Welcome to the Turning Tavern III

[Crushinghard]

A continuation of the TTII thread for women unexpectedly finding themselves attracted to other women.

was in a rush to post as battery going down on notebook and it's new not used to be so didn't check for typos at all!

well have you spoken to her at all within the last two weeks? did you even bump into her? I mean if you hardly see each other she may need time to be testing waters as it's only been two weeks. but if you ddi see her a few times and she ignores you I think thats not tto get a reaction, it's too far-fetched! she could sulk for a bit, say a couple of times when seeing you but not longer if she was interested as then she would worry that she will put YOU off completely. When it's game playing, it's more one time this way, nexrt time the other way, not constnat ignoring. Can you ask around other parents or teachers whether she is involved with someone now? as then at least you'll let it go uf yes. But as i say if you only saw her once or twice since then leave it to bher to make any steps but do try to somehow bump into her so she has opportunity, just don't sort of look expectantly every time!
I'm planning the letter, but she's confusing me - what do you think of this man story? is it to tell me that she's hetero, or was it a hint that she won't get involved with anyone much younger and that doesn't like being too direct with rejection 9she added that she wouldn't want to be too nasty when trying to shake him off as he was nice and attractive even though drunk, and only if he wasn't getting hints she was a bot more direct but she was still saying she was forced as he didn't read signals - i.e. she could mean she was giving me a non-interest signals too and doesn't want to be ;nasty'.

outmy, I did say that I think you should leave ot up to her in my first reply to you (today). It's good that she'll have opportunity, I thought you said earlier that you won't be in contact soon as your dd is moving to diff section (?). I can't see what else can yo udso now - you can of course respond well to any efforts or even glances from her, you can also intiate just smiling if she does look but not in an obviously flirty way (if she's not intertesed it would just scare her off) just warm non-manic smile . I definately don't thinkyou should initiate anything again, unless she strats SOME steps and then after a few of those you could talk to her seriously, but definately not now, as she may well have lost interest. As i say maybe find out if she's with someone? If she is interested she won't be able to ignore you for a long time, if that's what's happening then you need to lt it go (say if from now she ignores you over a month).
No, I'm not p;anning to be stuck in limbo. This eve we had a more candid text exchange, I went as far as to say I think a lot of her but won't relate the whole texting (well from me mainly candid but she responded well even though hasn't really opened up). She sounds guarded but warm (I think she just may be very hetero, but again it might be her first reaction to me being a bit more honest). I did say i will see her a couple of times after her trip as it's been a month of no see before yesterday. If nothing shifts over a couple of meeting I'll let go of the idea, if i sense some warming up then will send a letter. I will see her again in 2 weeks, and then in one week after that, so it's not once a month!

Hi everyone.

I haven't posted since my first time on here a few weeks ago, but i've been reading the thread. Hope everyone is doing well.

My situation has changed - I admitted to my boyfriend on Thursday that I think I'm gay, and he has decided to move out. I feel so much freer now that I've been honest with him. I wish I'd done it sooner.

Over the past few weeks, I've spent a lot of time with WIQ. She had some friends staying at her house - a gay (male) couple from Switzerland - and we all got on so well together; I was at her place most days. We cooked dinner, chatted, listened to music, went out for drinks - it was amazing. I ended up telling the guys how I feel about WIQ. We were out at a gay bar (WIQ didn't come as she was tired), and I told them that I was in love with a woman. To my horror, they immediately guessed who it was. They didn't freak out and tell me I was out of my mind, which was comforting. Their advice was actually to tell her how I'm feeling.

I get so many vibes from her, but it's confusing. She calls me and texts me all the time when we're not together, so she clearly likes me and likes my company, but I'm just not sure if she has ever considered me as anything except a friend. I'm so scared of losing her friendship that I don't want to risk admitting how I feel.

She's going back to her home country for 6 weeks in a few weeks' time, and I have decided that I need to tell her before she goes. I'm just not sure how to broach it. Do I tell her that I'm in love with her? That I'm attracted to her? There's so much I want to say.

I'm at her house right now as I'm writing this. She's on her computer in the bedroom and I'm on the terrace. The only thing that's stopping me from going inside and telling her is fear.

outmy she was warm in last night's exhange but not , you know, returning hte compimemnts or talking if how she feels, like hte was no direct response to me saying a like her a lot, I also said I think she'd enjoy my company more if there was less of a polite distance/small talk. She didn't jump andsay - I think so too, but then i added that if that's too pushy then i 'd still be more than happy to help/be there for her as she said she was stressed a bit (and therefore was annoyed with me yesterday - i.e. it wasn't personal). To which she said she really appreciates it, and gemerally was apologetic about being annoyed. She eihter isn't ready for any 'comebacks' or is DNG, but she definatelu was warm though. I will see next time whether there is a shift to gettting a bit close, all I'm doing now is sifteningher guard and getting her to trust me which i think is working but the thing is i still donn't know whether she's intertsted in some man, and whether she could be at all interested in a me as more than a friend (even if we will be more friends).
You could walk past but not iften, if you say she knows what you aer doing, then maybe better not to, but if you can walk with some other purpose as if by chance, then do, just not evry time you aer there. She would make steps if interested by it sounds like she cooled off and maybe she's being odd s she's embarassed of the past and htat you knnow she may be gay? I keepo saying try to find out if she's in relationship now. I mean it wouldn't harm to walk past her jus once and then leave it to her. But if nothing else happens, you aer right it would be bad for you to get stuck, and after your dd leaves best not to see her - she could still find you though even once you move if she really wabhted to, but I agree she'll do some steps now in htese weeks if there is someting there.
Caonima,
unless you already told her , why doyou think her interest is only friendly? any signs of that? if her friends know her well, and they advise you to tell her , maybe they could see she's also interested?

knowing polly, she'd update if anything did happen. Her wiq is impssible to pin down for drinks usually, so pretty sure she s gone awol again (unless they had 'the talk' and it wasn't positive and nothing good to report).

just to add, outmy, my wiq is definately not freaked out by what i said as she there and then taslked about my next visit to see her, remembershe could always stop our meetings if she wanted to, it's on her territory. I'm just getting a nigglong feeling there might be someone else on the scene. I'd say she 's definately a bit flirty with me (eyes, grins etc) but there is a limit which she doesn't go over (i.e. saying any compliments or touching etc). I suspect she may fancy me (or women generally at times) but she's still more hetero and might fancy a man more (or already seeing someone eveb if it's obviously not full time) - i hink she can surely guess from my recent texts that there is a possibility I'm having a crush on her, at very least platonically, and she may even like this but for her to act on it is another matter. I'm trying to get her head round to see it that way, but who knows. At least she hasn't said 'I'm busy from now on' .

glad you reacted with a 'blimey'! as i keep feeling I'm not doing enough, so at least that WAS quite noticeable to her I hope. I wouln't have the courage to say it face to face (and hte putting on the spot) but this was by text, and I just was in that 'what the heck' mood last time after a long and stressful day - I thought, after she's been annoyed with me in the morning, well if this puts her off so be it, but I was a bit upset with her being not friendly then and I needed to get a reaction (i.e. maybe she thinks I'm an annoying idiot after all) and then she was apologetic and and saying she was stressed, so it spiralled from there , me telling her I want to get closer (well, it wasn't said ia an overt sexual way , but still). I just thought she'll either not answer or possibly dig a bit more if she was interested, and there was silence to couple of these texts for 10p min or so (maybe she was a bit stunned andthinking what to say) but she opted for being nice and even grateful without really acknowledging the riskier side. DNG is definately not gay - that's what i nean if she's not , but still likes me as person and wants to see me, she may have gone that nice-y way around the issue!? there is a small hope that she is just delaying her reaction and being careful with it (if positive). I even thought - did i say it clearlt enough as there was no strong reaction of either shock and ignoring, or something playful - but it sounds by your reaction that it was really enough for now. WEll, I wasn't going to send hte letter yet even yest afternoon, but especially not now as if anything she wouldn't be too surprised by it anymore, but mainly because i want to see how it goes now. I htink it will be a little awkward next time, but if she behaves as if nothing was said and is all breezy and polite, then really it would mean she wants it to stay that way, polite and pleasant contact.

outmy, it is a bit strange that parents don't know whether teachers are married/in r-ships and don't chat to each other. not a very sociable school! yes, they wouldn't know if she was dating but if she had a steady BF I think they could know. It's also bad that you don't know wheer she goes socially, or at least shopping! it would be great to bump into her in the shops or something, as then the pressure wd be off her. Willl she know how to find you once your dd moves on? does she have your phone number from those notes? Just thinking that may be she wd prefer to contact you once you moved as then won't be scared of professional issues, that's of course IF she is interested.

in that mood last night, not 'last time'

s**t just typed a response and MN logged me out - ehy do they do that!! can't they log you out before you start typing!
More Briefly, it's a shame she hasnt got your number! then at least you'd know for sure hwether she was waiting for you to move from her section. I think leave it to her for these 7 weeks but also walk once or twice past in a week maybe, so it looks unpressurising. And you do liv ein same town so it's not like you couldn't bump into eacj other, if it's once it wouldn't be/look like stalking. But you' d have to know where sh egoes on weekends and you don't (is there a shopping centre close to where sh elives as i think you know which area?) - it's long shot of course. Hopefully you'll know within weeks anyway. YOu COULD give her your number just before leaving if there are more mixed messages, but if she completely ignores you for 7 weeks then i think she's cooled off. Something was there that she didn't like but we'll never know as she' s very odd and wouldn't just talk to you in mature way (instead sulks and dirty looks!).

why

My stupid smileys havnt worked either. Now my post looks stupid:o

great - I did think that she won't stay away if she is at all interested - and i always thought she used to be interested. Maybe after all she was disliking your mixed messages! if this comtinues do give her your number so she can then stay in touch. I'm slightly worried that she will start playing some game and be on and off again, but I hope not! if she does at least you ar more used to it and will handle it better! what did you say to her - and did she come across a bit flirty? anyway - maybe this is fresh start, just go gently.