please please help

[LouP19]

I have come home and my husband has moved out all of his belongings. Everything, even the garage is clear. He dropped me off after work and said he had to go and play cricket and needed some time on his own. I was distraught and said we needed to talk. Things haven't been right for a few weeks, he has denied somebody else.

All of his belongings are gone. I am shaking. No one knows where he has gone. Married 5 years, no kids. Please please help.

Well done you are totally amazing :)

He certainly does seem to belong to that group of total twat wankers that some call narcs. However, if he follows the same pattern, then be aware that when the begging texts don't work and the dummies get spat out, brace yourself because all hell will break loose and he will turn in to the most vile, evil, vindictive creature you have ever seen (even more than now), that's when a number change may be needed.

Dearest Lou

Have some more and .

Gee it's good to hear from you again and to know that you are not feeling too bad. Agree with the others: please ignore Sir Arsewipe of Twunt, even if you feel that your suggested text would make him shit himself. The effect on him of your silence is so remarkable, if predictable. Go with your neighbour's plan -she is a gem. So are you, matey. Goodnight, God bless and sleep well honey x x x

IMO the odd text is necessary to ensure that he keeps his distance and doesn't fetch up on your doorstep.

Do the minimum you need to do to keep the rutting stag at bay, honey.

Agree with Itwentthatway. We're taking the piss now but if he does have narc tendencies there may be a proper evil bit down the line and it will all be part of the same delusion. What makes him delusional also makes him dangerous. Take care x

Hope you manage to get some much needed sleep tonight Lou!

Oh it is so working!!! That waste of space is freaking out! That's brilliant!

Don't feel guilty about having told him to stay in contact. Compared to what he did to you, it seriously is nothing. Besides, you asked him to stay in contact, not that you would faithfully reply to his messages!

Ignore him. See how quickly he deteriorates!

I envy you for having such great family. Remember you are a lovely person. Everyone is on your side (see how even your neighbour that you weren't that close to sees this??) You are strong, genuine, and sincere. He's not. Ignore him.

I hope you get good rest :D

He never wanted to hurt you

Right. So abandoning you while you were losing a pregnancy, tipping you out in a car park, coldly planning his exit down to the last jar of chutney...that was all kind of accidental? Is he 4?

Based on the fab hemmarroid (sp?) cream story, I have a mental picture of you getting a courier to deliver his Viagra supplies with a concerned note to OW. "Poor limpdickchutney twunt forgot his medicine. "

Lou you seem to have some lovely people into your life-family , neighbours and now a virtual army of irate MNers. This is the standard of relationship you deserve.

Izzy he would really enjoy that message as it gives him endless N Supply.

The message you suggest is not radio silence at all. It's just giving his infantile soul kudos. And probably an erection. Yes. They really are that infantile and sad.

Any messages or communication other than by a solicitor, are totally pointless.

Lou:
Maintain Radio Silence.
See yr Solicitor
Secure your finances and belongings.
change locks (makes you feel better).
Do not reply to anything.
Divorce on grounds of UB
Cry fucking buckets.
Spend hours on the internet wondering what the fuck happened and who the fuck he was (normal and therapeutic behaviour imo)
Holiday in Greece in 6 months or so or one year from now.
Thereafter:
Live a happy fulfilled and lovely life.
His cock withers and dies from some incurable STD.

Text him back with just "yes I got your texts" and nothing more. Don't give him the power and melodrama he so desperately craves.

This is your life he's turned upside down, why should you do anything now to make him feeling less guilty, or do anything in fact with any reference to him at all.

I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight.

Clam it was actually my very perceptive DS2 who thought of that!

Lou hope u sleep well tonight

Oh do jog on, Marianne, there's a dear.

And why not try to actually talk to you husband rather than slagging him off to strangers?

I think it's got beyond talking now.

And why not try to actually talk to you husband rather than slagging him off to strangers?

Might it be because he didn't bother to talk to her before removing all the chutney from the house and legging it?

errrrr do one MarianneM...are you OW indulging in chutney and seriously writing those words??

Lou your amazing! Stand tall and come out of those shadows :)

strength and solidarity xx

Marianne: have you got the right thread?

The one where the OP arrives home to find that her "DH" has cleared out all his possessions, most importantly the CHUTNEY? Small detail of him having an affair, manipulating, lying, cheating?

I don't think a little chat is appropriate here

Oh and if it's not been said before, ducky is local terminology

Oops sorry, I didn't mean to break any rules with my post

I'll be off to bed then now too.

Hope you sleep Lou, you've done really well today

MN at its worst.

(I wonder what guidelines I have broken.)

On the contrary MN at it's best.

Lou - I have read this thread with horror. Never have I heard about a man quite so callous as your H. This is going to turn out to be the dawn of a wonderful new era for you, one without this oxygen thief dragging you down.

Get an absolute rottweiler of a lawyer. Do not be afraid to consult with more than one, to ensure you find the right one. Include adultery on the divorce papers and whatever you do, do not contact him at all.

Be kind to yourself and let your many supporters look after you. x