More than smacking

[verysadmum]

For obvious reasons, I've changed my name for this one.

My child has been hit (by hit I mean more than a smack & leaving a bruise) by his Dad on more than one occasion, I know I have to do something but what?

Have you had any experience in this? Obviously anything that prevents him being hurt is the best solution but what would you do? Social services to report? Solicitor to get injuction? Something else?

URGENT!! TIA

That's so nice Popsicicle...

Come over and give me a hug, stay with me or take us away from all of this...

Take H away instead...

Turn back the clock so this hadn't happened...

Well I can dream.

verysadmum - you are making me cry...
is there really no one you can go to tonight???

Sorry. I don't want to bring anyone down with me.

Not now there isn't. Look I'll be fine. It's not like he knows I've called social services or anything.

Youve made me cry too - wish I could come and give you a hug and take you away and I dont even know you - your friends will be just dying to help if they only knew, is there anyone you can ring at all?

Hotel sounds a good idea?

VSM - am trying so hard to work out who you are and where you are...

That did cross my mind Sobernow. They are asleep now though and they're confused enough already - I can't just up and leave. I probably shouldn't drive either.

I don't want to do this again tomorrow though. Tis scary...

VSm - do you go out to work or are you at home tomorrow???

I wish I could ring someone and tell them but apart from being half past ten I'm actually incredibly ashamed about all of this.

Sorry I should go, I don't want to make you sad - I just needed to 'talk' to someone.

Popsy - Please, I don't want to be known. I don't know why but I know one person who knows seems to have gone really cold on me and that really upsets me and leaves me feeling a bit vulnerable. I'm already paranoid about offending the others.

Dont worry about making others sad VSM, sorry if my post made you feel bad - I can empathise, I have been in an abusive relationship before and can understand the feelings of shame, humiliation etc etc

Take Care

VSM - I think you said you're in Surrey, sorry if I'm wrong. Just found this on a website - it does say that they have support out of hours.

Surrey Woman's Aid
Information, referral and advocacy, support groups, refuge. Contact directly or via the local Samaritans. Pager system offering support and assistance out of office hours.
( 01483 751306
(01784 472240
(01483 844444 (local Samaritans - 24 hours)

VSm - you have no reason whatsoever to be incredibly ashamed!!!! That is the opposite of what you ought to be feeling!!
please dont feel like this!!!!
the very fact that you have taken steps to protect your son proves that youhave nothing at all to be ashamed about!!!!

do you work...we dont need to know who you are VSM - just want to help
if you are not at work tomorrow and dp is, then it gives you a bit of time......
you can't go on like this
i was with someone a llong long time ago and it became very destructive for both of us....no children then though
it took YEARS to get out of it, so I know about that bizarre loyalty that you may be feeling....
you said afew people know.....contact them tomorroew and tell them that you need some help
they will help you

Verysadmum, i've just got in and before i read down the thread to see whats been happening i just hope your alright. I'll write something more in a minute, but we are all here for you NOW!!!!

Verysadmum are you still around?

VSM - i must go to bed but will check this thread out tomorrow - please try tosort something out for you and your kids
i kno wthatother umsnetters will help you out tomorrow. i am att work unfortunately - will be thikn of you thgouh

Verysadmum, please don't be scared, i am up for a bit, if theres anything i can do, i will ring a refuge or a hotel or anything. Please take care, if you don't post i will check at 6.30 in the morning. Thinking of you

VSM, only just caught up with this. I don't know what to add, agree with Aloha, Twinkie and others, you need to get out, you need to get legal advice, you deserve to be safe and happy. Hope you're OK now, thinking of you. (((((hugs))))

How are you, and where are you? Hope your alright, please take care

Still not around??????

Sorry. Close call last night in many ways... I can't even bring myself to post the details.

I am around and I've (just) managed to get away (h has had the day off) and popped in to a friends. H has been really funny and is really determined to have time alone with ds. The fact he is so persistent worries me.

I tried calling my mother this morning just to sew a few seeds and (although I was crying still) said she didn't really have time to talk. I'm not going to bother again.

Having swapped a few texts today (thank you YOU!) I am feeling a bit more positive, although I'm not quite sure where we'll end up tonight but I really do not want a repeat of last night...

Thank you so much for being there. Me xx

Very worried about you vsm. Glad you are in direct contact with at least one mumsnetter.

Have you done anything practical, he has to get out of your house!!!!!! This just isn't fair, he is still calling all the shots, its not you who should be looking for somewhere to stay tonight,it is him. Get him out! Is there anyone that would come and stay with you at yours so you can feel safer! Perhaps you should just tell your mum, even though she might not listen she wouldn't want you or her grand child in danger, surely