Should I even be bothering with this or ditching him?

[BoredRoom]

I have a fairly new boyfriend, have been seeing him for 4/5 months. He lives alone, no kids and I see him around 2 or 3 times a week. Taking it slowly I suppose but several things bother me - this is one of them.

I have child free weekends but we NEVER spend the whole night together. He will come here or I will go there and we watch a film , have sex and then I come home. Usually at about 11pm as he likes to be in bed around then as he has an early start due to a consuming weekend hobby that he usually does on both days of the weekend. The reason I don't stay is because he likes 8 hours of full uninterrupted sleep and me next to him disturbs this.

I feel a bit weird about this. I mean, it's not normal to have a boyfriend and never sleep the whole night together is it? I haven't really said anything although he probably knows I think it's a little unusual. And anyway, what is the point? He would more than likely 'let' me stay but it wouldn't have been his choice would it?

There are other issues too but that, for now, is the one currently bugging me.

I've just gone back to your previous thread OP and the advice there still stands! Why on earth have you let this relationship drag on as long as it has? I suppose it's a good way of keeping up your weekly mackerel intake...

mooncup - im vegetarian...

Bored, if you don't want to give it up entirely, view him as an FWB (it seems to be how he views you).
Don't get drawn into his (egotistical) world view. Enjoy the bits you enjoy and don't ponder the rest. It's not really going places is it (and why on earth would you want it to!).

and it drags on because i keep thinking im imagining this stuff. maybe its a normal relationship? its 'normal' to watch a film. Admittedly, he watches it sat upright with his arms folded across his chest but i can hardly complain about that can i? sometimes he will sit and hold my hand

Have you posted this before?

Do you both get yourselves undressed before sex standing either side of the bed?

are you a "radiant" person usually?

look, I was just going on what you said "He will come here or I will go there and we watch a film , have sex and then I come home"

That's all we can go on, when someone asks for opinions - what they say.

you must be getting something out of it (even just a recurrent topic to post about) or you would have dumped him.

Exactly how amazing in bed is he?

There's a back story to this GolfGuy? Oh we need a LINK... PLEEEEEEASE?

Dare you to buy chocolate body paint and refuse to go to bed without it

Well, that's my theory down the drain

Seriously, OP, wouldn't you have a better night in by yourself with cake, wine, and a vibrator? You could even watch movies you actually wanted to!!

Oh. my. lord.

You are not imagining this love! this guy is BARKING... no he's DAGENHAM MAD
(3 tube stops past Barking)

I meant getting undressed standing either side of the bed, not having sex standing either side of the bed.

< boggles at image that has just hopped into brain >

He sounds awful.

Boring, judgemental, no fun, hypercritical, already making you feel bad about yourself, taking what he wants from the 'relationship' ...

Yup. Dump.

You ARE peripheral. And given the 'we have had sex, now I am going to BEAM out silent signals that I WANT YOU TO GO NOW' thing, I would say that you are peripheral in not a very good way.

I am a man, so am offering a male perspective.

Ditch.

I will go against the trend and say that he actually appears harmless. He isnt too keen on committing himself because maybe the relationship is casual. Having opinions on fat people is not wierd, everybody has an axe to grind against social issues. OP, is the relationship going to get serious or not ?

Dump the mustard!

In fact mustard is MUCH spicier than this cold plate of boiled rice.
He is not a GIVING person, is he? not a SHARING, GENEROUS, person.

Two years time, what memories would you be looking back on if you stayed together. You saw lots of films you dont like, had lots of vanilla sex and maybe were allowed to carry his golf towel in a very important match once.

YOU ARE MORE INTERESTING THAN THAT!!!

He reminds me a bit of a guy a went out with 11 years ago (although my ex seemed a bit nicer when he was actually in my company)

He wanted a girlfriend but had no intention of it being a long term thing (serial monogamist).. and there was no way that it would take up more time than he was prepared to give .. i.e a Tuesday night and a Saturday through to a Sunday were my allocated slots .. his life was packaged up neatly in compartments

That would be fine if that's all you wanted OP but as it sounds like you want someone you can be yourself with (someone who only runs a couple of times a week, eats cake and likes a different kind of film) and someone who will be more interested in you than his hobby so I don't think this one is for you and it's best to ditch

Oh yes I remember this one. havent you posted about him before ?
He was really boring then too wasn't he ?

he gets undressed for sex on the other side of the bed from you and folds his clothes up first if I remember rightly ?

Jeez are you still with him after the slating he got last time lol

I'm like the weird boxroom troll.

OK, I hear ya. time to sort it out.

at carrying his golf towel

Where is the link?

Huh?

Huh?

Bored, there ARE nice men out there but this isn't one of them. It took me a long time to find mine.
Get rid of this selfish niblick and you can start looking again. Better luck next time.

Bored he sounds boring rather than being a sinister control freak and an arse.

I've been seeing someone since christmas and we've never watched a film together so far. All our time is spent chatting, laughing, eating lovely food, sometimes drinking stupid amounts of wine and lots of cuddling through the night.

If you like him tell him what you want and if not ditch him.