real life challenges vs online misadventures, dating (and non-dating) thread 19

[hatesponge]

I have been to the pub. I'm not pissed but I am happy (well happier at least).

Conclusions reached this evening:

1. I am pretty bloody amazing, and any man I choose to date is very very lucky and should appreciate this fact!
2. Online dating is not for me. But I have learned from it that I shouldnt judge a book by it's cover and not to be so superficial
3. Man from the weekend DID like me, he is either still in love with his wife, or still hurt by her and lacking in confidence, there is NOTHING I did wrong, and he probably will be back at some point, but it will be too late because I will have MOVED ON :)
4. I am joining the gym and losing my remaining 3 stone.
5. I am going back to my old haunts in Essex this weekend because I have the best nights out there and feel at home. I intend to drink, dance, look fabulous and talk to anyone and everyone!

So that's my resolutions for the thread in essence, less moaning, more exercise, to have fun and be sociable to everyone, less aloof unavailable ice queen and more friendly and approachable.

Don't know about thicko but arrogant, disrespectful and entitled definitely apply to him, devious too, the way he apologised and then started back up again when you relented.

Pfff...you're not being too picky.

If someone writes "lol" at the end of their message, mentions 50 Shades of Grey, calls me Babez or Huni or says "hows you?" I delete & ignore. As well as all the cock picks, badly written porn & appalling spelling!

No wonder I'm struggling

It's not too picky! I'd rather go without than have someone I had no kind of intellectual/emotional connection with.

This ^

Honestly, there are sooo many of them out there, why waste your time with the idiots?

devious too, the way he apologised and then started back up again when you relented.

I think you are flattering with the devious charge, it usually involves some cunning & guille, a certain amount of sophistication..:o

Nope, no text, he has gone very quiet. Probably thinking up his next line of attack, in an attempt to reel me back in!

You summed him up nicely there I think Chaotic, he really is all of those things isn't he?

Glad you don't think I'm being too picky. I do have very high standards when it comes to what I want in a man and I do wonder sometimes if I should lower them, but if I did I know I wouldn't be completely happy. I want someone who is respectful, who can read, write and spell and is grammatically correct, intelligent, likes good conversation, likes down time, just as I do, is kind and considerate. Those are some of my main 'wants'. I wouldn't object to someone who is tall and slim with nice teeth but those are more superficial requirements that I would be willing to compromise on if he had all the other qualities. A nice big willy would be nice too but it's not essential.

I don't think I'm asking for too much?

But where are they Cherubim? All the men I come across seem to be idiots, I haven't met one single man in years that I could have a good conversation with. Where do we find these men?

And I need to add emotional connection to my list of 'wants'.

So going back to Mr Candle, do we still think the way he stalked followed me for 20 minutes then approached me in the pound shop is romantic? Or does that fit more with him being a sexual predator??

he sounds too dim to be any kind of successful predator.

I agree most men are pond life :o

No, no Time - of course that's not asking too much. If anything, I would say those qualities are the very least I would expect. It's not like you're demanding he has a yacht and a villa in the South of France.

These guys ARE out there - I'm convinced of that. It's just finding them, that's the problem.

And, don't forget, that a guy like that is probably sitting at home wondering why he has to put up with a load of ditzy, bubble brains who can't spell when all he really wants is some one like YOU.

I know that sounds all a bit American movie of the week - but it is true. So, don't despair.

I loved the way he pursued you, I thought it was romantic and I thought he deserved a date for effort.

But this... adolescent bullshit is just ridiculous. Far from being a sexual predator, I think he's showing you absolutely no respect - you've told him twice now that you don't appreciate the sex stuff, and he doesn't care, he just wants a wank. Bet he can't believe his luck. I'd tell him to do one.

Stop doubting yourself time, your radar is bang on. For him to be a predator you would have to be a victim and you are far from that. He chanced his arm.

I'd rather be single than settle.

I want someone who respects me, makes me laugh, whom I have sexual attraction/chemistry with, a partnership of equals. Intelligence is important, so long as they don't write in text speak, use hun etc I can overlook the occasional spelling/grammatical error so long as I get to correct them as I'm not perfect myself.

That's it for now, although I reserve the right to add to that list

Oh - you've actually met him? Sorry. Will go and read the thread properly.

I would say romantic, if he hadn't followed it up with such nonsense.

Thank god I'm getting it right!

I do sometimes wonder if I'm being a little too over cautious because of my past, or too fussy, because the number of men I have deleted or blocked is huge! I've not come across one yet who ticks all the boxes, not even close.

Cherubim I told him more than twice. I had to spell it out to him the other day but he still doesn't get it. Maybe he is better with numbers than words.

Another one who has seen a light. I have not had a bf for years and used to become upset about that. Now, however, I realise how egotistical and selfish most men are and how exhausted I am by 25 years of motherhood.

I am financially secure, DS and DD1 have flown and DD2 is about to do so. When she has gone I will feel truly free for the first time in 25 years and I do not intend to shackle myself (however loosely) to an individual who will be nice and kind for a while in the hope of getting sex. Who will want his music on in the car, who won't wash, cook or garden because he's tired

I love my children but in my single parenthood they have worn me down and out. I can start living again and I do not need a man to help me do it.

I'm adding 'makes me laugh' to my list now Chaotic, I forgot about that one. Shall we give cosmic ordering another try?

Yes Crikey, our eyes locked while walking through Market Avenue, then he followed me into several shops before approaching me in the pound shop and asking me out. That was the lovely part, it went downhill quite fast from there.

Still quiet on the text front. Maybe I've got through at last!

I totally agree Inyourhippyhat, I have a lovely life just as I am. But I wouldn't mind a bit of romance, a bit of love and affection, being treated nice, I really would like to experience that. He has his house, I have mine, we just meet up in the middle for the good stuff.

I totally forgot about cosmic ordering. I never did give it a go because I wasn't actively looking at the time. Isn't it where you make a list of qualities that your ideal man will have?

Well, Time - if nothing else, you are clearly the kind of woman that makes men act on Impulse! Wish I was .

That's it chaotic, I didn't try it either but according to this book I'm reading whatever you ask the universe for you get. I've been asking for this lovely pair of shoes since yesterday but I haven't got them yet! Maybe it will be different when asking for a man.

Crikey that's true! Hopefully the next time it happens it won't be such a div acting on impulse.

HIppyhat
I'm totally with you here:
' I will feel truly free for the first time in 25 years and I do not intend to shackle myself (however loosely) to an individual who will be nice and kind for a while in the hope of getting sex....I can start living again and I do not need a man to help me do it.'

When my 2 had left home it was like getting out of jail (much as I love them!) I cant imagine ever wanting to share my life again...I will share my body for a few hours at a time but thats all :o

Sorry just popping on to say guess who has a boyfriend???

Its nice when you have someone to share things with.

My cosmic order has til September sometime to come up trumps... it's still in my book on the windowsill!

Depending how things go on weds, I might cop a look at it and see just how many points exactly current bloke meets. I'm pretty sure it's not all of them. 56 individual requirements I think I came up with in the end :o

Time you are not being too fussy. I dropped my standards for BOR last year and look how that ended up. hahaa

Wrt the shoes, give it time. You've only being asking since yesterday, you never know you may see them on sale next week

MLM you have a boyfriend? Does that mean you're exclusive with Mr Date now?

Hmm...I wonder if this cosmic ordering will work on my life?

New job
Lose weight
Win the lottery