Being drink does not mean you deserve it.

[OhNoMyFanjo]

I have been reading some comments on tge DM site re an interview with a women who was raped. Her rapist has just been convicted. She has had many terrible things said about her in her community due to the rapist being a pillar of tge community.

I wanted to share this comment that someone has made as it sums up what should be obvious to everyone but unfortunately there are some people who don't get it.

You don't get raped because you are drunk - you vomit because you are drunk. You get raped because the rapist standing next to you made the decision to rape you and acted on it. The rapist is the only one accountable for going on to rape a person. End.

Only going to carry on posting if it is all right with HerRoyale.

The fact that you are wilfully misunderstanding, Bumbley, is that being drunk has no bearing on whether you are raped or not. It is not a causal factor - one day the scales of victim blaming may magically fall from your eyes and you will see that the only causal factor in a rape is a rapist.

To say anything else is victim blaming.

We could all wear burkhas, Blackout? Would that help at all?

After all, countries where all the women never drink alcohol and wear burkhas have eliminated rape, haven't they? Oh, wait... no they haven't.

I hope that makes sense, sorry, it's just a bit traumatic writing it.

Bumbly, why don't you complain about the pathetic rape sentencing rather than victim blaming.

I haven't said its a causal factor running. I've made that very clear. I have never said that being drunk causes you to be raped. Repeating your false accusations over and over do not make them true.

Nope as burkhas don't help do they

So lets control mens behaviour, after all its seems to a few posters that its ok to controls womens

That's my point Bumbley, what is victim blaming isn't an opinion, neither are the feature of rape as a crime. I think after reading the description of victim blaming you saw why what you said was victim blaming and reverted to "I'm not saying it was your fault" which is missing the point.

Bumbley - you said being drunk makes you more vulnerable to some rape. That is saying choice to drink is a causal factor in some rape (you are confusing the cause with causal factor).

Hrh, I do think that rape sentencing is ridiculous and tbh I think that is one of the things tht needs to be addressed. I would like to think that harsher sentences would discourage rapists but then people still commit murder even when there is a risk of a life sentence or the death penalty (in certain countries) I'm not sure if there is any one thing tht is going to work.

I'm going to ignore your 'victim blaming' comment because I've addressed that several times already.

No Offred, that is not the same thing. I'm not sure why you can't see that.

YOu obviously missed this first time around Bumbley, so I'll repeat it for you. Your posts were victim blaming - you know, I know it, everyone reading this thread knows it. You had a load of posts deleted - I reported them for victim blaming and MNHQ responded.

Blackout, good idea.

Amillion, it is YOUR choice.

Believe me when I say I've heard worse.

That's fine running. I know I'm not victim blaming so don't really care what you think. I don't need to defend myself. You feel free to think what you like. I know you're wrong.

ok,i am going to be gentle.
I am talking specifically about situations like the op was talking about.
step 1.Would people agree that the woman lost some control of her own personal situation when she got drunk?

causal factor - a determining or causal element or factor; "education is an important determinant of one's outlook on life"

You are not saying being drunk is the reason someone is raped, you are saying it is a causal factor because it makes you more vulnerable.

amillionyears, I beg you not to add your voice to the victim blamers on this thread. It is so so damaging.

Please think about what you are saying about alcohol, rape and causality. Read through the thread again. Only a rapist can cause a rape.

HerRoyale Don't you dare start blaming yourself!!!

He was the sick bastard who decided to do that. Him!

((hugs))

Bumbley, it's not what I think, it's what MNHQ think.

HTH.

Bumbley don't take our word for it, google victim blaming and educate yourself, although I'm starting to worry about your English comprehension abilities.

Time for this again?

Amillionyears - no, I don't think being drunk necessarily means you lose control of a rape situation. The rapist is always in control of that no matter whether you are drunk or not.

amillion, I know what our saying and a lot of people do agree with you. The majority on this thread will not let you even make that suggestion though because they can't separate the idea of vulnerability and guilt/blame. They will keep trotting out their sound bite (even when you acknowledge it because it is blatantly obvious) and they will accuse of saying/feeling things that you on't. honestly, it's not worth it.

Unless you are saying being drunk is the reason someone is raped Bumbley?