Being drink does not mean you deserve it.

[OhNoMyFanjo]

I have been reading some comments on tge DM site re an interview with a women who was raped. Her rapist has just been convicted. She has had many terrible things said about her in her community due to the rapist being a pillar of tge community.

I wanted to share this comment that someone has made as it sums up what should be obvious to everyone but unfortunately there are some people who don't get it.

You don't get raped because you are drunk - you vomit because you are drunk. You get raped because the rapist standing next to you made the decision to rape you and acted on it. The rapist is the only one accountable for going on to rape a person. End.

If there is a rapist hanging around waiting for his victim who is he more likely to pick - the sober women walking home in a group or the woman staggering home drunk by herself?

He's more than 80% likely to pick someone he knows. Maybe it's best to only talk to strangers?

It's an example plenty but for the sake of argument - who is more vulnerable? The woman he knows who is sober or the woman he knows who is very drunk?

bumbleymummy indeed, if all women and girls would just stay indoors and have no associations with men whatsoever then I'm sure they would be less likely to get raped, good plan.

Garlic, it's not meant that way, but rather that a rapist or a mugger goes out and selects his victim somehow.
In most cases it's the most vulnerable person.

If said criminal has a thing for you specifically, then your behaviour has less impact because he will stalk you or work you until you are... Wait for it... Vulnerable.

Most rapes are committed by rapist who already know their victims.

I think that the incidence rates of domestic rape (within a sexual relationship) are massively under reported, and the magnitude of this is yet to be understood.

I may be biased from personal experience but I believe that within the above context, a significant amount of rape victims are in bed with their partners when raped, and that their right to say no, or to give or deny consent was considered irrelevent by their rapist who either seeks to confuse, shame and control, or does not believe the woman still holds autonomy over her own body.

Lemarche, no one is saying that anyone deserves to be raped or assaulted because they are drunk.

No, bumble, you're missing the point or I failed to explain in enough detail. The rapist's actions are ALL determined by his own fantasy.

If no-one ever got drunk, presumably drunk women wouldn't feature in any rapists' fantasies. They'd go for brunettes coming out of church or something - he's got to have attainable victims for his crime & fantasy.

It is NOT an opportunistic crime.

In most cases it's the most vulnerable person.

Simply untrue.

Gobblers - would you like to engage in a proper discussion or do you just want to twist my words and give ridiculous examples?

YY, Lemarchand, thanks!

Lemar, I'll say it again:

The victim never deserves it or is to blame.

But we can do things that can help prevent it happening.

I think that's quite a simple idea.

He's more than 80% likely to pick someone he knows. Maybe it's best to only talk to strangers?

"Gobblers - would you like to engage in a proper discussion"

Not really, because you are massively missing the point

The thing you can do to help prevent it, Lueji, is learn to fight. I'm happy to hear you are doing so.

Simply untrue.

And that proves you point, of course. :)

Focusing on the title of the thread - no - being drunk does not mean you deserve it.

I was raped when I was 17, after being in a night club full of drunken women. I hadn't drunk any alcohol, I hadn't taken any drugs, I was not wearing a revealing outfit or walking down a dark path alone. I am tall and strong, so won't have been viewed as an easy target.

Those of you who believe that not drinking offers you some kind of protection are kidding yourselves. Rape is about power and control, not about normal sexual desires. Rapists don't just thing 'Oh I fancy a shag, who can I get one off most easily'. They want to subdue and overpower you.

Garlic - who is more able to fight off a rspist? A sober or a drunk person?

Gobblers, I don't think I'm missing the point. I simply disagree with it.

You can wander the streets naked and pissed as a fart and you will not get raped unless you happen to come across a RAPIST. Nice, normal men do not take advantage of drunk women.

bumbley - that is classic victim blaming! You are drunk so you can't fight of the rapist but you might have been able to if sober?

Lemarche, I'm not saying (and I don't think others are either) that not drinking/walking down dark alleys/walking home alone means that you are never at risk of bring raped. They just take some opportunities out of the equation.

Genuine question - This is how I tried to explain it to a friend and want to check Im making sense:

That women dont get raped because they are vulnerable, the vulnerability is something which exists only in the rapists mind as part of the scenario he casts her in - so if she is alone in the garden in broad daylight she is not safer than a drunk woman staggering home because he isn't there when the drunk girl is staggering home. He is there when the woman is alone in the garden and plays that in his mind as a vulnerability which justifies his raping her.

Now is that utter bollocks or does that make sense?????