Im so jelous / threatened by his 'ex'..

[chocolatepuff]

Hi there

Ive been seeing a wonderful bloke for 7 months-ish.. things seem to be going really well after a rocky start. The rocky start was that after about 5/6 weeks of us initially seeing each other, he broke up with me as he had slept with someone else. (is this cheating? i dunno, it frigging hurt.. but he finished with me the next day and told me why. and it was v early on in the relationship)

anyway he rings me a few weeks later saying what a terrible mistake he'd made, how he really likes me and has missed me, see's a future with me etc) i say im not sure and its left for a few more weeks. and then we slowly begin seeing each other again.. and that brings us up to now.

the info on the girl he slept with is (according to him) a girl he met last summer and went on holiday with as part of a big group of friends. He said he had a crush on her but that nothing happened on the holiday. So when we began seeing each other and an oppertunity with her happened to present itself, he took it..

he has said since, that since last summer he had built her up in a fantasy in his head, and the actual reality of being with her did not match up to it. (he has said numerous times how stupid he was to do it) hence he realised then that he wanted to be with me. (i know i know, that sounds shit written down, like he is some fucking casanova, choosing what woman he wants! makes me angry to think about)

my issue is, is that she is part of a wide circle of friends of his, and they are all going on the same holiday again this year. and he is giving her a lift

i am so threatened by this/her. i know i wont be able to relax the whole time he's away. Ive spoken to him about it and he has said that it will never happen again, that he wouldnt chuck what we have as he likes it too much. and yet.. i just want her to fuck off! i cAN just imagine she'll be all done up and glamourous, and confident, and he'll start fancying her again..

i havent met her by the way. my 'knowledge' of her is via facebook stalking (i know, i know)

and i cant afford the holiday, incase anyone asks why im not going. (plus it was booked before we met)

just want to know what you guys think of this really..? and wwyd?

thanks for reading x

His words last night were hollow; a sop designed to keep you in your place which is pandering to his mahoosive ego.

If it were otherwise he would have called you as soon as he read your text instead of responding with 'see you soon hopefully'. I'd be inclined to text back 'I sincerely hope not as I have no intention of seeing you again. Consider yourself dumped. Have a good life'.

Win some, lose some, honey, and this one is well worth losing. And it's far better for you to know what he's like now rather than worry yourself sick while he cavorts at a festival before returning with another 'confession'.

In his mind he has said all the right things. He was sympathetic when you confessed your worries, he said he'd talk to you further tonight and when you blew him off he didn't get mad and said he'd hope to see you soon.

If you challenge him he will play the injured innocent.

But it's not what he has said but what he has done (and failed to do) that is important.

Gather up your dignity and step away OP. Dont try to get the last word in, you're better than that.

I'd leave it for now OP and see how you feel in a few days and what he does in the meantime. Just focus on all the other positives in your life and being kind to yourself and give him time to miss you and think about the consequences of his taking the ow to festival etc. Retain dignity and give the whole situation time and space

Thank you all xxx

How are you doing, ChocolatePuff?