Turning Tavern IV - Down Bi the riverside, near the well of loneliness...

[NotForProfit]

Hi all,

thought i'd be proactive and start a new thread for the wenches of the turning tavern as the old thread's pretty much full...

for anyone new to this, it's a thread for women suddenly finding themselves attracted to another woman, so grab a glass of something intoxicating, pull up a chair by the fireside and we'll try to help one another deal with the elation, confusion and heartache of rediscovering your sexuality.

so you aer still looking on that wretched FB? definitely cancel! of course she will still be on your mind but at least you won't be 'feeding' all the tine for any new questions/thoughts. No I understand dthat things may hold you back from doing more interesting things, mundane stuff I assume.
As I say, she could have answered with either saying that hearing fron ME is great, or some compliment in return. If she is holding me at arms length, what is the chance she'll stop doing that? is there any chance? what would pursuade you if you were in her place (I know it's hard to imagine as you ar a diff p[ersonality but still, say you had reasons like telling dc was an issue or you were bi and possibly dating a man, rather than definitely interested in a woman).
sandcastle means an illusion, or something futile that you spend your time on, something you've been building up, putting an effort but then it disappears as if never existed with one blow! very much your situation, and could be mine too.

feeding it

I just have a nasty feeling that when i tell her it will be all on the lines 'you are too young for me, it's unrealistic/futile' from her (if she is nice and agrees to chat). It doesn't bloody help that she id now dating that guy, if she was just gay, i'd feel so much more positive as I'm attractive generally and we like each other as people, but it's the whole 'would she trade that guy for a woman' even if she is bi!

The wobbles are really on DH's part; thanks for the offer of help, Loveis. Both WIQ agree we are providing more scaffolding to our DHs' lives these days; we need to keep them sweet after all. We are both incredibly lucky. WIQ's DH has asked that he be free to sleep with another woman. She's had to say yes but is worried how she'd feel in reality. My DH hasn't mentioned it and is a very honest man so would not just do it behind my back. He really has understood that my attachment to WIQ is all about attraction to the female form and deep emotional connection; he knows I don't want another man, he is all the cock I want!
Now then, I do supposed when you book a cottage that you can stipulate a lovk on the main bedroom!!!

don't !!!

lock !!!

Just to clarify I DO have a deep emotional connection with DH. But he seems to understand there's a difference between mine with him and mine with her.

< walks nonchalently past riverside Tavern pretending not to look over ...
then walks back again (marking place !) >

NotFor - I hear & understand what you say about not wanting to come between WIQ and her DP. Nobody wants to be a marriage recker. Its an incredibly difficult situation to be in and I'm amazed that fate has put me in a position where my WIQ and I can have it all. Throughout my friendship with WIQ, we have talked about our relationships with our DHs as all women do. I picked up on something I could tell she was missing; ease of conversation, not having to explain feelings and hurts and, as female friends I was able to give her those things. I honestly think that if you are hoping to have a relationship with a woman from within your marriage, 100% honesty and 100% openness has to be the starting point.

I don't even know what a WIQ is !!

A "woman in question" ?!

No, I'm just slightly curious !
Might pop in for a swift half one day

Especially as might be refreshing on such a sultry evening

HappyTit, I did say what would you feel if your H was open about it wanting a fling with someone else), and what if it was with another man? if fine, then all is fair. Hope your wiq's marriage won't be wrecked though if her P sleeps with someone and she can't get over it! hopefully he just doesn't do it, much easier then.
outmy, but by the sound of it you don't think my wiq has strong feelings for me - or am i wrong? I'm the same as in my feelings (if they aer deep) are much more inportant than social restrictions, and tbh it's not such a shock to anyone nowadays, though I would still not tell some of my relatives (who I'm not so close with) - I would still act on them though. But same question if your feeling were not bey strong for someone but there was attaction? I believe that for some people feelings develop onve they get closer, so if they aer not strong i want to do something so get stronger on her side, for that we really need to spend more time together, try closeness physically etc. Is there anything tat would pursuade you if feelings are not that strong?
as to the man, we really don't know, he's been a long standing 'friend' - maybe she's always been keen but he couldn'y commit or something (or was married) - she displays cards from him all te time!
Juggling - it's nice to start with curiousity rather than a shock when you are struck by the feelings to one person (unless they pursuaded you). so a good start!

Likea - my DH gives no impression of wanting another woman. He just wouldn't do tit for tat, and as for another man? no way. I don't see men's sexuality as being fluid like women's. I might be wrong. For some it may but not my man !

yes, I know - but what if he did (or will do in future), I'm asking in principle. sounds like you wouldn't like it tbh?

and i didn't mean tit for tat but in his own time if he meets someone.

I asked about Happy's dh as i don't remener whether he was bi (one postre's H was bi) but the question was more about another woman.

remember

outmy but there are bi men! granted, they tend to be more into men but do fancy some women, or have phases.

thanks outmy, it's helpful. In a way you were obvious though to your wiq as you wrote the note! she never hasn't done (my wiq) and also you know I've sent her very 'come-on' type texts which were an invitation for her to say something, but it didn't really help, thoug i do think she's overall warmer/closer to me she was, maybe due to all these small steps from me. It's nove to think though that she may feel much stronger than she shows, will try to hang on to that .

never has

nice not 'nove'

Likea - your Q "but what if he did (or will do in future), I'm asking in principle. sounds like you wouldn't like it tbh?"

To answer: well, I would insist on the same level of honesty as I have give him i.e fess up to first kiss and ask if its ok to proceed. So if he did (without permission), I'd be upset. I think that what I'm doing with WIQ is an extension of friendship. So in principle, if this was also the case for DH, I'd be ok with it.

yes, I did mean only if he WAS honest from the time he thought about it, not after acting on it. I wonder whether you had a gf before while married - was he fine (as in did you test him on that)? I'm only really asking that if this is your first time while being with him, it does in theory open possibilities of emotional blackmail (if not buying himself the right to sleep with someone, also any other demands he may feel like making in return - i don't mean anything nasty but could use it as a bargaining tool subtly).

asking that because