Welcome to the Turning Tavern III

[Crushinghard]

A continuation of the TTII thread for women unexpectedly finding themselves attracted to other women.

Likea, you're going to have to tell us a lot more about what you got up to while you were there. We need details godammit!!!!!!!

outmy, yes, I know we said it's best to wait till she warms up, but it's true that this may never happen on its own! It sounds like it's unbearble to you, so I'd advise to talk to hr now. I only suggested waiting as you were pissed off with her for ignoring you (rightly so!) and you weren't in the mood! Try to approach her in an assertive way, as if you aer doing it for yourself, not in a way that you aer trying to please her iykwim. SOMEONE has to be grown up there! is she in her 20s?
The thing with these vaguetalks about women in general, that they leave you neither here nor there! If she doesn't suspect she will probably say 'I can't really advise you' as she's not likelyto have experience (or if she had she really wouldn't be just telling me, as she was married and this is a very personal conversation). Yes, we do chat, but it's never about personal life - do chat about her kids sometimes this is as personal as it gets. Say, she does suspect that I'm hinting, again - if I suddenly start this she may not be ready and not say anything. I just can't start this subject out of nowhere without looking like an idiot. I don't think I can tell her gaceto face really - for htese reasons and also may be not expressing myself well so directly. Maybe I should wriyte a letter - not right now but wait till i see her again first, maybe twice. Must make sure she asn't put off by ne saying I'll be missing her, which i did by text before the trip. Yes we did talk before she went, and it was very nice and longish chat, and then i sent those texts with sort of hints. I never told her before that I'd be missing her thougjh it was kind of said among other things.
G40, there wasn't much i could get up to there! the place was a bit chaotic as she had relatives staying when she already left. Everyhing personal is out of view, but I couldn't resist going through her notes that where lying around, they go about a month back of things to do. As i say noticed this man's name there but he only visited 6 weeks ago and normally he visit every 3 months so I don't know whether she's trying something on with him - I hope not! Also studied the v-card, she obviously has an admirer and she dosplayed it so she may ne going with him oficially (I assume it's a HE but who knows). Looking at the notes - she's VERY busy (not important stuff mainly) but lots of people's name and practical stuff to do, so really it's not easy for her to fir someone into her life properly.
I'm thinking actually of asking her whether she has a boyfriend or is dating someone - it's a bit pushy but at least if she say 'things are happening' then i will have my answer. I know thre is no full time or serious BF, but it may be in progress. Other than that G, ter wasn't much to be getting up to - I slept on a different bed after all as her room was too cold! but in any case it's not like it was her bedlinen on there which wd be nice, it was all reeking of washing powder!
outmy, it's important to stay friendly, I wouldn't want to lose contact.
I think i will write a nice letter but will ask about a bf first, I don;t know whatto say if she asks why i'm asking! that would put me on the spot!

going out with him officially*
people's names*
By the way re BF, I know she hasn't got a serious one as spends weekend evenings at home, but I think one is trying to take her out all thetime and whether he's succeding in getting her interested I don't know. And there is this man who is abroad, she obv has a soft spot for him (heard her on the phone, quite ingratiating which is VERY unusual) but it doesn't sound like he's interested tbh. It didn't sound like an intimate talk, but on the other habd shewas suggesting she visits him and they did spend half a day together in her place a while ago. Iwas siupposed to be doing something for her that day on computer, but she asked me not to stay, an d as i said then she also dressed in tightish clothes which i thoiught was a bit too much even. But still the talk on the phone was not intimate (she didn't think she's being heard). Possibly she has plans with him but still 'working on it'. Oh, I just don't bloody know! On the other hand a lot of warm vibes to me recently.

outmy, well the letter didn't really work in your case though, but on the other hand you survived! also your wiq IS very strange in her signals, mine wouldn't be doing the rejection followed by many stares etc. . Yes, it really helps if you aer in the assertive (mildly pissed off) mood as this will give you courage. It's just really silly to have these atmoshpere, and she;s not even as young as i thought she was! just tyalk matter of fact andprepare exactly what to say, and just look ather in a nuetral way without staring (and not much blishing)! she needs to be told to snap out of it'grin'!

No this chat was the day before she went, and so were the texts. we don't chat daily on the phone! normally it's just texts. I don't need more hints as such, but I must make sure she hasn't beeen put off by my 'missing you' texts and saying that it's her I'm being sweet with, not generally. I thinks they can be definitely seen as hints ot at least could be hints. So if she freaks out (and no little note for me at hte flat isn't great) I will see that when she's back. If she actually liked it, then again it should show in how she is with me. After that I will write, but you know I have to be in the right mood, so I'm not going to schedule it exactly! maybe I'll think it's best to see her a couple of times. Yo know, I do feature in her daily notes quite a bit - but I was looking for some silly sign kiss next to name which is stupid as these were not really hidden. The thing is I can't stop thinking of some affectionate/loving looks she gave me recently, so you aer right, I have to do smth very soon to stay sane! I just hope this wasn't motherly type of fondness. Again, if she was a man i have no doubt we'd be all over each other - you know. it's the chemistyr, but she's not so may not ese it this way at all. Especially if there is some guy tying to seduce her in the same time.

*blushing

outmy, yes, a letter is reallly the way to go, as you can get it right, not babble on some nonsense face to face (plus have to find the right moment when she's not busy with something - which is a challenge!). I really don't think my texts could come across as me takingthe piss or not genuine - not worried about that, i deliberately made them un-jokey but kind of matter of fact. But she could be restrrained if she thingks I'm straight, so the stupid thing is we may be both scared that we will shock each other by saying anything! I now feel that it's easier for me to start this (by letter if nothing else) r=than for her as she may think she would makea real fool og herself as she'l older. But i still think she could text back or left a little note after my texts, and even wheni texted with a question when in her house, she could ve been nicer in rsponse, that's why I'm worried that what i said wasn't too welcome. But - she was very busy before trip and during it (lots of people to see). As i say, can only tell when i seeher nextif there is a change. If she really disliked the hints, she could even cancel our scheduled meeting, so will tell me!
Yes, the bigger picture seems like there aer vibes and loving looks. Same as the bigger picture with yours looks like she was interested (maybe not anymore, but she was).

as she's older*

I think i can only write a letter if I get a good feeling from her on return, definitely not if she goes distant. In which case i may actually ask whether she didn't like my texts, I can manage that!

*that will tell me!

sorry outmy, but don't give up! can you arrange for the late pickup like you did before, when there was not many people around?
G40, let's have your input on current posts, not just welcoming people to the thread or looking for salacious details !
polly, are you feeling better?

outmy - I mainly ask Gay40 as she's experienced - and gay! I'm enjoying our chats as we are in the same position though! it's good to have different inputs as everyone looks from their point of view/experience. But you definitely helping me even though not so experienced, fresh perspective.
polly is probably sulking as I'm not positive about her situation, but I hope she'll come back and comment on ours (and hope she is better most of all). I did ask her if the new info she had on her wiq proved that she had a GF in the past, but no reply so far!

Am not sulking! But not having an easy time and still not fully fit.

Sorry i didn't see your Q about the new info. No it doesn't prove that, but the info does suggest she had very strong feelings of the gay variety for a woman. That combined with a couple of other things means the general consensus on the FB TT is that she is interested in me. I'm (funnily enough) heading the other way now and I'm not convinced at all. I emailed her today to see if she's free this weekend to meet-up - due to her work I doubt I'll hear from her til tomorrow at the earliest. I'll see what she says and take it from there.

I'm only experienced at being myself really. I've nothing to bring to the table as regards turning, but I tend to say my piece as to the general bizarre behaviour of women.

Likea, you should have rolled around in her sheets a bit, in your favourite perfume.

G, as I say the sheets were clean abd reeking of detergent at that - what's the fun in that?? her clothes that she wore -that's better. What do you think of me texting her that i will miss her, and she didn't directly reply - do you think she was put off by that? and me saying I'm not sweet to everyome in reply to hers - doyou think she's got the hint?
polly - I did always say that your wiq might have a thing with a woman - one woman. But as she said she wasn't gay even afer that means a)it was a one off (like me with my wiq) or b) you aer not her type. I think interest is ALL about trying to be near that person, she has opportunity AND she knows you ar bi and fancied her, she's free as well, so her not trying to see you more often, just speaks for itself. I stand by the fact that it's the big picture that counts, not a specific impulsive episode or words as such. I'm not gtting the sense of that bigger picture towards you, at best a but of a fantasy which she doesn't want to act on. If you found out that she was hurt by a woman and sworn off it, I can see that it might give you hope, but she's a go-getting type so still not much. I think if you aer cooling off that's just the gut instinct - not enough encouragement, but it's still best to talk to her to get the answer in black and white.
polly what do you think re my questions to G above? do you think she's absorbing my hints and texts (the last ones) or is the non response means it's not welcome? as i say I will see what she's like when she's back - if warber than she liked it, and opposite - same thing, but still interesting what people think.

might have had*

if warmer then she liked it*

is sleep reporting on fb? any developments, briefly?

G40 but your Mts has turned - how can you say you have no knowledge to contribute! you usually sound more confident with your advice than others, so obviously you get vibes from situations as you ve been tere before, even if on the other end.