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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating, Loitering and Sofa Surfing, It's All Happening! Dating Thread 16.

999 replies

TimeForMeAndDD · 02/06/2012 21:17

In continuation from previous thread:

Watch do not talk exclusivity until you have assessed the contents of his trouser department after the 5th date. Only after you have assessed the contents of his trouser department the 5th date do you decide whether or not the willy he is worth the commitment.

And yes, of course you go on Friday!! What on earth are you thinking woman! Today you were the BOSS of a coconut shy, a few of his friends will be nothing compared to that!

I've got to go make coffee, I've just watch Paying it Forward and I am in bits! BITS!

OP posts:
Original poster
TimeForMeAndDD · 07/06/2012 18:25

OMG!! Shock The 'L' word. On the dating thread. Said by Lubey! OMG!

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 07/06/2012 18:27

Hello snape :o

totally with you and watch on the whole gush thing btw

Original poster
TimeForMeAndDD · 07/06/2012 18:28

I am beginning to feel a little bit worried, all this 'love' stuff happening with lubey and watch, hardened single laydeez. I mean, what if it's catching!!

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 07/06/2012 18:32

Don't worry Time he won't be moving in or anything. In fact we seem to be seeing each other for a day or a few days every week to ten days ish, and that is perfect. I miss him but I'm glad I can close my front door and slob out in my slippers and leggings :o best of both worlds. heh

Original poster
TimeForMeAndDD · 07/06/2012 18:40

Phew!

Sounds perfect Lubey Grin

OP posts:
hatesponge · 07/06/2012 19:03

Lubey that's great :)

MLM Post's right I am a solicitor (though not in criminal law but have some friends who are in that area). Will be happy to help if I can, firstly I would say think about what aspect of criminal law you want to do, I'm getting the feeling you might be leaning more towards the CPS/prosecution side than criminal defence. The Defence side is pretty seedy tbh, friends who do it have to represent some very unsavoury characters, that can include attending meetings in prison & stuff, a bit grim...

There are lots of informal routes into law. You could look to study part time, ILEX (Institute of Legal Execs) or something like that, or maybe even look to do foundation studies to lead onto a law degree (I know someone who has done their law degree PT while working, it's hard but can be done). You could contact CAB, or a local law centre who may have oportunities for you to do some sort of voluntary stuff to get involved and find out what goes on. It might also be possible to talk to lawyers who work there, find out some more about areas of law etc. If I can be any more help just let me know - PM me if you prefer.

MyLittleMiracles · 07/06/2012 20:25

Thank you so much sponge I am definitely into the prosecution side of things. And I just want to be working in law not stuck in a classroom with text books. I know that's the right path for some but not for me. I am happy to do anything voluntary, so long as it gets me to where I dream to be. I can touch type. :)

ChildofIsis · 07/06/2012 22:11

Most men love a 'gusher' apparently!

Also 'mr saturday date' loves to kiss and has a very long tongue like me.
I can't wait to get to grips with it, so to speak!

hatesponge · 07/06/2012 22:41

door man has a girlfriend :(

I did some digging on FB.

She is a sodding glamour model and very VERY pretty. I was right, he was FAR too good looking for me. What a joke to think he might in any way have fancied me. I must be absolutely mad.

:( :(

hatesponge · 07/06/2012 22:47

I honestly cannot believe what a pathetically stupid fool I am.

Why would I ever think a man like that would look twice at me?

I should know my level, men who are already attached and are looking for a bit on the side, or total wasters like the one at the weekend. That's the best I can expect.

HauntedLittleLunatic · 07/06/2012 22:49

Oh no sponge.

It is absolutely gutting when you find that out via fb digging. Been there done that.

I set someone at an event an hour away from where I live. I really liked him. Found out he lives 5min drive from me. Found out he was doing same uni course as me a few months later. Found out that we are practically same age. Found out we had mutual friends in common. It felt like fate.

There was quite a bit of mutual but mild flirting (friends opinion - not just in my head). Then he asked me to be fb friend (i was honoured cos I was only one he asked from my course).

First thing I saw on his fb was his gf posting a really trashy lovey dovey Xmas card and I was gutted.

I backed off from the flirting but he carried on for a bit so I was still hopeful. He then quit uni course :( still fb friends tho in case he ever dumps gf :)

On second thoughts I have since seen him in a Kermit costume so maybe not quite so keen now :o

hatesponge · 07/06/2012 22:56

It gets worse.

Her profile is completely open. Loads of photos of them looking deliriously happy. Of their DC, who is completely gorgeous.

And their bloody dog which is exactly the same dog I was going to get my DSs this summer.

I should stop looking, but I can't, even though it's actually making me feel sick (with disappointment, despair and disgust at myself for being so utterly and unbelieveably thick. Honestly when will I learn my level and stick to it?)

hatesponge · 07/06/2012 23:12

I'll have to find someone else to do my house now, I can't face him after so nearly making a fool of myself. What was I thinking? I can't get a second date with any old twat lowlife off POF, why on earth would someone like him be interested in a boring, overweight middleaged woman? How fucking deluded am I to think I might have something with a man like him when even crap men don't want me?

I cannot believe my own stupidity.

MyLittleMiracles · 07/06/2012 23:12

sponge it always feels to me like I long for someone I cant have and if you had found him first, he would be with you, so don't put yourself down YOU ARE GORGEOUS any man should be glad to have you.

ChaoticismyLife · 07/06/2012 23:14

sponge sorry to hear doorman has a girlfriend Sad Please stop putting yourself down, you are a very attractive woman, remember what you overheard at the weekend. The man who said that was not just saying it, he meant it. Obviously it wasn't meant to be with doorman but that doesn't mean he was 'above your level'. Your level is right at the top, you deserve the best and one day you'll find him.

mercury7 · 07/06/2012 23:15

I know it's gutting Sponge but we've all done things like that, you just gotta put it behind you.
If she models then I guess she's photogenic, photogenic isnt always the same as attractive, lots of gorgeous people just dont photograph well, and vice versa.

Anyway, it doesnt matter, he's in the past, a fleeting crush, I've had loads, better to find out sooner rather than later :)

MirandaWest · 07/06/2012 23:17

Oh sponge it's not fair :(

But it's not that you're stupid. And you haven't made a fool of yourself at all.

hatesponge · 07/06/2012 23:23

His girlfriend is a model. I could never be a model in a million years, not without extensive and expensive plastic surgery. I think that's fair proof I was setting my sights too high and being foolish. God, if you could only see how pretty she is and how happy they look in every picture. I've never had a man look at me like that.

This just feels like the straw that broke the camel's back :( Yet more proof I will be on my own forever. Well, I've done 4 years, what's another 40 or so...

notsurewhyohwhy · 07/06/2012 23:24

snape - what does LTR mean?

I have had 2 long term bf and they both started off as ons too Blush and were also quite crap relationships with no trust on my part!!

MyLittleMiracles · 07/06/2012 23:30

sponge it always feels to me like I long for someone I cant have and if you had found him first, he would be with you, so don't put yourself down YOU ARE GORGEOUS any man should be glad to have you.

MyLittleMiracles · 07/06/2012 23:33

And I still hope my mum (65) will find herself someone and she has been single 22 years, 23 come October since dad died. So don't give up. There is someone out there for you. ((((hugs)))) cos you need them.

ChaoticismyLife · 07/06/2012 23:41

LTR = Long Term Relationship, I assume.

sponge I can understand you feeling gutted but you can't let it get to you. Give yourself a bit of time then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and remind yourself that any man would be lucky to be with you. Doorman wasn't meant to be but that doesn't mean you'll be alone forever.

hatesponge · 07/06/2012 23:41

MLM, thats really kind, I used to believe there was someone out there, but the more time passes, I'm not so sure any more. Some people are just meant to be on their own and unhappy, and it looks increasingly like I'm one of them.

mercury7 · 07/06/2012 23:52

gah no one is 'meant' to be anything!
And relationships are not the only source of happiness..dont write your life off so quickly:)

hatesponge · 08/06/2012 00:05

Depends whether or not you believe in fate, or free will doesn't it. I am in the former camp (unfortunately).

And for me, I can get by on my own, I have for most of my life. But the only time I was ever really happy was in a (good) relationship. I won't ever be really happy until I have that again, and frankly theres no chance of that happening.

I really don't think anyone can say anything that could make this better sorry. I probably need to take my misery away from the thread with me, to quote Four Weddings (which I first saw when I was young and believed in happy ever afters) I need to be where people are not.