Turning Tavern IV - Down Bi the riverside, near the well of loneliness...

[NotForProfit]

Hi all,

thought i'd be proactive and start a new thread for the wenches of the turning tavern as the old thread's pretty much full...

for anyone new to this, it's a thread for women suddenly finding themselves attracted to another woman, so grab a glass of something intoxicating, pull up a chair by the fireside and we'll try to help one another deal with the elation, confusion and heartache of rediscovering your sexuality.

NotFor, CW is nothing to do with work, is she? perfect! (well still a question of her H, but I think if she is so openly giving you a come-on he night not be an issue as she seems not anxious at all!).
outmy you aer funny - it's really far too late to be toning your posts down! if she ever read it she would've done already, and from now on you are not going to add anything new to ID her or yourself, and anyway there is much less to tell now. I think it's silly for us to be scared - the whole point of this thread is to be open and unload emotions, why should you restrict yourself for some unlikely outcome? I don't think your wiq has kids so even more unlikely to read MN. Also who can be bothered to read through all these lengthy posts of ours thinking on an off chance it could be someone they know! I'm sure mine doesn't read it at her age, no small kids, no H, (and she's very busy with work) as I know she doesn't even spend much time on internet. A friend of hers could read of course but it's a long shot. And anyway who cares? if they read it, so what. Not ideal but in a way possibly flattering for all the attention. I'm not intending to cool my posts down as it's also far too late, and i don't want to as I won't get honest answers to my q's.

well outmy it really depends whether she said it with a 'wink and a smile' in humorous voice, or sarcastically/smirking - it can be fine if the first option. NotFor said that she was generally very tolerant, so I doubt it that it was malicious. I think what she's doing is showing clear boundaries early on, as she's with P- it's better imo than mixed signals or giving false hopes (like yours).

agree that it was out of order to tell people at work! it could be thatshe just told one friend in confidence but they didn't keep a secret, but who knows. anyway let's focus on a positive which is CW!

outmy, what do you think btw regarding me approaching my wiq - I asked NotF but what's your opinion - is it better to say something and spell it out or make a non verbal pass, i.e. touch her hand and sort of linger a bit?

'cute woman'

yes, of course the talk will have to happen, I just find it very awkward to suddenly start it and what is the right thing to say. I mean should I touch her for a start? I mean she couldn't ignore it and will have to either say something or ask me, which is fine (hopefully not jump away in disgust!). Or do you think I shouuld just talk first? It's just she may 'melt' a bit during the touch whereas the talk is more serious and she HAS to be a bit drunk for that, I wouldn't attenpt it otherwise. Also if she didn't like it she could just step away and show negative reaction in which case I will know to drop it. I can always say 'sorry' then, or do you think it's too pushy?
30%! not bad - was it ever 0?

ha ha 5%! still you are very optimistic - thank you! in my mind it's been anywhere from 60% to -10%! Yes, i didn't mean just brush accidentally and briefly - meant holding my hand over hers or at least linger with finger touching - I should have tried lingering more last time when she was a bit drunkand i was giving her something, it's just as i say then we'd have to talk and someone was within earshot - people present there are SO frustrating! yet another factor in missing good opportunities! I wouldn't be too bold and hold her hand properly I think, in case it would freak her out. I don't think she could ignore this kind of thing unless she says 'sorry' and goes as if nothing happened. I still hope that she wants it to happen though, if not then it IS hopeless.

outmy, I'm still a bit doubtful though about trusting signals when she's had a drink. Do you think it's reliable, or very exaggerated (i.e,. could almost fabcy anyone attractive but it's not real)? i asked that already but can't remember anoyone giving opinion.

I'm actually much better since sharing the 'fanclub' thing with you two! Yes, it was ironic, but still a bit offputtingly arrogant, actually, which makes forgetting the whole thing slightly easier! reminds me of boys i used to chase at school who were only in it for an ego trip. 'All fur coat and no knickers' is what my friends' mum used to call it...

yes, it'll probably out me that much quicker but i sort of feel the damage has been done so what the heck...

Outmy - yes i plucked up the courage to initiate a conversation with CW this morning, as a response to her usual, 'eye-fucking'! Which is the first time I haven't waited for her to initiate a conversation, so that's progress for me!

Likea - what you need is a prop. See, back in the day the obvious one was a packet of fags! I don't endorse smoking btw, but there was definitely something to be said for being able to draw your intended shag's eyes down to your hands as you seductively release said ciggy from its carton (or sat there making an awful mess with baccy and rizlas) . And then, of course, you could say 'do you want one?' which is a handy double entendre. And then of course you had the opportunity to touch hands and the 'does this mean anything or are they just offering me a cigarette?' moment. not to mention the bit where you both fumble with the lighter. And seductively put the cigarette to your lips [pretending to be Audrey Hepburn]

I'm not sponsered by Benson & Hedges by the way , just trying to illustrate the usefulness of an appropriate prop which could in some way facilitate the opportunity of accidental touching (leading to more intentional touching as the evening wears on... struggling to think of what the modern day equivalent could be... ideas on a postcard etc

NotFor, yes agree cigs were useful - unfortunately I never smoked (used to have bronchitis) and wiq seems never to smoke either.
So how DI?D the conversation go? any hints from you to her or vice versa?

is cw younger than you?

btw O'm pretty sure she engineered that passing of an object from me to her last time - there was absolutely no need to be doing it, and she's had a drink after which normally she doesn't deal with anything practical - that's when the touching of fingers happened, not sure if on purpose but likely (glances in the same time). I just bloody wish we were on out own then! I was well up for saying something as I had a good day and she was nice, and felt quite brave. may have to wait a while for similar opportunity. Actually I should have done, just kept the voice down, now regretting it.

I'm*

hi outmy! well last day at school tomorrow for you - I hope she doesn't come up with a shocker of any kind (well unless it;s an apology of some kind, which would be nice). It's hard to say what the stares mean without seeing her expression - is it defensive and annoyed, or more sort curious/quizzical? if you can't see, then impossible to tell.
I didn't say 'fancy anyone' I meant fancy people she would find attractive to look at, which in sober times would be just a liking but no more. Someone else told me NOT to make a pass when she'd had a few drinks as then she may act on impulse (touch or kiss) and regret it later - I still hink ONE drink would help, but also even if more drinks, once she croseed that line maybe she'll like it and wouldn't want to stop?

if I had three full glasses in one go, I'd be drunk, not out of it complteely but drunk! I don't drink often. I think for her two is ok after that she becomes unstable and a bit too merry (funny but really not concentrating) and more than three - she goes and has a nap from what I've seen. Taking advantage crossed my mind she really IS not in control then but no, I'm joking!
Well if she was recently puzzled I've no idea - it would be possible that she was puzzled that you aer not making any more attempts at chatting after agreeing to be friendly but then she contradicts this by last time being rude and walking past not saying even 'hi'. Or could be puzzled at you generally, but I can't see why unless you were giving her strange looks. Whatever it is, tbh it doesn't matter much if she's not doing anything and doesn't want you to do anything. I don't know, I wouldn't be surprised if she says something tomorrow - whether nice or not.

i woud guess cw is the same age as me or thereabouts. do u think this is a good or bad omen for any possible developments?

the conversation itself yesterday was pretty basic but nice. esp the eye contact which went with it. think il let her make the next move, dont want to come on too strong.

i was in meetings all day so didnt see wiq. i shrugged off the fanclub thing at the time in a self deprecating way. typical me.im kinda glad ive at least decided not to bother with anything other than platonic stuff with wiq now. makes life much simpler and has focussed me on getting to know cw better.