bertie - this is what makes it hard to believe yourself, hard to believe they really are that bad. You start to doubt yourself when things are like this, I must be imagining how awful it can be, it's all fine and I'm sure it'll continue to stay fine... But once you realise that, being aware of it and starting to see it from the outside instead of being stuck inside and confused as to what's happening, that's the start of you regaining yourself. Just try and stay aware.
Amitola am so sad for you, that you feel that way, you must be at rock bottom. I second the advice for Women's Aid - if you can't get through on the phone, can you send your local branch an email, outlining what you said above and with your phone number. I did that, I wasn't in a crisis situation though and it does sound like you could do with speaking to someone tonight.
Amitola's situation does kinda put mine in perspective, although I've been in pieces too today but it's nowhere near as desperate. Just desperately sad. 
I bumped into FWH (as he now is) at the local corner shop (my parents' house, where I am for now, is only a few minutes away from where we live. Lived.). All a bit awkward, but we had some strained chit-chat going round. I half wondered if my being there was preventing him from getting some booze (since he'd told me he was stopping drinking for the foreseeable), as all he bought was a bottle of Irn Bru. Anyway, outside the shop, right outside the door and in front of all the kids hanging about outside, he said 'I might as well tell you, I've decided we definitely need to sell the house.' Apparently, he's discussed it with other people, including his counsellor and his daughters, and they all think it's the way forward. He hasn't had a proper discussion with me, however, the other person on the mortgage. And apparently it's my fault, he can't be expected to hang around and wait for me to make my decision, and I'm not even trying to make any effort anyway. I tried to say stuff about how he wasn't thinking about my needs at all, he wasn't doing anything for me, he just looked a bit puzzled and said but it's got nothing to do with you. Eeeeexactly. He's now texted me to say how sorry he is that things have reached this point, he wants us to be together but he's under pressure from all angles (not sure where from exactly), and if I'm determined to stay apart then he has no choice. (Yes, because it's all about him, and I'm just being so fickle.)
I feel heartbroken all over again. He's got back the control. He's in the driving seat again, despite all his promises, that I believed. I don't know what to think tonight. Well, I do. I'm thinking about a large glass of vino when DS1 is in bed. Sooooon, I hope. 