Being drink does not mean you deserve it.

[OhNoMyFanjo]

I have been reading some comments on tge DM site re an interview with a women who was raped. Her rapist has just been convicted. She has had many terrible things said about her in her community due to the rapist being a pillar of tge community.

I wanted to share this comment that someone has made as it sums up what should be obvious to everyone but unfortunately there are some people who don't get it.

You don't get raped because you are drunk - you vomit because you are drunk. You get raped because the rapist standing next to you made the decision to rape you and acted on it. The rapist is the only one accountable for going on to rape a person. End.

I was on that sex whilst asleep thread too Caillin - some of the posts there made me sick to my very stomach. The amount of denial when it comes to rape, victim blaming and consent can be truly breathtaking.

What do+es, amybabes3 ?

It's alright amybabes - I've just seen some of your other posts tonight, and realised that you are not worth engaging with. Isn't it past your bedtime?

Pissing myself laughing.

To any rape survivors, it was not your fault, at all.

why?

Ooh round 4 already?

Cailin you're amazingly brave xxx

Ignore ignore ignore....

Bye bye amybabes

Bloody hell that was fast

MNHQ are on the button tonight!

They've got the big gun :o

[Wine] for hq

Wow! Missed something here apparently!

I am curious as to whether all those who say people should not modify their behaviour are going to encourage their own children to get falling down drunk and say that is fine behaviour? I will say again that getting drunk off your face is not clever and not fine and makes you vulnerable to all sorts of accidents and criminal behaviour. It is just a plain fact. Look at the A&E wards on a Saturday night; full of drunks who have had accidents or been in fights.

Also, for those who always claim that saying you cannot do anything to mitigate risk, do you not get statistics at all? Of course, staying sober cannot protect you from being raped by an acquaintance or friend. Nor can staying sober or crossing the road when I see a vicious looking gang guarantee that I or my children won't be robbed or mugged. But what it will do is reduce the statistical risk of it happening and, even if that is by a small amount, I think it is still worth teaching sensible behaviour.

So, really, are all of you teaching your children that they should NEVER modify their behaviour to make them as safe as possible from crime (note: that is not 100% safe, that is never doable)? Is your message with respect to all crime, we need to stop criminals from committing crime, not protect ourselves? Are you going to leave your doors unlocked because a locked door will not protect you from a determined burglar and some burglars might even assume that the better protection, the more goodies are locked inside?

I just don't get why some feminists confuse the idea of trying to be as safe as possible with victim blaming. And always add that the fact that you cannot make yourself 100% safe means that it is never worth being sensible at all. Where is the "rape myth" in that? Is it really a fact that you are statistically exactly as likely to be raped 100% sober as off-your-face drunk. Frankly, I doubt it. If it is true, I would love to see the stats that show it.

Larry read the thread or Google rape myths.
It has been explained on the 35 pages on here

Larry, if you read the thread then you will see I've already answered this. I'm not a feminist, I'm not going to teach my children to get blind drunk, I'm going to teach them it is bad for their health and I'm not going to teach them there are rapists on every corner that will rape them if they get drunk.

Alcohol being involved in rape doesn't equate to staying sober protects your from rape, that is a rape myth which we have also explained on this thread a million times if you read.

Larry if you fall over because you drank, or you start a fight because you drank you did thatt. If you are raped and you had a drink they did that. Saying if only you had drank you wouldn't have been raped is victims blaming. Or is it ok for someone to have sex with you because you've had a drink?

*if only you hadnt had a drink

Larry - rapists get you drunk, drug you, manipulate your trust, very occasionally use weapons or threats of violence to make you vulnerable. Alcohol will therefore be involved in a lot of rapes but not normally alcohol that the victim has knowingly and willingly consumed in those cases the alcohol is an insignificant and irrelevant part of the crime because the rape is about power and control and the rapist will still need to take actions to exert power and control. Sometimes being drunk under your own control will make you a much harder target because your trust is less easily manipulated and you are less predictable - you can't be convinced a drunk person won't fight or that you will be able to exert control over their behaviour using manipulation. If you have been in control of the alcohol consumption that is part of the control element of rape.

Even if you are getting so drunk you are passing out as explained further up the thread the rapist still needs to be involved and to exert some control. That may be hanging out with you all night watching you get blotto, finding you a place to pass out and then having sex with you while you are passed out because they are angry you drank too much...

Everyone else will have seen a caring and put upon boyfriend because that is how he set it up to look whilst isolating the woman and taking her to a place/waiting for her to go to a place where he could punish her.

"Alcohol being involved in rape doesn't equate to staying sober protects your from rape, that is a rape myth which we have also explained on this thread a million times if you read."

That statement is where you show a stunning lack of understanding of basic statistics. It is the same as saying that plenty of fit healthy people who watch their diets and exercise regularly have heart attacks. Therefore, you might as well eat what you like, as you cannot prevent a heart attack.