DH would like me to wear a dress.

[Singlesoundasyouscream]

I feel uncomfortable in dresses - I am wellbuilt and my tummy is bigger than my boobs so I think I'd look like a barrel.
I only ever were a tunic top over linen wide leg trews as I feel it's the most slimming option, and although I never look great it suits me ok. He reckons if I change from this "365day uniform" it'll give me more confidence and he's fed up of seeing me in the same clothes. And he'd be really pleased to see me in something more........ (but never really says a word here, iyswim?)
Would you give it a try? TIA.

My point, obviously, is that men don't usually talk like that.

"That's a nice dress, do you think it would suit you?" is something a gay friend might say. Might. Because he is window shopping with you.

Men will say "Why don't you wear some dresses?", IF they even notice what you wear.

Thanks for the tips on What Men Are Like, Cote.

I'd best tell my DP and straight male friends to adjust the way they talk ...

i can't believe i've just read that Cote

so a 'man', IYHO, will only compliment you if he wants to jump your bones?

hmm think he has been watching Gok. Realistically you have your comfort clothes and you like wearing them. We all do but frankly I also like to make an effort for my husband and wear a dress every so often. It doesnt kills me and it makes him happy. I am often surprised by how much better I look when I get out of my fashion 'funk'.

My DH doesnt like it when I keep buying floaty tops (I hate my fat tummy) but he would rather see the 'lovely' shape of me than a sack so I oblige every so often...

dresses are my lazy option.

they are comfier than jeans (don't cut into my muffin top)

I put a dress on, wear shoes or boots, sorted.

I find whitecompany dresses good, as they are not fussy and plain, and comfy yet feminine and flattering. This season not as good as previous seasons though...

Not sure about wearing a dress to please your H, but then again, why not? Nothing wrong with pleasing your H if he also tries to please you!

'It doesnt kill me'. Well, that's all right then.

Fill 'er up!

Dear God - he only suggested she wear a dress, not nipple clamps!
Lighten up you lot!!!
Is it really that wrong to want to look nice for your partner? That isn't submissive or 50s housewife behaviour - surely its about wanting him to find you attractive isn't it?

Maybe my DP and I are weird well I know we are in many ways, but he finds me attractive whatever I wear or don't wear. And I him.

Gee, I love being told to lighten up. It's kind of like being told you're 'over-thinking' something. Or someone calling you a feminist in an attempt to insult you.

"so a 'man', IYHO, will only compliment you if he wants to jump your bones?"

Wtf?

Have I said that? No. You need your head examined if that's what you understood.

so, why the comparison with a gay friend and what 'men' would say then?

your words, not mine

How about you compromise, you wear a dress and he wears something you like?
If it is only for one day i cant see the problem but if he is always telling you what to wear then there is a problem!
Im a leggings/jeans kinda girl but i do occasionally wear a dress and it is kind of nice to wear one sometimes, they are easy to put on and are quite comfy

LadyClarice would you mind having a quick check of my head whilst you're at the drinks cabinet, please?

"Gee, I love being told to lighten up. It's kind of like being told you're 'over-thinking' something. Or someone calling you a feminist in an attempt to insult you."
Well that's no worse than being labelled a "submissive 50's housewife" just because you want to wear something that your husband likes!

I'm not sure about this debate. My DH wears ancient T-shirts and shorts and still wears jumpers his DM used to knit him before her arthritis set in. I feel it's OK for me to comment on his taste in clothes (hell, everyone else who knows him does). He knows I'm not going to get annoyed if he doesn't wear what I prefer. I met him looking like he does now, so a bit late to get in a huff about it anyway. Sometimes he tried to please me by wearing shoes instead of pound shop flip-flops. He comments about my hair for example, sometimes I listen, sometimes I do what I like anyway. If he decided to get a tatoo or pierce his nose, I would be very upset if he went ahead and did it without consulting me first.

I've never seen our relationship as mutually controlling. It's about what is attractive to the other and dressing in a way they will like...not always and not if it displeases the other a lot. If OP's DH wanted her to shave her head, I would agree with many of the posters. But he just wants her to dress a little more femininely sometimes. How's that controlling?

I think it all depends what was actually said. My DH wears a lot of grey and I would sometimes like him to wear brighter colours and have in the past said while our shopping 'why not try a red jumper for a change?'

But I would never say 'I'm fed up of seeing you in grey, can you wear done red jumpers?'. Because that sounds quite 'serious' to me, like it's something that has been playing on my mind and is affecting whether I find him attractive (it doesn't)

It's all about her rights as a woman innit. He is like properly trying to tell her what to do - there is like no RESPECT, he is treating her like she is some SLAPPER or something who is like a TOTAL SEX OBJECT.

Booyakasha.

Save us a bit of whiskey LadyC, I'll have it when I've put the kids to bed, made his G&T and prepared a three course meal of things HE likes to eat :)

Sorry I can't take it too seriously. OP and her DP sound a perfectly nice couple and I'm sure they can work this one amicably. I just love the way these things become polarised and more than anything the humour of the drinking scene in the saloon bar. Ladies I salute you.

'Is it really that wrong to want to look nice for your partner?'

It's not wrong, but I have to say everything I do is for my confidence and self-esteem, not to please anyone else. So if I dress nicely and put on some slap, it's for me; if I rein in the food binges to stay a healthy weight, it's for me; if I exercise to ensure my arse still fits through the door, it's for me....
If my DH reaps the benefits of any of the above, that's nice, but I still did it for me :)

OP look at the dress thing separately to what your husband suggests/wants. Carry out your own experiments and spoil yourself a bit with a personal shopper and some light tan for the pins etc. If after that you're still not pushed, then you don't have to wear dresses for anyone. Anything you do for your own self-confidence and to be the best you can be, will benefit the people around you.. but the motivation should come from you.

And as for men finding women less sexy in trousers, do women really give a toss? Not me anyway... I don't believe my purpose in life is to make sure I look sexy for men

CoteDAzur - you are absolutley right.

Its a blimmin minefield for a bloke to say anything about a woman's clothing and 9 times out of 10 so normally we keep shtum. The words don't EVER come out right.

However, the word 'should' doesn't mean 'you have to because I am telling you' more like 'I am trying to give you a bit of nudge, a confidence boost and encouragement to give it a try'.

I am currently having wine though so maybe I have a bit of 'Dutch Courage' on this one.

Kaluki, I didn't call anyone a submissive 50s housewife. But I agree, I don't think any one comment/insult is necessarily 'worse' than another. And I'm happy to bandy comments about and have other people bandy them right back. I AM allowed to respond to them though.

UnChartered, I am too trousered on whisky don't have time to examine heads.

This is an interesting thread.
It's summer here and DH is wearing shorts. Nice shorts, knee-length adult shorts.

GOD HE LOOKS SO FIT!

He's got lovely, lovely legs. I mean, seriously, I don't mean to brag. But those legs! And I make appreciative remarks quite a lot and jump his bones quite a lot and tell him he looks lovely, and yes it's partly because until he moved to this very hot place he'd not worn shorts much and was worried he'd look silly, and so it's always good to hear when you're looking good, right?

But if he'd said, "no, I don't feel comfortable in shorts" I wonder if I'd have said "but I want you to wear them for me." ..... I do hope not.

that said, I used to hate wearing dresses and now I quite like them. The key, I've found, is to wear something like bloomers, to stop my massive thighs rubbing together and getting hot. So I quite light wearing summer dresses over light leggings or something, if I'm fancying myself up a bit. But I dress for me, with one eye on looking nice and presentable to The World Out There, with DH at the top of that list.

I dress for me. Dressing to please others first and foremost seems like an uncomfortable thing to do.

Erm. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here, OP, except that did I mention my DH looks great in shorts, and also, I think you should wear what you like :)

I would perfer to wear nipple clamps to dresses and even when i wear skirts i have tights or leggins on.

It just feels wrong for someone to tell someone else what to wear. I wouldnt like it. But if i chose to change what i wear i would hope they supported me in the change!

I also think its vain and shallow to be so hung up on what your partner wears.

Yes, AnAir I agree with you. It does sound wrong. It's an "I want you to do thing" to be more pleasing to ME.