How do I meet a man who doesn't just want sex?

[hatesponge]

Just that really.

I have tried the whole online stuff. If we go on a date and there's an attraction between us, there is always the expectation it will end it sex. Sometimes it does. And I never see them again. Not the end of the world, itch scratched and all that but part of me thinks well we had a decent time, why not see me again? And on the dates where there's an attraction but nothing happens (well maybe a bit of kissing but no more) I never see them again either, because obviously sex was the motivating factor and, as they didn't get it, they've moved on to an easier conquest.

It's EXACTLY the same in RL too. I meet men through work, friends etc. And then nothing, whether stuff happens or it doesnt. Sex - or more specifically one off conquests - appears to be the sole motivation.

I'm sure there must be some men who are not like this. But I don't seem to be able to attract them, and for the life of me I can't figure out why. It can't all be down to luck surely?

Time, I tried Oasis and OKCupid. Awful, just awful.

I was on Match about 3 years ago. Ended up dating men I wasn't that interested in just to feel I was getting my money's worth. Bit depressing!

Registered for Eharmony on one of their free weekends. It told me I had no suitable matches!

Time, you are so right re the Crimewatch lineup. Or an oap outing...

The only good thing about all those have viewed me men is the fact most haven't actually messaged me saving me having to block them.

Occasionally I see a half decent one, then remember it's one I messaged myself!

I personally think POF is ok. Sure there's rough with the smooth that's a the way it is in society. As I said, Sponge asked for advice she has received some, and has taken it on board. Whether it works or not we will see, however there seems to be some very defensive peeps on this thread at mo...what a shame.

We do seem to always come back to POF don't we? Does seem it is the best of a bad bunch. I was traumatised after a week on Smooch!

Ha sponge, that happened to me too on eharmony-obv just too 'unique' for em!

'and Watch'.

Cross post, here we go. I will report the next one so stop it.

Woopi dooo!!! Give it your best!

Attacked who? What rubbish!

Urgh, sorry you've had to cope with so many knobbers. My only recommendation would be to almost consciously treat a date as if you are the celebrity-fucking-marvellous-queen-of-everything and they are the lucky man who has waited his whole life for this one chance to dine with you. Be sparkly and happy and gracious and pleased to see him but not TOO interested in him.

Being happy in yourself and acting like you don't NEED him but you do like (as in, generally enjoy spending time with) him seems to be what works for me anyway.

Out of the men you've dated, who was your favourite? What was he like? And what happened?

No I don't want a row.

It's interesting how you know sponge has got rid of the men who just want sex. You obviously missed your true vocation

What, you wouldn't pay £30 to possibly meet one ok guy out of 9? Think quality not quantity. You only need to find one nice one.

Oh and the (new, it sounds like) profile is lovely! The only bit I would question was this:

"I don't have a huge long list of requirements. I could write a 20 point list of my 'ideal' man but actually I'd rather judge someone on their own merits rather than if they match some set criteria." Although I know what you're saying, the fact that you say you COULD have a list (and say the word "list" twice and "set criteria" once) makes it sound like you really DO have one, and therefore is a little scary (at least, if a man said that I would be put off).

I think we are bound to feel we are coming across so many 'knobbers' is because they are all concentrated in one place, it's knobber overload!

Mrssam. My Profile does say I have a child. Its in the first bit, where it also says height. If I have a car, what I'm looking for etc.

The fact I have a child has no bearing on my personality nor on what I want.out of a relationship. I have many other avenues of my life too. I'm sure the ' professional' advice is not to go on about your children and certainly not include them on pictures..
I.don't understand why you are so.hung up about that point?

And yes, the polo neck was extreme advice, but again, why the need for extreme advice in the first place..

I also happen to like black and white photos. I do change my pic regulary.... And ive had nothing but compliments regarding it from both males and females. Just because one male.doesn't Like it, doesn't mean all won't.

And all the men who just wanted sex are gone, and no longer messaging sponge..

Success!!!!

Or proof indeed that all men are interested in is getting laid.

:)

Sponge, best vist Ann summers, it might be a long wait :)

It's only Tuesday, as we know from experience they will all be back by Friday