Last night

[shitwhathappened]

I've name changed obviously.

I'm not 100% sure why I am posting this really. Last night I went out for drinks with some friends, under pressure from a particular friend drunk a lot - enough to be totally legless. I hadn't drunk in quite a while, and I realise I could have said no, but I guess I just didn't realise my limits.

This friend then took me home as I did really need escorting to be fair, then started touching me while I was lying down after getting in. I think we had sex, but I can't really remember.

We are both in relationships. I really didn't expect this. This person had been a friend for over 6 years.

I'm not sure whether to tell my dp, right now I think telling him really wouldn't achieve anything except upsetting him.

So right now I am hungover, feeling like shit, but can't get back to sleep as I just don't know what to do.

Opentooffers your post is ridiculous, the OP's 'friend' decided to rape her and he alone is responsible for this.

I have reported your post.

unfortunately you can get into trouble if you report rape and then there's no evidence or evidence to the contrary, or so I've heard

This is absolute rubbish.

People get into trouble when they deliberately, maliciously and knowingly fabricate a rape. Not when they aren't entirely sure of the circumstances.

We recently had a report of a stranger rape in a park involving a teenage girl. Hours of resources were spent on it until my DH and his team realised that it was physically impossible for the account the girl was giving to have happened due to CCTV putting her in a different location at the time of the alleged offence. There was some sort of family argument and she had stormed off, gone somewhere she wasn't supposed to go and been caught out by her sister.

Nothing happened to her. And nothing would happen to the OP if there was no conclusive evidence either way. That's what investigation is all about.

OP - if you attend the local SARC you will be able to receive emergency contraception, STD screening, counselling and all the related services. You won't be pressured to report it to the police. It will be kept completely confidential

Opentooffers - Basically you are saying that as the OP went for a drink with a man she trusted that she is to blame for what happened? FFS. If you do not consent to sex then it is rape - not a 'mistake'.

more gullible so learn fro it and do not put youreself in this situation again (I wonder why you did) - what are you implying here?

When people open threads like this one the OP is in need of support, not to be judged and have her motives questioned, that's called victim blaming.

opentooffers not OTT, I wish it was, and I am speaking from personal experience of a similar situation, but it was regarding a young teenage girl, that did not say anything about an ex family member for years, and when she did, she found out that a similar situation had happened with more of her family, all older than her, and also older friends till HE got to her. Perhaps they could have saved her from a horrible number of years if they had said something!

You may also like to type in on google search engine, "rapists freed early from prison go on to rape again"

I feel there really is no point in saying anything else to you regarding my post.

opentooffers do you realise you are perpetuating victim blaming?

Opentooffers, please take your victim blaming, rape apologist myths elsewhere. Maybe do some reading.

Opentooffers, please take your victim blaming, rape apologist myths elsewhere. Maybe do some reading.

Un-fucking-believable. It's "her mistake" that he put his penis inside her after deliberately getting her so drunk that she didn't know what was going on? I feel like punching my screen right now. Reporting...

Sod off OPentooffers, HE TOLD ME that was the reason why he did it.

Hello

Thanks to all who've reported opentooffers's post; we've deleted it now.

This looks like a good time to link to our We Believe You rape myths page:

MYTH: Women who get drunk or take drugs shouldn't be surprised if they are raped or sexually assaulted
REALITY: Being vulnerable does not imply consent. If a woman is drunk, drugged or unconscious, she is not able to consent to sex(5).
Being vulnerable does not imply consent. If a woman is drunk, drugged or unconscious, she is not able to consent to sex.
If a woman has consumed alcohol (fewer than four in 10 cases), it is the man's responsibility to ensure that the victim has given, or is capable of giving, consent. If he does not do so, he is committing rape.

Simlilarly, a woman is not to blame if she drinks alcohol and is raped. Women have the same right to consume alcohol as men.

Thanks all
MNHQ

Rowan, thank you. Op, how are you feeling?

He calculatedly got you drunk and escorted you home where he raped you. As others have said this probably isn't the first time that he did this and won't be the last. It's a damning indictment on our society that people still question whether this sort of scenario is rape.

Please call rape crisis OP. You have done nothing wrong at all.

How are you op?

Sorry I haven't been able to post for a bit, completely unrelated circumstances meant that I wasn't able to reply for the past dew days.

I do really appreciate all the supportive messages. It means so much to me.

No updates I'm afraid, but I have just been trying to not think about it and have been doing a lot better.