Turning Tavern IV - Down Bi the riverside, near the well of loneliness...

[NotForProfit]

Hi all,

thought i'd be proactive and start a new thread for the wenches of the turning tavern as the old thread's pretty much full...

for anyone new to this, it's a thread for women suddenly finding themselves attracted to another woman, so grab a glass of something intoxicating, pull up a chair by the fireside and we'll try to help one another deal with the elation, confusion and heartache of rediscovering your sexuality.

Oh God, I kind of haven't thought of that, sort of assumed she replies quickly (well within couple of hours) - what if she goes silent and doesn't text for days? very depressing. But it's hte same with the note or even if i blurt something out when leaving her place next time. as i say I can't say smth and then stay at her place for any length of time as it could be very awkward for her. what do you suggest if she goes silent? text something apologetic i suppose?

the advantage of a letter is that i can explain things properly, and how I'm taken by surprise myself etc, and that I'm fine if she doesn't reciprocate - you can't do that by text really. I could send her one before seeing her early next week? or at least could do it if she is shocked and silent to the text.

not sure what you meant by that, as I wasn't going to phone her after the text, just offer to talk to me on if she wanted to (to call me back) - I wouldn't put pressure by phoning and demanding answers, it's up to her. I didn't try to do anything bny phone before, unless you meant by sending texts.
I mean i could send a letter early next week, before i see her in a week as it's weekend coming and i can't post before monday.
What's horrid though is if she replies quickly 'no, thanks' or something, after me building it all up.

I could tell her just before leaving nexttime IF i have the nerve/noone there, but I wd still have to then wait for response, so no real advantage of that apart from eye contact maybe.

yes, agree really about apologising. The thing is we have arranged to meet in a week so she can't go completely silent - she would either have to talk to me about it or cancel the meeting - so in a way i don't have to chase her after few days for answers, but maybe just send a reassuring text that if she needs time/not interested can we forget about it for now and still get on with meeting? there will be one person at her house staying so it's not like she would be afraid of me being with her on her own.

oh God I'm not sure now. Maybe i should see her as planned and build up the vibes again and then hand her the note? nightmare to get it right!

yes tell me off! really i was just thinking aloud, but I don't want to be building anything up again - you did say first though that it's best to hand her the note next time i see her, so I was asking whether this was the best and before handing it to build the vibes just on that day. It's terrifying that if the reply to text is 'no' I may never see her again though! really scary - I hope she is not that 'silly' and can move on from it if not interested, even if she'd want a few weeks of no contact. I also think she wouldn't so unkind as to not chat, but she could just text 'no and we'll talk later' or maybe will call me about it - which is also bad then hving to hear her reasons or just 'don't be silly patronising speech or something. I'm not very optimistic really. But it can't just stay like that for much longer either.

I hope she doesn't think I'm just crazy coming on to her! or gets upset.

so do you think i should wait a week and hand the note, or text if she thanks for card/present (possibly tmwr) - imagine you aer in her shoes, which would you prefer?
oh no, I couldn't possibly wait weeks now. even one week seems far too long.

we sort of ended on a high two days ago, so I'm quite up for it, but who knows what will happen in a week.

that's what i also suspect (last sentence) - wouldn't that be a sign that she doesn't want to hear anything else/not interested?
not sure what you meant 'you would only have to wait a few days' - I'd be only meeting her in a week, so it means waiting so long. Texts are personal - I ve heard her eencouraging that man to send her a text (as she couldn't talk about private stuff when she could be overheard). I think she is bound to be meerry/drink on her b-day, be in good mood, so why not use that, who knnows what mood she is in a week (or possibly stressed about something new).

merry

the nuisance is, I left some stuff at her place last time which i do need to collect in a week, not sure whether she feels 'trapped' by that even if she'd rather not see me. Or the humiliation of telling me to use the key that she leaves outside! but i hope she will have a whole week to cool down and be ok.

it's not even just drinking but being in good mood from all the people wishing her well and ds being there (not always the case on her b-days). I can then send a letter still on Mon if she doesn't respond straight away or in any case. I know I'm overthingking 0 having a big anxiety moment! hope you understand! I know you've been through the worst that's why your opinion is so valuable (one of the reasons i mean). Any advise of how to react if she does send a 'no'? any wisdom after how you handled the rejection yourself?

well, not most of us here directly confessed apart from yourself! (and happytit but she felt secure before confessing due to lng friendship).

yes, if there is nothing at all tomorrow, no mention of card or any particular warmth (just dry 'thanks for gift') then i may wait till i see her instead of sending letter. will see how it feels. thanks outmy I know I' wearing you out with this today, but that's it now!

thanks, yes she wasn't straight as a dice in my eyes, but hopefully I wasn't deceiving myself!
I didn't mean actually how to handle a 'no' with her, but how to keep positive/not get too depressed internally!
why aer you still thinking of hte photo - do you think it would resolve anything whether it's her p or not? I did say that I'm sure you read the vibes correctly - there wewre too many to be in your imagination, but she is not right for you if she couldn't openly communicate amd acted like denying all knowledge.

I can't imagine how could she respond like she knows nothing after your note - I'd never do that, if i mislead someone i would apologise a hundred times and be sorry that they put themselves on the line and guilty even!