His 'holidays' in bloody Thailand

[NotSoEdenRoc]

Name change.

I'm single. I've been involved in an on/off fairly casual thing with this guy for 3 years.He goes to the Far East about 4 times a year. Turns out that he goes to Bangkok and somewhere else in Thailand...I've only just found this out, he's never mentioned Thailand usually says he's going to Malaysia and/or Singapore but doesn't talk about his trip when he gets back home.

Can there be any innocent reason why a single man in his mid 40's goes to Bangkok 4 times a year ? On his own? And if it's all innocent (yea yea) why not just tell me the truth about where he goes?

I know I need to get checked for STI's. I am going to die of embarassment a woman of my age going in there, are these clinics full of 16 year olds?

But my main question here is, would anyone else feel like I do? I feel like I've lost all respect for him as a man. He's a horrible repulsive creature doing this. I feel dirty myself. I feel as if he must hate women.

I will get flamed for being a "prude" no doubt, but some women are happy to sleep with a man who they are already well aware has shagged "ladyboys" ?

really ?

Are pickings really so lean in your neck of the woods ?

You have said he has lied so i would be straightforward. Ask why he lied about the countries he has visited and then ask why he visits Bangkok.
Observe him carefully, if you're unsure get him to tell his story backwards. Can he elaborate? Is he using contractions in his speech i.e I didn't go or I do not go.
Personally whatever he says i'd give him the boot. There can be no good reason to lie about a country you have visited. Yes people go to thailand for other reasons than the sex industry but why lie????

Thanks blackcats that's a good way to approach it. I've uncovered a lot more info since I posted this morning, but I'm not going to mention that. Let's see what he says. Interesting on the contractions thing. Is that a sign of lying? Can you tell me a bit more please?

Don't worry, he's getting the boot whatever he says. I just want to know if he is capable of telling the truth.

what other info have you uncovered ?

AnyFucker - I've discovered that his ex wife divorced him because she found out he'd been seeing prostitutes. Here and in Vietnam,Cambodia and Thailand. I think we can tell his type. (She' was married to him for 8 years and it took her 7 years to find out - she must be as dumb as some posters here think I am!). He told me she divorced him because she wanted children and he didn't!! I'd heard a rumour that there were other reasons but never knew what they were.

He is probably not capable of telling you the truth. You will have to be satisfied with what you know, and believe only what you have unearthed yourself and seen with your own eyes. You will have to listen to your gut.

When he's said his piece I hope you tell him it's time to leave.

Get tested.

It took me far longer than 8 years to find out about exH's interest in older men. People who want to hide this do it well. It is probably the last thing you think your partner is hiding from you when you get involved in a heterosexual relationship.

I'm just relieved that I never got into a serious relationship with him. He's pushed for it from time to time and something (gut instinct?) held me back.

math that must have been a horrible shock for you.

Oh yes indeedy.

Thailand is an amazing country. Love it. I wouldn't have an issue with him going there. I WOULD have an issue if he refused to discuss it on his return. I rekon he goes there for sex. sorry op.

I just assumed that men don't talk to each other about visiting prostitutes

Another assumption bites the dust. Men talk to each other about every subject under the sun, often in graphic detail.

3 years, Roc? That's a very long time not to spot what's under your nose. A word to the wise: bin the rose tinted specs before you get up close and personal with future fwbs

And adjust your hearing aid - the 'it's open 24 hours, mate' in reference to a massage parlour anywhere in the world would have been enough for me

AF Yer prude lol! But everyone is entitled to their own opinion so I'm not flaming. Given what he did to his ex, sounds like he's not going to change his deceitful ways. Shame you can't warn others by tattooing him a' la Dragon Tattoo!

If he denies going there ask to see the stamps in his passport.

oh gak and yuk Roc

what a sleazy person

you have dodged a bullet there, thank goodness you never threw your lot in with this debased arsehole

get your STI checks and walk away from him forever

like I said earlier though, if you do find out he's been using underage kids for sex during his little jaunts, you will do the rest of the community a favour and make sure that gets around, won't you ?

izzyizin - is that the same advice you give to women who's husbands have been cheating on them for years? That they missed something that was 'right under their nose' ?
Very curious about some of the comments on this thread about my perceived lack of intelligence or whatever it is some of you are suggesting..

AF if there's any mention of anyone under 18 I will make sure everyone knows...we used to work together and our business lives are still very intertwined...our personal lives are intertwined too. I may even pay a visit to the local boys in blue although I'm not sure there's any jurisdiction here....

The funniest part of this is that I look nothing like a Thai woman. I couldn't look less like a Thai woman! It amuses me that he goes for small and slim and I, OTOH am well..neither small nor slim.

eek my grammar has gone to pot that should be "women whose husbands" of course.

sallyingforth - his passport and the stamps therein are exactly how this all started to come to light.

Just been reading your thread notsoeden I am just worried that you might be putting yourself at risk threatening to expose this man/lowlife please be careful!!

I don't think it's anything at all to do with how a woman looks when a man buys sex. It's about the feeling of having power over an available body who will do whatever you pay for. The fantasy of the compliant Asian is half the attraction.

to be honest Roc i wouldn't even let him come round tonight i think you know your gut instinct is right and from what you say about the reasons his wife divorced him i think your right too!!
Cut all contact with him you deserve so much better

If a dh/dp took himself off to Bangkok, Las Vegas, Amsterdam, or other infamous fleshpots 4 times a year for 3 years without any apparent legitimate reason to do so before his dw suspected he could be playing away, my conlusions/advice are unlikely to be materially different from those outlined in my earlier post (above), Roc. -

My earlier words were somewhat tongue in cheek but, humour aside, if it's taken you so long to twig that his frequent trips East were not for the purpose of doing good works - hosijng down elephants, rescuing orphan children or orangutans and suchlike - or to further business interests, it seems to me that your twat radar is more than 2 years overdue for a spot of serious tweaking.

In suggesting that you may be too trusting for your own good I am making no slur on your intelligence. Sometimes we may not want to believe what's under our nose, or have other reasons for ignoring the obvious. Either way, anyone who turns a blind eye shouldn't be too surprised if their sight is restored 'just like that', to coin a phrase.

izzy - he told me he was going to Malaysia and Singapore! I said that right at the very beginning of the thread.
He would have a good reason to go to Singapore (even though he's never actually been) so that didn't raise any red flags. Malaysia certainly didn't raise flags either. As far as I'm aware neither of those are 'infamous fleshpots'.
The whole point of my thread is that I have only found out within the last couple of days that he was lying about his destination when he goes off on his trips and he was in reality going to the 'infamous fleshpot' of Thailand. Had I known that I would have IMMEDIATELY seen a red flag.
Nothing was under my nose.

izzizin I think you are being too harsh.
MN is full of "how could I have been so blind" threads. It happens.