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Relationships

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Original poster

Can I ask about sex and wee? At the same time?

373 replies

PintandChips · 09/06/2012 21:32

In a new relationship - he has an 'interesting' sexul request. Am not sure about it. Can anyone advise if I am being totally prudish?

OP posts:

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 09/06/2012 23:31

Isn't piss really sterile or am I making it up?

dittany · 09/06/2012 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BonkeyMollocks · 09/06/2012 23:31

I'm sure pee is actually really clean. It wouldn't do you any harm to drink it.

Think Bear Grylls

doggiemumma · 09/06/2012 23:32

NEVER in the bedroom Vicar!! Think of the sheets!!! After 20 years together, there is nothing we can't talk about - id have struggled on a first date though

bogeyface · 09/06/2012 23:34

Doggie does your name mean that you do it against a lamp post? :o

I have to admit that in the OPs position I would assume he was joking and laugh then give him a flat "NO" when I realised he wasnt. To me it is a bit bleurgh, but then I really like certain sexual things that I know alot of women absolutely hate, each to their own.

The fact that she is happy to give it a go says to me that she is intrigued by the notion and would like to see how it goes. After all, she isnt going to get anything horrible is she? I suspect it would be a different matter if he wanted to pee on her, but as the pee-er she is in control and that makes all the difference.

Aslong as the OP is 100% happy that she is doing it to satisfy her own curiosity that he aroused (fnaaar) then I dont see the problem, as long as she updates :o

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 09/06/2012 23:35

How do you know this man isn't just searching for a woman who will perform his fetish ? He asked this on a first date so it would seem likely to me.

Reckon hes got issues to be honest .

dittany · 09/06/2012 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

perfumedlife · 09/06/2012 23:35

anonacfr I'm the same, youbrokemysmoulder had me in stitches Fling a potty of piss across the room at him.

Op the fact you've 'managed' ok vanilla sex speaks volumes. This is not a hot, passionate relationship. He is putting pressure on you and you people please.

Run a mile.

doggiemumma · 09/06/2012 23:36

Bogey does your name mean you have a snot fetish?

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 09/06/2012 23:37

Pee is not clean . Honest.

I have dipsticked plenty of it in my working life. And pee is most definetly not clean.

VashtiBunyan · 09/06/2012 23:37

It would be nice, if you are going to be in a relationship with this man, to actually have something sexually in common that you liked to experience together.

If you start weeing in his mouth, when you're not really into it, aren't you going to end up doing it numerous times, and isn't that going to stand in the way of having a relationship that has some genuine sexual connection?

Perriwinkle · 09/06/2012 23:38

I think everyone is missing the point here. The OP has sais that she has esteem issues and has a history of doing things simply to keep other people happy.

Just by saying that it's pretty clear to me that what she means is that the things she did didn't/don't make her happy.

There is a bigger issue here.

Given her history, rather than telling her to "give it a go", the OP should be receiving advice which empowers her to go with her gut feeling and find the strength to say that she doesn't want to do it. That will help to break the cycle of being a "pleaser", which has a negative impact on her own wellbeing in the longer term.

She'll never get anywhere in relationships if she carries on the way she is because "pleasers" always seem to be drawn like moths to a flame to the very worst sort of people to take advantage of them and mess with their heads.

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 09/06/2012 23:39

Am at Vics dog and pickle .

bogeyface · 09/06/2012 23:40

doggie Touché!

bogeyface · 09/06/2012 23:43

But the OP does seem to want to try it (after her subsequent posts anyway) and I got that she was just checking she wasnt a total freakazoid weirdo for considering it.

If she is only doing it incase he buggers off if she doesnt then I would advise her to say no and if he leaves then he was no loss. But I sense that the more she talked about it the more she was prepared to give it a go and see how she feels.

NannyPlumIsMyMum · 09/06/2012 23:44

periwinkle with the best will in the world - this is mumsnet on a Saturday night.

Not an NHS counselling service .

Plenty of posters have advised OP to assert herself - but ultimately if OP has self esteem issues , she is a grown woman that A) does not need patronising and B) is able to seek professional help for her self esteem issues if she so wishes.

doggiemumma · 09/06/2012 23:44

The way i see it, if she does this and she doesn't like it, it will probably change how she sees him anyway. I think the "people pleaser" in her is manifesting more in that she needed to check that it was ok actually.

Im not comfortable with the fact that he has been insistent, so maybe he isn't a keeper anyway

doggiemumma · 09/06/2012 23:47

Nannyplum - you read my mind and then posted my thoughts, i totally agree. My DP is totally flumoxxed that there is even a discussion about it. Everyone has their "thing" for some, its having sex in stockings and suspenders, for others its doing it with the light on, some people like wee - it doesn't make their weird, or sexual predators.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 09/06/2012 23:49

Well I don't think it would hurt to wait a while, you can see if he likes you enough to live without a pissy mouth first.

Although I do want an update.

cheesesarnie · 09/06/2012 23:52

do i want to ask what vanilla is???

sex plus wee = goodbye from me.

doggiemumma · 09/06/2012 23:53

vanilla is straight sex, no kinks sorry, bit disappointing really :) not a flavour of wee or anything.

BonkeyMollocks · 09/06/2012 23:53

vanilla is sex with no major kinky bits. I.e toys, wee, rope, handcuffs etc You get the idea :)

noddyholder · 09/06/2012 23:54

Agree with dittany.you dosoud like totally the wrong person for this and as a first date request you should run a mile

Perriwinkle · 09/06/2012 23:57

NannyPlumIsMyMum with the best will in the world, over the years I have seen many a person get patronised on Mumsnet.

With the best will in the world, the OP is desperate to please, will probably end up doing this simply to please and will also probably end up being left by this man and feeling like shit.

With the best will in the world, I am resigned to the fact that she will do it, will probably hate it (gut feelings are rarely wrong) but will keep on doing it in her eagerness and desperation to please.

I suppose everyone has a limit and my only hope is that the OP will know when she's reached hers. I just hope for her sake that she's not too screwed up when she comes to that realisation.

With the best will in the world, I tried to offer constructive advice.

Over and out.

fallenangle · 09/06/2012 23:58

From years ago I remember a chat room saying your kink is not necessarily my kink. If the OP is worried about doing something kinky she is worrying unnecessarily.

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