Have a go at Dadslib.... ...pillock!

[dadslib]

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For the record I am of mixed race, have often harboured secret lesbian tendencies and my best friend is a lesbian, hate quite a lot of men (but won't name names), and often poke my nose into other people's business trying to do good where I probably should just butt out. I am not a cripple, but am very shortsighted and need glasses even to see my keyboard. I still find no offence in the context in which DL made his reference.

Oh Norma.... you are the only one then.

Out of curiousity Norma - Could you perhaps explain in better terms what DL meant??

Norma - I really had a to laugh that match all of Dadslibs descriptions in virtually every way! However he was being offensive in many peoples eyes. Being black had nothing to do with this woman's job as a consellour, and she wasn't a lesbian as far as he knew. She may have been but what has that got to do with anything?

I can't speak for DL. But the image I have from his description is one of 'attitude' and not a visual amalgram of all the elements he describes.
Of being confronted by a counsellor who ironically probably embodies all the political correctness and outraged offence that so many people immediately cling to. Institutionalised products of 'counselling' courses or social work degrees, when what he and mrs. Lib are crying out for are wise, funny mavericks.

Norma - I don't think DL was being THAT deep!

What about the 'cripple' comment then?

Maybe we are just not as wise and not as funny as we think we are.
And just where is Mrs. Lib while her Dh is receiving the benefit of all this wisdom filled advice?
I would go ape if my Dh were to spend so much time 'talking' to faceless women. Does she even know what he is doing? Is she getting on with the housework wondering what it's all about? Feeling neglected and secretly despising her Dh?
We don't know the half of it.

Yeah TBH dinasour I think I'll join you so wait a sec.
Dadslib - sorry, it's going too far off track and any advice I have I've offered.
I'm sorry you are having problems with the Mrs. I hope you can make some of the changes that so need to be made and make her, and you, happier.
My last words have to be, once again - please think first, then act / speak.

'Cripple' rhymes quite nicely with raspberry ripple. Or my favourite tipple. Or my nipple.
Just a word.

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OMG - as I was posting my last post (!) I saw how many reponses there were to your original post. How many were in actual response to that original post though and not just people taking issue with something you've said Dadslib? You seem to be able to get a rise out of people quite a lot don't you? I don't think that's a man / woman thing I think that an offensive / taking offence thing. Shame that the origianl point got so lost but I can see how / why it would.

Norma - So are FAT, UGLY and USELESS.... they are just words.... still wouldn't want to be labled as either!!!!!!! Its a bit of an over generalisation to say "it's just a word"....
There is nothing wrong with my sense of humour! That just wasn't funny.

Norma it's not just a word - it's a horrible and offensive word. So if your child or a friends child was called, an ugly, useless, fat, black, bitch and a stupid f*ing cripple' it wouldn't bother you. Great, good for you. However I would want a quiet word with the child calling the names.

By the way Dadslib - sorry - don't ever watch Bernard Manning - think he's disgusting and offensive and would never watch him, listen to him, have anything to do with him.

Norma, YOUR words: "Institutionalised products of 'counselling' courses or social work degrees, when what he and mrs. Lib are crying out for are wise, funny mavericks." paint a vivid, and quite funny picture for me, and are accurate and pertinent to the problem DL is having finding the right counsellor. My problem is when 'just words' become the basis of stereotypes which lead to actual discrimination...."yeah don't employ - or pay to see- a lesbian, they're all man-hating and bound to be too unprofessional to keep that out of their working lives", say. And god knows what about black people...

DL: the crucial thing about the 'Kumars' not being racist is that the people exploring Asian Stereotypes are Asian. It WOULD be offensive if done by white comedians blacked-up.

Think ThomCat has it right....amber light...listen, look and listen again

I am with Thomcat on this one

words can only hurt you if you let them. I have learnt to ignore comments or to get away and have nothing to do with the source. Yes , I agree that the ideal is not to use offensive language. But as we can see, some people will take offence at anything, so where do we draw the line? If you try to find humour in things it often helps to dilute the effect intended. I am guilty of using that particular defence mechanism. Too much. Sorry.

I lived with someone who used "humour" to tell me i was fat, stupid, thick...... he told me i hadn't got a sense of humour for not laughing. I do, just not at other peoples expense, thats called bullying

I think the point is that although they are just words, there are sentiments and implications behind those words that are hurtful, unacceptable and in the case of racist ones, illegal too.
I disagree that people on this thread are 'taking offence at anything' - this is something important that means a great deal to people on here.

But as we can see, some people will take offence at anything

Are you serious Norma??? You really think that this is something trivial we are ALL taking offence at???? Wow.... now there is something else offensive.

Oh dear.

If someone called my child an ugly useless fat black bitch I would see red. But I doubt very much that DL would call anybody that. Or maybe he would. But anyway, the context was on a message thread whilst illustrating his previous difficulties with counsellors. He did not directly insult anybody (and he has been the recipient himself of some unnaceptable abuse).
It's all down to the context.

Just because you've these words not hurt you doesn't mean to say they aren't wrong. If you've learnt to ignore them, or you remove yurself from their source you must have found them offensive at some stage. I don't think anyone here has taken offence to anything that they didn't have an absolute right to be offended by. None of the wods in question used offened me personally as none relate to me / my life but I was offened on behalf of other people and think that there are a few people out there in the big bad world that could do with a lesson in political corectness, perhaps it would be a nicer place to live if everyone was pc.

Norma - while i really don't want to rant at people, you said: 'He did not directly insult anybody'
He did!!!
He directly insulted millions of people with his words!

I think I'll have some of whatever Norma is smoking! Chilled to point of not caring about much.

Why would you see red Norma??? Afterall... they are only words!
Sorry for being flippant.... but thats what its boiling down to.

ENOUGH NOW I THINK!

lets start dadslib a brand new thread which focuses on the real meaning behind his original post??