More than smacking

[verysadmum]

For obvious reasons, I've changed my name for this one.

My child has been hit (by hit I mean more than a smack & leaving a bruise) by his Dad on more than one occasion, I know I have to do something but what?

Have you had any experience in this? Obviously anything that prevents him being hurt is the best solution but what would you do? Social services to report? Solicitor to get injuction? Something else?

URGENT!! TIA

vsm, agree entirely with FestiveFly, especially about getting someone round to stay with you and keeping him out. It sounds like you had a really awful experience last night and you can't go through that again. {Hugs{}}

Totally agree with the others. It's much earlier now and you've got some time to try to get something sorted for tonight. I'm sorry what happened with your Mum. Definitely don't let him spend time alone with DS. Can this friend you are at help at all ?

are you around VSM?

I'm still around for a very limited time.

What are you going to do tonight?

Don't know.

Are you at home, is he home from work, is anyone coming to see you this evening? I wish i could do something

I'm at a friends. He's had the day off today so yes he's at home (and keeps leaving messages on my phone).

No one due round and I'm not planning to be there.

can you stay there tonight?
is your ds with you?

Oh good, i thought you were at home, stay at your friends tonight and please please start trying to get him out tom. You must this is horrible, if you need any advice on how to do it we can all help you. You have to start feeling safe and grounded again before you can start to heal

Take Care x

Yes he's with me (I wouldn't leave him) but I don't think I can ask again here.

I think you might have to, won't they understand, its 6.30, you can't get anything organised now. You can't go home with him there, you've come this far. Try and stay tonight and tomorow we could really help you with the practical steps of getting him gone

Hi VSM

Sorry things are still so unsettled, I agree with the others you really need to start making steps to get him out of the house. I'm sure all your friends, real and virtual, are more than willing to help in any way they can.

Do you want us to find a cheap place to stay for you, if you tell us what area we'll look

I do have literally nothing with me though, h was watching me go out and made me promise that I'd be home tonight...

Well my mother had rented my room out within a week of me moving out (at her encouragement) at 19 so probably.

Don't promise him anything!!!!! You don't have to answer to him.

I didn't have a choice FestiveFly!! I am going to drive around for a bit. I have sent a text to someone who did offer before but I do know she has her own problems at the moment.

You can't go back tonight with him there, first of all he will still think he can control you, its to easy for it to errupt, its just a bad idea. So your options are asking your friend for one more night, staying in a hotel,b and b, staying in a refuge or telling your mum. Which sounds the most realistic option to you?

vsm - are you stikl there?

I've just read this thread, VerySadMum, and although I'm no good at advice, I also wanted to say that I'm another one who admires your strength in dealing with this. Thinking of you, take care.

I'm back. After driving round for an hour I sent a text to my friend (where I was earlier) and I'm here again now. I should have asked earlier but I'm really not good with the face to face stuff and I felt really bad asking.

I sent a tet to my h saying that I wasn't coming back tonight and he phoned and was absolutely mad. Apparentely this is all my fault, he was horribly convincing but I asked him "so I've been hitting you then?" to which he replied "you make it sound like I come home every night and ... (explicit)" which of course isn't the case, I've never said it was. It's more the threat and the emotional stuff. Okay so I'm not a supermodel, I'm not the perfect mother or housewife I might be overweight and a cow are times but hey I haven't changed that much since he met me unlike him.

I have given in on the cinema thing though and he is taking him tomorrow. He promised my son and he wants to go. He calmed down when I told him. Mind you he has threatened to bin all my stuff so we'll see!

Beetroot - had my friend said no I'd have actually gone tonight. I just can't stand to be under the same roof as him.