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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this bad and should I leave?

226 replies

isitasbadasithink · 27/05/2012 18:13

Hi I am hoping one of you lovely ladies can help with a dilemma I am having.

I have been with my dp for 5 years and have a 10 month old ds. The relationship isn't that great, he is pretty lazy and can be verbally abusive sone of the time (by which I mean telling me to fuck off or calling me a cunt etc). On top of that he has always had a higher sex drive than me and I have often given in to having sex with him at least 3 times a week to keep the peace ( he sulks or calls me frigid if I don't). I know just reading that back how bad that sounds by the way :-(.

This afternoon due to the fact I have been wearing a bikini he has kept groping me and telling me he can't wait to get me alone. When I was in the bedroom I agreed to sex to kind of get it over and done with and to avoid an argument. During the act it started really hurting as it often does and I told him to stop. He told me he was to close to finishing and continued with me struggling for about 20 seconds or so. When it was over he said he was angry at me for making it look like he was the bad person for continuing and stormed out of the room.

I feel numb and maybe I am over reacting. It probably was hard for him to stop but why do I feel so violated? Does anyone have any advice on what I should do now? I would be ever so grateful.

OP posts:
Yummymummyyobe1 · 28/05/2012 17:04

Good luck and stay safe. If you can change your number as he can still contact you as things stand. Perhaps a pay as you go sim as there is no contract and they are harder to trace. xx

ThoughtBen10WasBadPokemonOMG · 28/05/2012 17:07

well done OP

Shinyshoes1 · 28/05/2012 17:09

Good luck x

InstructionsToTheDouble · 28/05/2012 17:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Lueji · 28/05/2012 17:22

Wishing you all the best.

spooktrain · 28/05/2012 17:26

Thinking of you so much

mumandtwo · 28/05/2012 17:42

Brave girl!!! Well done if you have left and I think you probably have now that you have had everyone's advice on here. Sometimes when you are in the middle of your situation it's so hard to see it for what it is. Very glad that you turned to mumsnet for advice and that everyone has been so supportive to you. Sending you a BIG HUG!!!! XXXXXXXXXX We all thinking of you......

NatalieJane · 28/05/2012 17:43

Wow, so many likenesses to my own situation about a month ago - even down to his job!! My thread is www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1458186-What-to-do-EA-SA-Legal-advice-needed-as-well-please-warning-it-is-extremely-long (I had namechanged obviously).

I have to go and do dinner (hadn't realised the time) so am out of time, but thought some of the advice/support might help you if you get chance to read it.

I can say, it was all worth it, have never felt better! Grin

Will keep checking your thread till you're back - good luck!

Flisspaps · 28/05/2012 17:44

Best of luck OP - you're not alone. You've got Mumsnet behind you!

NotMostPeople · 28/05/2012 17:49

Good luck.

AllOverIt · 28/05/2012 17:51

Thinking of you and sending lots of love. Stay safe xx

readyforno2 · 28/05/2012 17:52

Well done. So brave. Best of luck

NatashaBee · 28/05/2012 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raindropsinmyhair · 28/05/2012 17:57

Good luck and keep safe, thinking of you and your little boy xx

xTonixxx · 28/05/2012 19:32

Dear OP,

wishing you the very best of luck xxx

beatofthedrum · 28/05/2012 19:39

Well done OP, you are being so brave and strong, we are thinking of you and will keep checking back to hear how you are. Good luck xxxx

HandMadeTail · 28/05/2012 20:02

Well done, isitasbadasithink.

I'm so pleased you had your chance to go. Good luck. Smile

BonzoDooDah · 28/05/2012 21:01

Well done and wishing you well. Brave woman. The first great step for you and your son's new future. Be brave and strong.

carernotasaint · 28/05/2012 21:14

Ive only just caught this thread and wanted to wish you and your child well OP. You are NOT weak you are incredibly brave. Good luck xx

doormat · 28/05/2012 21:18

this thread has made me cry sending you hugs xxxThanks

queenofthepirates · 28/05/2012 22:15

Tell us you're ok OP! Sending you a big hug tonight xxx

Follyfoot · 28/05/2012 22:21

Am crying and smiling all at the same time for you. You brave brave woman xxx

BustersOfDoom · 28/05/2012 22:30

Hope you're ok OP and that you remembered to turn off the tracker on your phone!! Best of luck xxx

Leverette · 28/05/2012 23:01

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bogeyface · 29/05/2012 00:33

Anyone else who wont sleep quite soundly until we know she is ok?

I am so pleased she was going but I am so desperately worried and I wont stop until she posts again.

Thinking of you Isitasbad, take care xx

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