DH would like me to wear a dress.

[Singlesoundasyouscream]

I feel uncomfortable in dresses - I am wellbuilt and my tummy is bigger than my boobs so I think I'd look like a barrel.
I only ever were a tunic top over linen wide leg trews as I feel it's the most slimming option, and although I never look great it suits me ok. He reckons if I change from this "365day uniform" it'll give me more confidence and he's fed up of seeing me in the same clothes. And he'd be really pleased to see me in something more........ (but never really says a word here, iyswim?)
Would you give it a try? TIA.

Yes, coppertop I totally agree, what next huh.

She could even be his barbie to her ken! what fun fun fun

I rarely wear dresses, and don't feel very comfortable or 'me' in them (plus they're not very practical for my normal lifestyle). I occasionally wear one for a wedding or something, and DH usually comments about how it suits me, I look good in a dress etc (which is nice, and I make similar comments on the rare occasions when he gets dressed up in a smart suit!)

But he'd never try to persuade me to dress in a way that made me uncomfortable, in fact he wouldn't see it as his business to have anything to do with my day to day clothing choices at all. I'd find it a bit odd if he started making suggestions about what I should or shouldn't wear, or said he was 'fed up' with the way I dress

If you want to try wearing dresses, then great, and I'm sure with a bit of shopping around you'd find the style that suits you. Only if you want to though.

Well it is boring to wear the same clothes day in and day out. So what if he's bored of seeing her in the same things. He's allowed to be bored of that. Tbh the op sounds like she's bored of it too. Shit I'd be bored!

Just try it op, if you don't like it don't buy it but at least give it a try.

I think people including the OP might be getting the wrong end of the stick on this one.

I tell my wife that I think she looks nice in a dress and that she should consider wearing them more often. Not all the time obviously but dresses do suit her. Actually, on average, I think most women look better in skirts and dresses than trousers.

I don't tell DW what to wear but I think I can say what I like her wearing. She does the same the other way round and I take note. Its easy to slip into a rut and stop caring about so much how you look when you have children.

When doing housework I would probably still refuse to wear a dress though.

Or try skirt and top combo. Or something else but it's not nice to feel in a rut with your clothing style, I've been there myself.

I can't imagine in a million years my DP telling me he was 'bored' with seeing me in the clothes I wear.

And I certainly wouldn't be OK with it if he did.

As I said earlier, it's not 1953.

'I tell my wife that I think she looks nice in a dress'

That's a nice thing to say.

'and that she should consider wearing them more often.'

That's not such a nice thing to say, mainly because of the 'should'.

Giving someone a compliment on how they look in something (and maybe privately hoping they start wearing whatever it is more) is fine. Telling someone what they 'should' wear is really not on.

My DP wears a T-shirt and jeans with a hoodie/zip-up top all the time. He looks fine in them, but on the odd occasion when he wears jeans with a shirt he looks even better, IMO. I tell him he looks good in jeans and a shirt, and yes, I hope to myself that he might wear them more frequently. But I would never, not in a month of Sundays, SAY that to him.

He extends the same courtesy to me.

My DH sometimes says things like "You'd suit that..." if we see someone in a mag or on TV...but he loves clothes and so it's always in an interested way...not in a "I wish you'd wear dresses" way....if you look good in your tunics then you look good in them! The facct that you've found a look you suit shows you don't need his butting in to boost you confidence as someone suggested.

Million the thing is not ALL women give a shit if men find them sexy in trousers or not! I find most men find women sexy when they are naked mainly.

Oh and Million...I'm not single either.I wear what I like...that's the key to being "sexy" love....being comfortable.

Thanks for all the varied replies.
We are in an equal partnership and I really do feel he was expressing an opinion and looking out for my best interests - - the post was really more of a thinking piece about how far do you go to "please" (but I dont really mean please in the submissive way) your partner. I only like to see him wearing blue tops as it brings out the colour of his eyes and so mostly he wears and buys blue tops as he likes to please (see above commebt).
So really it's do I go out of my comfort zone slightly to respect his viewpoint, within a caring, non-controlling relationship.
Food for thought.

No....not really. There's a line where if you're compromising your comfort, then you don't need to go out of your zone.

My DH would probably llike it if I wore dressy and stylish stuff daily as he's just into that...but he totally accepts that I'm not and so wouldn't ever ask. Just as I wouldn't ask him to wear tight black tees even though I think they look great on him...he thinks he looks a bit like he's in West Side Story in them. (he does a bit...but that's a great look imo!)

Seriously? he almost always wears blue tops just because you think they match his eyes? and he is happy to go along with that?

Sorry but I think the blue tops thing is even stranger than him asking you to wear dresses. Just can't imagine it! But if that's how your relationship works, maybe he's not being so unreasonable after all.

OP isn't comfortable wearing dresses because she thinks they won't ever suit her body type. I agree with those who say she should try out different dresses and see if she finds some who flatter her body. I'm sure some dresses will.

Our DHs generally suggest things in good faith. I don't think its a good attitude to assume an innocent suggestion from your OH like "Why don't you wear dresses once in a while?" is a sign of oppression.

i.e. "Uncomfortable" in OP isn't like "I'm allergic to wool so I'm uncomfortable in wool dresses", in which case asking her to wear them would be totally unreasonable.

As one of the 'mad' posters from the wee small hours I was sharing my opinion that I like dresses, provided I am comfortable in them, and sharing my strategy for clothes buying.

Of course the OP should wear what she wants. Just meant she might like wearing a dress sometimes, if she found the right one.

Ex always looked like an old tramp, and never bought clothes for himself. It was, frankly, depressing looking at him, and I did mention that he looked far from fanciable. But this was just one of many reasons why he is now ex.
I don't think he even noticed what I was wearing, or gave me a compliment...sorry just rambling now.

Cote, I think a suggestion made 'in good faith' would sound something like 'That's a nice dress; do you think it'd suit you?'

NOT 'Why don't you wear dresses once in a while?'

OP, I'd say yes, why shouldn't we take our DPs views into account in the way we present ourselves IF it also makes us happy.

I bet a lot of women liked a lot of things about bringing up a family in the 1950s although it's probably terribly un PC to say so. You could argue that our current freedom to choose a career and earn money has turned into a lack of choice - many women find they have no choice but to work to support their family.

What I'm saying is, women being women and men being men Stepford wives style isn't a de facto oppressed and unfulfilling experience for females in real life. We're not either submissive hostess/cook/whores obeying every command OR mouthy intellectual uber feminists with a penchant for whiskey in the afternoon.

I think if you are in an equal partnership, and your DH is accommodating your preferences, then there's no harm in trying it out.

I don't see anything wrong in going 'slightly' out of one's comfort zone occasionally -- that's how we find new things.

I mean, the worst case scenario is you try on a few dresses, don't like them, and don't wear them. If it's not something your DH is using to control you, I don't see any harm in trying it.

Only if you want to though!

^So really it's do I go out of my comfort zone slightly to respect his viewpoint, within a caring, non-controlling relationship.
Food for thought.^

no

he's asking you to wear something that you find uncomfortable because it makes him happy.

My dh really likes me in dresses and while he wouldnt say I should wear one, I like to treat myself to a dress every now and again for say, his birthday meal or something.

I ALWAYS wear opaque tights with them and always wear them for dressy occassions not casual. I also always need knee length and top of arms covered.

Try Phase Eight for some lovely dresses. oh and Primark do a cheap spanx style shorts whixh I love amd really work!

FWIW I'd say my dress style is about 90% what I want to wear, and 10% taking my DH's tastes into account.

Some people might do 50/50, some people might do 0% for their partner. It's all fine, it's whatever you feel comfortable with.

"I think a suggestion made 'in good faith' would sound something like 'That's a nice dress; do you think it'd suit you?' NOT 'Why don't you wear dresses once in a while?'"

Have you never met a man?

Cote, what's your point?

OP - re dresses that flatter your body shape:

I've had that body after DS and before I started running. Dresses that worked had:
Geometrical or trompe l'oeil prints
Light colours above (around breasts) and dark colours below (waist & hips)
Not tight, definitely no belts