I posted about this elsewhere...
When I went for counselling, they always wanted to focus on the sexual abuse in my history which, frankly, annoyed me no end because it wasn't a big part of my adult problems.
Now DL posts that both he AND his DW don't want a counsellor who dwells on the violence in their relationship, and yet Mnetters will continue to focus in on that like it's all that matters. And he's saying that he has the same problem when he & DW try to get counselling. It's very irritating and helpful if people won't listen to you and what you know to be your real problems. If his DW agrees it's not a main issue, it isn't -- or it isn't for now. Other things need to be dealt with first....
I just had to post that, I know DL is about to be pounced again, anyway, though, for issues that are red herrings and dead ends in terms of him making progress.