men who got to prostitutes

[jake42]

Hello .
ive been reading all the threads on here about guys who visit escorts/ prostitutes/ whores etc , and i know im probably going to be called all sorts of names as its mainly a womans site, but i thought id write and tell my tale.

42 year old male , married for some 15 years, adore my wife and child and my family life . i want to get old with her .
just after our marriage one evening after sex ,whilst cuddling in bed , she says ive been thinking, we dont have to do sex, we love each other , lets live together like a brother and sister ! WTF im thinking, whats bought this on, nothing i could say or do would change her mind, we had sex very infrequently after , mainly to try for a baby. once said baby was born , she obviously was tired most of the time and eventually moved into the spare room blaming tiredness and my snoring (i do snore, but not that bad) . that was around 10 years ago and is still there now. We may of had sex 6 or 7 times since, im never allowed the pleasure of oral sex either way ,sex is always at my request, but always with the feeling that she just wants me to come and finish.
i adore her and cant imagine life without her, but the thought of no sex or hardly any doesnt appeal to me at all.
so after being knocked back one time too many i visited a site where Escort girls advertised and agreed to meet one .
i have been discreetly seeing different ones for around 5 years, always take every precaution and making sure my wife does not catch anything.
im basically between a rock and a hard place, i need to have sex , my wife doesnt, we love each other , i dont want to leave her , she , i assume doesnt want us to split up . but i cant imagine life for another 30 yrs with out sexual contact. i kind of figure that paying for it off a prostitute is better than having an affair, which as i love my wife would be out of the question.
i would be glad if anyone out there could perhaps in someway give me some advice . oh and im not a woman hater , i adore female company more than male .

Oh retro, do stop you are making such an embarrassing show of yourself.

Retro, just because there is a dictionary definition of a word doesn't mean that word is not derogatory or offensive.

Hmm, so the definition of a troll is now someone who doesn't agree with the majority even though her experiences of the subject don't tally with what others think they know
It's such a shame that some posters on such a brilliant forum as Mumsnet are so closed minded and intolerant at times. I suppose I'm just niaive to think that a different perspective may be taken on board just a little, even if at the end of the day no-one agrees with it.

wine goggles delighted you've found a nice job. You are fortunate to have been able to exercise your personal choice. There can be no greater good than 'personal choice'. Are you aware of the absurd and insulting cliches in your post? Disabled people have little chance of intimacy? Thanks, I'll bear that in mind. Have the wives of your downtrodden husbands got their own prostitutes to spend their joint family income on? Every time someone argues this 'men need sex' bullshit, anther 14 year old gets groomed. Your choice justifies the real choice - the thousands of men who now believe they have the right to choose to buy sexual access to someone else's body. The problem was never the few handmaidens who give the boys' egos what they want; it has always been the men whose ego fuelled power trip holds up the whole deck of cards.

Disabled people have little chance of intimacy? I should have said, this if from what they (and their carers) have told me. Anyway, I think humans, not just men, "need" sex/initmacy. Just look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs!

Winegoggles, that is your argument 'for' prostitution? Because of that you can just turn a blind eye to all the trafficking/abuse/underage grooming? You must be joking.

Oh, and I could be wrong, but the op doesn't say he was disabled. He just seems to think he's entitled to cheat on his wife.

JuliaScurr, There has always been and there always will be prostitution and rape. It's even in the scriptures. In some holy books fathers slept with daughters. Very you girls married very old men.

It's human nature.

And calling blokes who buy sex Rapists is equivilant to accusing scripture for seducing men into the idea of fucking young girls!

accusing scripture of ...

Human nature? Only very sick nasty humans. Your boundaries are so screwed up.

Fucking bizarre to talk about how we can look forward to there always being prostitution and rape. And the men who do those things never being held accountable.

I don't think so.

Retromum, the people who wrote those parts of the bible were paedophiles looking to justify their behaviour.

Mmm, I would suggest you don't live your life according to those scriptures then, retro.

Yes, very sick nasty human bastards. What world do you live in? Have you seen/heard/experience any of what happens out there?

There will always be sick nasty human beings out there. That's why we have jails, and wars. We have wars that will never end no matter how many wars we have coming still, because it makes economically good sense, but that's a whole other story, and because there is evil out there.

But can we/do we recognise that evil for what evil is?

You recognise a man who buys sex as a rapist, while I'm telling you, I believe there is a much greater evil out there than him. I don't see him as the rapist or terrifying evil that you do simply because he pays cash for sex.

Running, sorry, but if I felt questions were being asked as a way of broadening views I'd happily answer, but we both know this isn't the case, so there is no point in me explaining is there. It's obvious that many are not interested in hearing opposing views, just happy to dogmatically stick to theirs at all costs.

A man who pays for sex is a rapist. There are lots of other nasty things going on in the world but just because there are nastier bastards out there, it doesn't mean he's not a rapist.

And yes, it's not my fault, so don't blame me for being the bearer of bad new about the nasty side of human nature. I too dream of an ideal world. I didn't say we should accept rape. I said we should recognise what rape is. I'm not in agreement that a whore monger is a rapist.

Stop twisting my words and preempting me. Put down those bloody pitch forks.

Rape isn't human nature, it's a choice made by men.

Human nature? How comes feminists are accused of man-hating when we're the only ones saying men aren't 'naturally' ruled by their cocks to 'need' sex? Feminists have this weird idea that men can behave like human beings.

The most raped group of women in this world are prostituted women.

That's one part of the picture that you refuse to see retromum, with your pro-punter propaganda.

It took me a long time to understand my rapist and abuser was a sick man who could never get well. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that he was sick and not simply evil. He died before I came to terms with that. And I hated him to his death. And damaged myself with all that hate.

I know about rape. Please don't lecture me on it. I don't share your view. You don't even appear to have considered mine.

But Winegoggles, it is you that isn't looking at the broad view of prostitution - you tell your own story as an opposing view as you say, but it doesn't negate the experience of the many prostitutes who are trafficking and raped, of the ones who are trapped within an industry they despise, the ones who are drug addicted and pimped.

You said we should recognise what rape is. What is that, exactly?

And please don't assume you are the only person on this thread who has been raped. You definitely aren't.

*trafficked

WineGoggles, if you are not a troll, I find it unsurprising that some readers can think you are because your post is another exreme - sugar coated to the max, and indeed with all the clicjes in it. If you wanted to make an impact you should have written a more honest/balanced post. Yes, if you aer genuine, I believe that you may find your job OK, but can you hand on heart say you ENJOY it? why is the only other option 'a nasty boss' a low pay and a boring horrid normal job? Can you not envisage that you could have a job you actually like and maybe with some intersting people involved? and be paid for it on a confortable level, even if less than your earnings? Aren't you honestly never disgusted by a client's body/smell (excuse me but I don't believe you if 'yes'), and also how about genuine relatoinships - you can't have one can you. So do make yoiur point more balanced. Yes, you get cash and free time, but list what you aer NOT getting. Plus there is always a danger that just one client can turn nasty. There was another worker in the past on MN who said that men routinely want to enact scenes from violent porn, and that involves strangling, she's been really scared a few times. If you speciale in the elderly (wives past menoupause and then 10 yrs of no sex - what's that, they are 70+) then yes. you may get less likelihood of violence, but then you get other delights like erection problems and old bodies, hey? just saying, no one takes you rosy picture at face value.