Should I even be bothering with this or ditching him?

[BoredRoom]

I have a fairly new boyfriend, have been seeing him for 4/5 months. He lives alone, no kids and I see him around 2 or 3 times a week. Taking it slowly I suppose but several things bother me - this is one of them.

I have child free weekends but we NEVER spend the whole night together. He will come here or I will go there and we watch a film , have sex and then I come home. Usually at about 11pm as he likes to be in bed around then as he has an early start due to a consuming weekend hobby that he usually does on both days of the weekend. The reason I don't stay is because he likes 8 hours of full uninterrupted sleep and me next to him disturbs this.

I feel a bit weird about this. I mean, it's not normal to have a boyfriend and never sleep the whole night together is it? I haven't really said anything although he probably knows I think it's a little unusual. And anyway, what is the point? He would more than likely 'let' me stay but it wouldn't have been his choice would it?

There are other issues too but that, for now, is the one currently bugging me.

Hyper - I have chocolate fudge cake, carrot cake and blueberry muffins. I'm not joking, he'd be horrified!

I run a few times a week on average. I actually lie to him and say I do it every day more or less.

These are all the reasons he is single.
Bored, you know this already, get rid.

'Lose perspective a bit and cannot see clearly when I am in the right'

Ditto. I have a history of finding it really hard to trust myself and tying myself in knots trying to find reasons to stay with someone when all the evidence suggests I should leave. Everyone on here has confirmed that you are 100% right to have doubts about this relationship and that you would be better off without this man. I hope you find some strength from that. Good luck

He sounds controly-freaky and not even in an insidious 'is he /isn't he kind of way. He's blatant!

deffo sounds like the golf guy to me....

Hmm...

He doesn't really appear as if he's making much room in his life for you. He's just not that into you

Clearly very into himself though

And a selfish git too regarding the films. Tosser.

so is it really anything more than meeting up for sex? because it doesn't sound like a relationship as such. Sounds kind of cold. Watch video. Shag me. Leave.

Yes, yes, yes. OK. It's the golf guy. < he has a name now? >

IslaValargeone Fri 25-May-12 13:09:42
I'm wondering if you have been servicing my dh

If not for the fact that the guy i was seeing had ishoos with his 'wood', I'd think that OP was with him!

Seriously, he doesn't even FEED you?

and GOLF? He can play that anytime...

He is really sounding weirder by the second.

DUMP. seriously.

I have no cake, but you can share my last

((Hug))

I make bad men choices as a rule, it has to be said

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's tough out there, it's not easy to find a good man. They're out there but few and far between. You'll get one in the end though, I'm sure of it. You just might have to kiss a few more toads in the meantime though

is that you eating your biscuit HypercriticalOaf?

I think you should find someone that likes you.

Get a dog, they always love you and will share cake.

Lots of people can wire plugs, very few can be nice and kind and make you feel good, find someone nice and kind who makes you feel good.

No, it's not meeting up for sex. it is meeting up for a hot chocolate and a film mainly

BoredRoom,

You are already bothered by several aspects of this relationship 4 to 5 months in; this is supposed to be the happiest time in a relationship.

What do you get out of this relationship?. From what you write of it I think you need to have that relationship radar of yours retuned because you are doing yourself no favours at all. He will go onto wreak any self worth you currently have.

Would also suggest you read "Women who love too much" by Robin Norwood.

Ok cards on table I am a great big heffalump so no doubt he would despise me and me him but leaving my own chip firmly on the ground, he sounds horrible. Clearly has a bad attitude to women, boring, and worse still subtly controlling. Shudder.

It's just that you posted the exact same stuff last time and I'm wondering why you are asking the same question (and thus getting the same answers) - what more do you need to hear?

This sounds so familiar...

Are you the poster whose boyfriend kept throwing "wobblies" over sex?

That was me eating half each of Bored's chocolate fudge cake, carrot cake and blueberry muffins Sparkle

(...and I might have had a biscuit or two too.)

oh, so you don't have sex after the video? sorry, I thought you said you watched a video, had sex and then you left.

I have the dog already!

He plays a lot of golf because he plays at a high level with a low handicap so needs to practice plus he is in matches every weekend more or less.

I bored myself there

I make bad men choices as a rule, it has to be said. Lose perspective a bit and cannot see clearly when I am in the right.

Now why is that exactly?. (Hence me suggesting that book). You need to address this properly now. What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?. You need to unlearn those damaging lessons you were taught.

hecate - we do sometimes, yes. And sometimes we just have a sparkiling water maybe.