Am I being paranoid or could he be having an affair?

[MusicForTheMasses]

I think my husband may be having an affair. There are a number of reasons but nothing I can pinpoint. He had a promotion a few months ago and has started staying away from home on business trips, even though I am sure the person doing the job prior to him never did.

I can feel the distance between us and am always on edge. Partly I think (hope) it could be stress from his new job, but I don't think so.

I've noticed him texting a lot more these days (though not significantly, he has never really done this). I did something I thought I would never do earlier today and checked his phone, all his messages on there have been deleted both incoming and ougoing! He's a technophobe and theres a bit of me that thinks that deleting all his messages would be the only way he knows how to get rid of any incriminating ones.

I've noticed him having real hugs with the kids, not that he was ever a bad Dad but it's just as though he's making up for something.

I don't feel I can talk to someone IRL about this as to do it would be to admit something was wrong. We've just come back from holiday and should feel closer than ever, but I don't.

They deserve that and more, but you deserve to keep the high ground more

Keep posting on here Music and step away from the phone PLEASE!!!! xx

Good. You have the high ground at the moment - keep it that way. If you feel like saying stuff like that, then here is the place.

You do not want this bag of crap back in your life, but you want him to regret this - and he will. He will look back in a while, when he has realised that his OW is a human being who is unhappy with 'what he is and what he's brought to to the table' (cock all!), and that his children are hurting and that, after all, you are a really wonderful person (as you seem to be here) and he will see how dignified and kind you have been despite his behaviour.

That is the best revenge. Stay strong. Be angry, but don't show him that.

Thanks. I won't reply to him anymore, or her. On the plus-side, I can see I'm reaching the angry stage of the process lol. xx

Engaging in text arguments and insults will not improve your situation and simply make you even more a figure of their piss-taking than you already are

Don't be the "mad wife"

Just keep talking if you need to. Night time is the worst. It is trite but true, things do look better in the morning!

Chin up. You are doing so well xx

Just keep talking if you need to. Night time is the worst. It is trite but true, things do look better in the morning!

Chin up. You are doing so well xx

Next steps Music: I don't know your financial circumstances, but you might be entitled to tax credits as it is based solely on your income. Council tax too will be reduced if you are the only adult in the house. Set up arrangements for him paying maintenance and get it firmed up with a solicitor.

And tell everyone you need to, you deserve some RL support.

And tell everyone you need to, you deserve some RL support.

Take care, Music x

Keep posting

I've just read this entire thread - you are fantastic Music, i am in awe of you dignity and calm. Keep going stron! x x

Music, you are doing brilliantly. Look after yourself (so yes do step away from the phone.)

Sending you love and strength. You'll get through this xx

Take care Music. How arrogant of him to think he has ruined your life! You may feel dreadful now but I have a strong suspicion that losing this vain, lying jerk is in the long term going to enhance your life on a daily basis!

Awake. I was ok till one of my dc came in.

I'm awake music, just read ur whole thread and want to send u hugs. What a fucking prick he is.

Is ur dc upset? They have probably picked up on something hey.

Thanks. The DC are OK at the moment, they are used to him working away (hmmm).

He does not deserve u or your wonderful dc. I haven't been through this personally, but imagine it's horrific. I am a lone parent though with an ex dp that left us, so I know how hard it is trying to stay strong for them.

Do u think u could get away for s bit? Go stay with family/friends? Or have someone come and stay with you?

I had a friend offer to come over but I just want to be able to slob out and the kids will know something is up if I suddenly have someone here.

I had an email telling me what my step daughter had said on a forum about me (it was nice). It basically confirmed what I suspected and I think they got my email off my FB page. We have an unusual surname so easy to work out who I was iyswim. Anyway, she is now asking for the email address as her forum wants to know who dopped her in it but I feel I was to protect the person as they have protected me in a strange sort of way.

Yeah I understand about wanting to relax with the kids. Basically do whatever u want music, have a movie and pizza night with the kids, go v easy on yourself and be v v kind to yourself. X

I'm sorry, im so knackered I can't work out what ur second post means.. (have a v poorly dc. Currently up watching Kung Fu pandA) I'll hav a look tomo. Take care. Big hugs

Sorry choco, not sure it makes sense lol. My step daughter posted her own dilemma on a forum somewhere about the fact that H was going to leave me. Someone hunted me out (via FB I think) and sent me an email basically copying the post. It confirmed what I suspected that he was still planning to leave me (although he had created yet another lie with his Daughter and told her I knew!) Anyway, she wants the email of the person who told me but I feel I want to protect them as I would still be wondering if it wasn't for them.

Hope that makes sense now.

Can understand that music. Don't try to protect the children too much. They will likely know anyway, if they don't they should and I think it is better if you are all sad together and they understand how you feel.

I see. I understand where ur coming from with wanting to protect the emailer. Is ur step daughter upset that u were contacted by them? I can see she may feel a bit betrayed..

Glad u are close to ur stepdaughter in all this

Have told my kids schools this morning. Just holding on.