Welcome to the Turning Tavern III

[Crushinghard]

A continuation of the TTII thread for women unexpectedly finding themselves attracted to other women.

If I was hesitant it was because I was married at the time but realised I'd met my true match

Loveis - ah ok, at least you knew though that she's been with a woman before and not completely against it. And I see about hesitancy. I feel that wiq is also hesitant, i.e. I come across as waiting for something in some of our one to one interactions, and she seems to be deciding (a mix of long gazing and yet walking away when there is a pause and I can sense the chemistry). She's prettu singlethough, so I'm hoping she's just trying to see whehter to go for it or not (for various reasons).

Yes, it is me that cannot tell whether someone is interested. I genuinely have no idea until I'm told - and even then I'm not convinced.

evening outmy!
Hmm she continues being very odd! Is she generally a bit odd, would you say other people would see her as slightly eccentric/odd? Is she very introverted?
If she is, this could mean that she's not capable in having open conversation as she likes to be secretive and not open up/likes to be enigmatic as she hinks it's 'interesting'. If she's normally different than she is with you, then it sounds like she is attracted but still doesn't know how to deal with it and not ready to own up, or she's worried about being a teacher there. The problem wit hthis chat is, did she think you were not injteretsted anymore - or do you think you still came caross as interested but respecting her distance? I mean she was unlikely to confess when you were suggesting to draw the line. I would, if I were - just in case! - add that you would be completely discreet if she was worried about school finbding out. At least thos wd have given her a chance to get back to you when she's ready to talk. As it is I don't know - she may talk to you later or not, depending how you came across, But it must have been frustrating and even infuriating that she hasn't tried to soothe the situation and didn't show that she appreciate you taking all the blame (unfairly). She may still get back to you saying thanks for approaching her - you need yet more patience to wait whether she does anything. But at least there won't be a BAD atmoshpere. If she was 'stunned' she will get back to you, and will realise on reflection she should have been nicer.

G, so how much are you influenced by someone tellig you that they are attracted? could it make you attracted in itself, or you would have to already have found then attractive before this?

found them

It wouldn't make me attracted if I wasn't already. If I was, it would be marvellous to find out they felt the same way.

so how did you manage to be friends with your Mrs before she told you, if you were already attracted? did she guess you were attracted, I wonder?

*capable of

That's a good question, and despite pondering it, I don't really know the answer. I am quite used to liking people and doing nothing about it.

Only that the night everything fell into place, I realised I was totally and utterly in love with her and I wasn't sure when that had started.

yes, the mysteries of the heart..So how long have you been friends before this? and did she say she knew you were attracted and that it gave her courage?

outmy, no you haven't buggered things at all! it was the right thing to do. Regarding discretion, I meant really if she was more responsive during the chat, or at least had a lt of eye contact etc. It's not too late for that - it's exactly right that she will now have a chance to chat normally and if she wants to test the waters again then show some signs, and then you can tell her that. As i say the main thing is there is no bad atmosphere and she must have respect for you for making this step! If she's not intertested anymore she's ll be polite but still avoiding much comtact, but if she is you'll notice some steps from her. If you are patient enough !
you say matters of the heart are different - yes, but to the extent of total personality transplant! she was quite provocatiove in the past, so now to think she's just so modest and shocked is - I also have no idea whether she's genuine tbh, though she could be just unusual. Are you feeling quite content though if you'll have to let it go, or to wait for a long time? or not happy?

but NOT to the extent*

outmy, you and me both - not patient but also not good at letting things go if there is any chance at all . Of course she may well be not a nice person, but she could also be a bit unstable emotinally/mentally that's why I was asking what is she normally like socially? There aer emotional issues that can be hiddebn under surface and you'd only see thenm if you know the person well. I really do think it's nothing offensive that you've done! yes, mised signals but then you wrote to her, AND talked to her apologising abd explaining. She's either bitchy and unforging (i.e. 'you had your chance and blew it, here's your punushment') or she's just cooled down after not getting quick response from you - both of which are shallow and then best to avoid her if she's like this. Ok, give it a week or two as you say, but it does look like she's got an eternal hump with you, and possibly even enjoys that you are still under her influence, so it's not good. It would be nice if she came back with some clear message, and opened up for once? but it's not much of a chance. Do you think you could get interested in someone new after this?

mixed signals*

unforgiving* (unforging )

haha, of course I will spend months pining if it's a no-go! I ve been pining for the last 6mnths knowing that it may not go anywhere. I suppose I';;l pine less if she was cool or unpleasant to me, but I'd rather she wasn't as I'd still want contact with her even just on friendly basis.
You really have to stop blaming yourself for being stuck - your WIW has done everything for you to get all messed in your thoughts! it;s not your fault! she could be justa nasty person. But do give a chance for a few weeks maybe to get nack to you and explain. The thing is though, if she never explains, it still means that she doesn't want anything to happen now, eveb if she did then, so there is no real difference whether you know the reason why - as I said before she's eithr cooled off (which can happen to anyone ) and then has been a bit huffy, or met someone else, but it's nothing that you've done so whatever is her reason you have to go along with the outcome. You nevr know, you may meet someone! but for now try to distract with anything at all, and if she doesn't get back to you then jutst wait till time heals it. Yes my wiq is very 'proper' in many ways and wouldn't mess anyone. I like that, but in a way being proper doesn't sit so well with being unconventional (i.e. bisexual which does worry me.

WIQ, not wiw (woman in white? woman is witchy (wd suit your wiq))

How is everyone doing? looks like no progress anywhere as it's been quiet.
outmy, are yo uin a better mood or still down about wiq?
I ve seen wiq yesterday/today briefly. She hasn't cooled after my texts which is good, in fact on return there was a warm text exchabge about her trip etc. Yesterday for once I ended being out with her (only because she had to work in a nearby cafe and ot was convenient but whatever the reason still ended up in that place together which is nice for a change, maybe she'll get used to the idea of going out with me without thinking we look strange due to age gap. Would you believe on the way to see her on a bus I was sitting right behind a lesbian couple! irony or not?? I must say I don't see then often somehow and jus twhen it was so strongly on my mind - there they were, two young sporty girls, blond and brunette, annd they were so nice together, slightly affectionate without doing anything cringey - just resting head on the the other's shoulder, peck on the cheek. I didn't even realise first they were gay. It was just quite poignant how real and how nice CAN it be whileof showed that it could be a reality while I'm stuck in an almost unrealistic fantasy - it showed that it can be real and vey natural. And they were both natural, nothing butch or whatever even though vey sporty. But then I also thought - well, they aer same age, same height even, obv both into some sport and coming back from it in their gear - they really belong together even though looks a bit unconventional. And then it's me and wiq - age gap, different types of life, she's very social, kids etc, I'm not, I'm more of a thinker and increasingly a dreamer even though I'm independent. Bitter sweet experience really. That got me in the mood though, and when i came in and saw her i couldn't stop grinning and was looking a bit giddy and flirty. I really am confused though - the first thing she did was to hold eye contact with a smile and i bet a playful smile (she wasn't drunk as she was working). Then I sort of imposed myself a bit as i could ve just asked what i needed to and leave her to her work, but i ordered some snack and sat at same table thinking that I'll see whether she'll try to chat or not. well, that was on and off - i didn't want to distract her but did ask questions now and then and told her i didn't want her to move to another country (well not so directly but she got te message), she kind of asked me a couple of things but not seriously asked how things were, more casual chat. WE then both left and she proceeded to tell me that she just got chatted up by a much younger attractive guy and how she shook him off - and the remarks were that he was half her age and that she was giving him signals that she wasn't interested but he didn't take the hint so she had to be really direct and then he left her alone. I thought with horror , was she telling me this as I'm kind of similar, younger and not getting the message she's not interested? She said he was good looking and charming, so i asked don't you regret it - and she said No way are you joking - tbh doesn't make much sense if she thought he was attractive? but if this was a parallel with me - I don't know, all i managed to say is that age is not so important, but then we had to change subject. Then it was again - cool most of the eve, then again very warm at one point. You see how can i be ready to send her notes when she's so hard to read? i will do but what do you think? today she was pissed off wit hme for a couple of inane and silly questions purely just to get a chat going, but she wasn't in the mood and sounded just annoyed.