3am - dilemma - no idea WHAT t think

[Dontknowwhatithink]

Husband out tonight/last night at a "networking" thing with a client.

I last spoke to him early evening when he said he had been having communication problems with his phone all day (02 blackberry). He said there is a casino next to the hotel where they had meeting and that it looks like they would be going in to that ... And that he would be late. I joked saying that he'd need to not get carried away and to stick to a budget ...

So now at 2.45 am I wake and husband not home.

I check phone - email from him at just before midnight saying he was still having communication probs with phone - that clients are going onto "another" late night casino and that he was going with them. That client has an apartment nearby and he will crash there as he has an eat meeting with them in the morning.

Small backstory here in that my husband has tattoos - something he has always regretted and been very conscious of at golfing days etc when even in high summer he has ensured his tarts are covered up at all times so as not to give the wrong impression ....

To be honest I just don't know what to think - at this time in the morning it's easy to convince myself of any scenario!

I just don't know how to play things in the morning ....

Sorry, what have tattoos got to do with anything???

So how bad are these 'communication problems' if he can, actually, communicate with you to tell you he won't be home and you mustn't phone him?

The tattoos? Well if he is paranoid about them showing on a golf day then surely staying overnight at someone's place - apparently unplanned and therefore no nightwear/dressing gown .... Out of character I would say

not seeing a dilemma here - what scenario are you envisaging?? Is the client very anti-tattoo?

I did giggle at "ensuring his tarts are covered up"

cross-posts..

surely if he is crashing, he will just sleep in his clothes on the sofa?

When my DH has crashed at his colleagues, I know that he has sometime just taken his tie and jacket off (wears a suit to work) and sleeps on the sofa like that then heads home in the morning.

Why don't you just call him? Or ask him how he coped with the tattoos by email/text or in the morning.

Are you pregnant or anything?

Meant to say do you have any reason not to trust him?

He's a city bloke iyswim and would bee very conscious of appearance in front of new clients.

I dunno - if he's having communication problems with his phone then he'd be assuming a lot that his email has go thru to me.

Do I text him and say where are you (ignore the email?)

We have a young DD btw (5 years old).

in that case, he should have come home

are you worried that the "client" may not be real? and that he is lying?

No I'm not paranoid pregnant.

I do understand as my DH works in law in the city and has 2 sleeves, multiple chest an back pieces and wouldn't show them to certain bosses. I get your point about the tattoos.

Just wondering what you think the lie is? That is ins't where/with who/doing what he says he is?

Yes of course I'm worried about the situation - it just doesn't feel right ...

Well do you have any reason to feel like this? Do you have trust problems in the relationship?

If I want to know where my DH is I ask him. Just call him and ask him, raise your concerns. If he says he is at the clients house, say you are surprised as you thought he wouldn't do that due to tattoos. Just be honest about your worries. Surely if it all sounds fine you can just say sorry am feeling a little insecure see you tomorrow.

Can't believe I did this.

Checked his email.

Not brilliant

Re. sleeping over at a client's place - so long as it's a male client, I should imagine he'll just take his jacket, tie and shoes off - when I've been in a similar situation of crashing at a friend's place with several of her city colleagues, that's how they all slept, usually being very drunk and not giving any shade of shit how uncomfortable they were.

However - why are you so concerned? Are you worried that he is gambling away all the money? or are you concerned about unfaithfulness? Has he done this before?

Shit. What do I do now

OK, what did the email say then?

What have you found?

Hello darling.

Flowers sent.
Present sent.
Surprise visit.

Ahhh.. Who's it sent to?

Oddly I'm not surprised ...

But oh shit - our poor child :-(

Do your recognise the email or name. Is there more contact with this person?

Oh pants.