You two have a very special bond, talking won't spoil that, trust me.

yeah, I've slept on it and I now feel really miserable. :( I agree that we do have a 'special bond' and i dont think that would be terribly affected by me declaring undying love it's just that it's pretty obviously on a plate and he cant actually be THAT dense to not know - Although he is a feminist he's also a bit of a romantic traditionalist and would probably be unevolved enough to want to make the first move - or at least think he's making the first move. that said he's also a pussy. fargh!

need to think about it some more. at work (sssh!) and a bit busy. I'll prevaricate a bit more over lunch

snape sometimes the more time you spend with someone, and the more you care about them the harder it becomes to admit to them that you do love them. Sometimes you don't realise until you have fallen. I know deep down I still love my childhood sweetheart. Yet know it wouldn't work, I guess I always will. I have done since I was 8years old. You get scared of losing that connection. I could never admit it to him and yet I measure other people against him. I think there is always that one person you want and you only get one chance so take it, grab it while its there because otherwise you may always look back and regret it. And as a footnote it needs to be done sober cos I don't take anything seriously when said whilst drunk.

massive wobble approaching. massive. (thank you MLM)

If you have a massive wobble we will have to do some massive hand holding / arse kicking in the nicest possible way cos someone needs to and you guys do it to me