Success, standards and still holding out for Johnny Depp...dating thread 18

[ChaoticismyLife]

Forget the olympics...we're aiming for dating gold.

Only the best is good enough.

As you were....:)

Plus, I am interested in the Olympics beyond the male swimmers.

So am I...I mean there's the male divers, and the male cyclists and the male rowers etc etc

Seriously though, I have actually found myself enjoying some of the sports that have been shown, not just the participants. I've seen the equestrian events, cycling, swimming, diving, sailing, rowing, canoeing(sp) (the sprints, not the white water one, which I only caught about 20mins of), and archery. I've never watched an Olympics before and don't think I'd have bothered with this one if it wasn't for the olympic channels but having them has given me the chance to watch, and discover that I enjoy, some sports.

I used to watch F1 until they swapped to itv, which ruined it.

I'll never like football though. I've tried watching it in the past so I could say I'd given it a chance and came to the conclusion that I'll only ever watch it if I ever suffer from insomnia

snape I would say you hit the nail on the head. It might sound harsh but is just bluntly honest.

I am into football a little (chelsea til I die) I watch top gear, did last night whilst waiting for my date. And we aren't rushing things which feels good. He makes the journey to just see me, nothing to do with sex or anything but just seeing me. I smile as well, but hate my teeth.

I was brought up on football, cricket, rugby, golf, F1, darts, snooker, racing, athletics...basically if there was sport on TV my dad watched it (and so did I). I can't bear golf, and never really caught on to cricket, football is my main thing though :)

I've had a miserable day, and the things that usually make me happy (food and shopping) have had no effect. The only other thing is getting blind drunk but I need to wait to the weekend really for that :(. I showed the girls on my team a photo of Mr not ready for a commitment and they thought he was awful & I'd had a lucky escape. which actually made me feel worse rather than better.

Awww sponge i hope tomorrow is a better day for you, you really did have a lucky escape with him you know, nothing to do with his looks, even if he had been a total stunner he would still be an utter emotionally stunted, damaged twat. He went all in feelings wise within three seconds, he had red flags all over him.

If it's any consolation my daughters dad is no catch at all to look at yet has fathered children with three different women and is a serial cheat. Ugly man + pretty woman doesn't make anything a dead cert, especially when said ugly man is ugly on the inside too, or emotionally incapable

thanks Lubey. I actually prefer slightly rough looking men so tbh he looked fine to me. I agree he has issues, he's deleted all his photos off POF now. Not sure what to make of that. We were meant to be going for drinks & dinner tonight instead Im at home on my own :( I thought finally I'd found someone who liked me, and that made me so happy, but it was just bullshit. And now I feel worse than ever, in tears for the second night running. I know I'm being utterly pathetic but I just feel so bloody sad and disappointed.

Oh I think he did like you, he wouldn't have said all that if he didn't. But he overwhelmed himself and got cold feet, because he is a knob, damaged by the 'amicable' split, which he also lied to you about seeing as it clearly wasn't amicable etc etc. It actually wouldn't surprise me if he tried to come crawling back at some point. But if he does don't have any of it, this is not someone worthy of your time

Sponge, I'm another one who thinks you had a lucky escape, and that sending texts like that to someone he's never met really isn't a good sign. But having said that, I can understand how sad you feel tonight. Coping with disappointment after disappointment is just so tough.

Re sport - I like football (though only go once a season now) and used to like F1, though I draw the line at Top Gear.

sponge hope you feel better tomorrow ((((hugs)))) and you are not pathetic at all, you are a strong independent woman, but you have feelings too and you have the right to cry, sometimes its about letting it out, and without realising it i think sometimes its that you missed certain thing about an ex or about being in a relationship. I missed my cuddles and kisses. Everyone has times when they have melt downs, and thats fine, i do, i spent the monday before last in tears all day, not dating related but because i was struggling to cope with little man and i felt like a completely and utterly shit mum, i broke and cried but tried to put on a front, fortunately a friend phoned and took little man for the night and i went to bed early and relaxed and felt better the following morning

Just got a text from him saying he hopes I am ok and that it will be next week but not sure which day yet

That's fine and actually a big relief. I just couldn't do it this week I think. Phew.

Feel better knowing I have some space to think.

lubey glad you have the space and time you needed. Hope it helps.

Thinking that this guy did actually like me has made me feel a bit better. Not much but a little. I think he did get a bit overwhelmed by the reality, that fits in with a few other things. He asked me some odd stuff too, not pervy odd or anything, just a bit strange - what my Ex does, what he looks like, that kind of thing.

I did like him though. And I felt very at ease with him which I don't often - we sat cuddled up on the sofa watching the Olympics, and I was so relaxed & comfortable I could have fallen asleep - I didnt but it was that sort of feeling.

I've realised tonight hadn't sat like that watching TV with anyone since the nice Ex 4 years ago :(

sponge and that was what was making you feel so bad, you missed that closeness and cuddles and feeling relaxed, i know cos i do with my date from last night, i reckon if i keep seeing him he will need a name, i dunno though, just see what happens. Think its nice to be looked after and cared for, and treated with respect.

Hey ladies I have a question for you... When do you start talking about where you are at relationship wise? Have post snog date tomorrow.....cos basically at the moment I am more into the idea of non serious dating, maybe sex (tho won't put it like that exactly)....well at least for now...but feel like its a bit weird to broach immediately?

As lubey mentioned, having someone giving you cuddles, etc is great and has probably allowed all your emotional vulnerability to surface.

It's ok to cry just to release the tension.

Meanwhile, I am a bad, bad girl.
My date tonight was with 9 blokes and a woman.
Actually my self defence class. :o
But, as I paired with this cute, fit and younger guy, he hit me slightly at the end and apologised, while at the same time holding my head and then kissing my forehead after what seemed like a slightly awkward moment. Probably all in my head, but it didn't stop me from thinking about him as I left in the car.
Slap on the wrist.

I also ended up on the floor with another one that I wouldn't mind surrendering to. :)

But there's a hint for you, sponge, on how to get all sweaty and skin to skin contact with men.

Ithink,
Not sure. People's needs change. You may not want it now, but yes later.

Maybe mention something along the lines of seeing where it goes?

Lueji. I must take up self defence and hope I'm hit on the head!

Lubey. I read the thread and I'm sorry you are edging towards some sort of talk. However your instincts kicked in and they can never be ignored.
I once had a fling with a man who was emotionally stunted and a rubbish communicator. The first night I slept with him i remember he left the room to go to the loo. When he walked back in my instinct suddenly kicked in and screamed controller. To this day I remember it. It was right.
That's not to say your man was a controller or anything of the sort but it just goes to show how strong instinct is.
You seem very strong. I hope next week comes soon.

Sponge. It sounds to me that man was self absorbed and clouded by romantic notions. Keep clear. He is a nightmare.

Been chatting to a few but it's all so fake on the Internet.

Luej-martial arts classes are hotbeds of seething desire and sexual possibilities where the men always heavily outnumber the women

funnily enough your post has just reminded me that I've been meaning to take up Judo..cant beat a bit of grappling:o

Had some promising messages on pof which swiftly turned into the usual rubbish.
One man, nice looking asked if we could meet Thursday for a coffee. Great I thought. I said we could meet for a couple of hours but as I had a plane to catch in the evening I didn't have much time. It was very late and I then fell asleep. He sent a text saying he was deleting me after I wasted his time.

Another asked for coffee and made it plain he would be expecting sex. Asking if all went well would I be inviting him back to mine. He wanted me to make that decision. I didn't so got blocked.

Such gems!! I guess this is the norm.

I'm a lurker but I'd love some advice. Been on two dates with this really nice guy and I'm interested but I go all self-conscious and awkward so I want to make it clear by inviting him out somewhere. However, we went out yesterday and this weekend he is away and weekend after I'm away. And next Monday and Tuesday are out.

So I'm not sure what to do. I think tomorrow night would be too soon but next wed too far away? And what to do on a weeknight ...

You could say 'are you free at all before the weekend?'. He will be ok with your suggestion. Don't say 'no pressure, it doesn't matter if you are not free' etc and dress it up. Just ask a direct question. I think but then I'm fairly hopeless

Glad you have a bit of space Lubey, and he sounds like he's being good about it. Sounds like you are thinking it through and making sense in your head, which is good.

Sponge, I know, It's the small things like that, isn't it. Im massively appreciating the small stuff.... Anyway, I hope you don't mind, but I showed your fb pic to mrl, we were talking about dating and I mentioned friends who were doing so and having a dreadful time ( incidentally so is anyone he knows who has done it) and he said what a stunning woman you were and how happy and smiley and friendly you looked. I know that wont help at all, but wanted to you to know.

Leuji, I think lots of us have non typical girl interests.... I camp/ glamp. like politics/ history/ natural world. I can do diy ( though try to avoid at all costs. I can spout military knowledge until the cows come home. Can sail, race segways and bbq like a motherfucker. I have no interest in f1 or top gear, and barley watch tv, but I do know basic car mechanics..... I think It's not unusual to have a wide range of interests....

Had a lovely afternoon/ evening/ morning with mrl. Have told him I am kidnapping him for the whole weekend :)
And then next weekend, after lots of discussion, hes being introduced to dd.

watch, so pleased alls still well with you and mrl. and that youre introducing him to dd too, how great is that! :) thank him too for his comments about me, thats really kind of him.

I am not very smiley at the moment though. this whole thing has really knocked me for six. hasnt helped that in talking to a couple of friends they suggested I probably don't come across well on dates and that's why they one from Sunday changed his mind about me...

So basically it's all my fault :(

I have been offered 2 other dates. they seem nice enough, but I'm not sure my hearts in it and according to said friends I'll just fuck it up anyway so what's the point

To be fair, sponge, the 'not coming across well on dates' didn't stop him from taking you home and snogging your face off for half the night

Honestly, it's not you, it's him.

But thats bollocks, It's him. The red flags were waving before you even met. Like snape with catwesel, I expect he had this fantasy in his head, then when confronted with an actual real woman, he was terrified.

If you Didnt come across welk he would hardly have cooked for you, or sat with his arm round you, nor mentioned tuesdsys date..... You know that.

It's him. As mrl said 'It's Because men are dicks' I'm inclined to agree.

If you feel up to the dates, go :) what are they like?

But, If you feel too fragile, then don't.

Also, your friends are mean.... What a horrible thing to say :(

Sponge! There's soooo no way at all it was you. It was all him, he was a knob.

I really hope you can have that same epiphany moment I had, and find some inner peace, or something else that makes you happy - and just completely have nothing to do with any dating for a while. I wish I could wave a wand and make it happen for you, it was so totally ground shaking and game changing for me. Can you see what it's done to you? it's awful. You are so knocked and down. I see so much of how I felt in what you write. Look after yourself love.