Should I even be bothering with this or ditching him?

[BoredRoom]

I have a fairly new boyfriend, have been seeing him for 4/5 months. He lives alone, no kids and I see him around 2 or 3 times a week. Taking it slowly I suppose but several things bother me - this is one of them.

I have child free weekends but we NEVER spend the whole night together. He will come here or I will go there and we watch a film , have sex and then I come home. Usually at about 11pm as he likes to be in bed around then as he has an early start due to a consuming weekend hobby that he usually does on both days of the weekend. The reason I don't stay is because he likes 8 hours of full uninterrupted sleep and me next to him disturbs this.

I feel a bit weird about this. I mean, it's not normal to have a boyfriend and never sleep the whole night together is it? I haven't really said anything although he probably knows I think it's a little unusual. And anyway, what is the point? He would more than likely 'let' me stay but it wouldn't have been his choice would it?

There are other issues too but that, for now, is the one currently bugging me.

I've just been reading your other thread BR, and 100% support your stance on the issues with your DD and the taxi firm.

I will use this thread however to highlight to you a thing or two. You stated on the taxi thread that you didn't think this driver was grooming, that it didn't feel like this to you.

This GolfBore thread clearly shows that your judgement of men is off, at best, and that you are susceptible to emotionally warped individuals.

Dump this guy, once and for all, and focus on your DD issue. Once that is sorted, take some time out to understand why your nature blindsides you against these truly disfunctional beings.

The taxi driver IS a wrong un, and this GolfBore is too.

you have a lot going on, and that is really crappy, but you are not alone and you will get through it all.

(((HUGS))))

Thanks all!

I actually am - believe it or not - a happy, sorted person. Some of you on this thread know me in real life [ eeek! ] and would probably confirm that [ if i twist their arms

Men have always been a problem for me in general. I am attracted to a specific type I suppose and often end up reverting to type over and over again.

nursebernard - that was very good indeed.

Well, I enjoyed the film last night but felt awkward in his company, probably because this is going through my mind. We came out of the cinema, got in the car and he exclaimed at how late it was [ 11pm ] - and we went back to his and had a herbal tea and then i went home as it was 11.45 and tee off was early this morning. he said he'd pop over this evening.

great.

FFS you don't even like him. Just get rid.

Why not tell him you are busy tonight? Why bother?

truthfully I think once you find yourself thinking like this at all - your relationship isn't what you want and you should finish.. I think if your attitude was oh this is just one thing that is slightly odd but kind of amusing etc and it didn't bother you that's one thing, but it does bother you, clearly. So my advice would be finish it now - don't waste months more wondering about it - and hope you'll find a really good relationship very soon

god, why bother with him? He sounds like a total bore! Herbal tea, sending you home because he likes his own bed, it sounds like you are dating a maiden aunt!

Seriously, why bother?

Come on, seize the initiative and just tell him not to bother coming over tonight as you've better things to so.

I'm working up to it.

I really liked him though ; ( Thought he'd be right for me < Although don't press me right now on why I thought this .... )

Bored,

Re an earlier comment of yours:-
"Men have always been a problem for me in general. I am attracted to a specific type I suppose and often end up reverting to type over and over again".

There's your answer.

Now why is that?. This is something you are now going to have to think about very carefully and it likely stems from your own childhood relationship, or more likely a lack of, with your Dad. If you do not address this properly through counselling to unravel it you will keep making these types of relationship errors over and over again. You need to consider what you learnt about relationships when growing up; a lot of damaging stuff got imparted to you didn't it?.

Your own relationship radar needs more work, a lot more work.

Well, I had a perfectly normal childhood and have a good relationship with my parents but yes, the issues stem from there undoubtedly. I can't have counselling though - it doesn't work for me as my brain is just not receptive to it.