The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To............... Amarillo?

[Mouseface]

.............. sorry, ran out of ideas tonight!

Hello, tis me, Mouse and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol, vodka in particular.

Welcome to the Battle Bus, full of totally Brave Babes all on their own personal journey to sobriety. Some are there, some are still on their way and some aren't quite ready yet but stay on the Bus for a good old natter

Wherever you are in your quest to get back control of your drinking, we've all been there too so you're not alone, not by a long shot.

Come take a seat and say hello.

If you'd like to know the history behind this amazing journey, you can follow the links back HERE

See you soon x

That is a really great idea Venus, you are one wise woman. Perhaps if we all could 'see' the feeling it would help enormously. I still remember, and The Scream says it all to me!! I know exactly where that guy was coming from.

It's bloody freezing here too, and it's my 24th wedding anniversary this weekend, was hoping for sunshine, the day we married it was hot and beautiful, and I was pissed. The translation from that day for years was days of wine and roses, a romantic prelude to the destruction that followed.

Wish I had known what I know now.

Greyhound, shall be thinking of you, and all the other lovely babes, who I never seem to namecheck, but you are all special to me. Hope Blanket is ok too. xx

Saf - I'm so very of your trip to see the gorgeous Dubs. You simply MUST give her the biggest hug ever from me.

I bet the trip will be so good for you, and I guess for Dubs too if you are both on the same page as such. Time to heal some scars and open a few of those smaller boxes maybe? xx

venus - I'm not a religious soul, well I don't think of myself as having a religion.....

The plan was to get Nemo baptised as a 'THANK YOU' to whoever for bringing him back time and time again when we were told to expect the worst. I don't know 'who' we'll be thanking but I DO believe in a higher power, or fate/karma kind of force.....

So, we've invited the closer members of both our families, (one particular member has 4 children, various ages and degrees of 'behaviour' and enjoys to let them do as they see fit, whilst she has some 'much needed' time off) and are no stuck with no venue after (I will not have that certain member of the family in my nice new house/kitchen/bathroom no matter what day it is) because the place we'd originally booked have said that they won't do a buffet on a Sunday.

Hmm, so you'd rather wave goodbye to a guaranteed £300 than throw a few butties together? Fine, your loss. Oh, and you can forget any more business from us and our extended family/friends when they come to stay.

We're going to talk to another land lord shortly so fingers crossed he can accommodate us.

It's just something that we said we'd do as a way to acknowledge just how lucky we are to have a lovely little chap like Nemo in our lives.

I'm off to stick my PJs on and make a . Getting up at 5am is not a great time for this little mouse.

hey all - still trying to catch up. not even going to attempt to namecheck everyone but bloody well done saf and soma.
Had a meeting with my lovely former boss today - i wish he was still with the company - and he treated me to coffee and a pep talk which was nice. I really miss working with him.
Bought a vast amount of food in Aldi - God that place is cheap - which will probs last about two days given the locustsDCs are around a lot at the mo.
Catch you all later

Hey Ma - sounds like if there was another 'you', you'd be off working with your former boss? Is that an option at all? Massive hugs xx

I shop at Aldi, a weekly shop at Tesco (other supermarket chains are available ) would cost between £80 - £100 all in - so nappies, wipes, food and drinks (wine and beer) but a shop at Aldi, like for like is no more than £50 a week.

DH likes the bitter that they sell,and the beers too. He stocks up on the continental meats, and I stock up on chicken breast, breads, cheeses, veg, fruit etc.......

A pack of 6 medium to large chicken breasts are only £6.49, which is less than £1.10 per breast. Not rocket science.

Since we got the new fridge freezer, I've stocked up with essentials like that, and bread for school lunches, and drinks for DH.

They also have some great jackets, books, cooking/kitchen utensils, children's clothing.

Maybe I should apply for a job if I'm selling Aldi like this!!

hello everyone its freezing cold here, thank goodness I'm drinking hot herbal tea instead of cold shivery wine!

Definitely on the bus tonight, who's driving? Still mulling over my blips on Wednesday and Thursday. I was too tired to think straight last night, so wine was the default.

Perhaps if I write down alternatives and can look at them & see my options.... will make a list and keep it somewhere obvious. If its in my handbag, I will see it at the supermarket and choose something other than wine?

how is everybody?

My Alternatives List

Herbal tea, fennel or lemon & ginger
Chocolate!
Do some pilates
Go on mumsnet
Read a book or magazine
Watch repeats of The Big Bang Theory
Have a bath with nice scented candles
Walk the dog
Go to bed early and sleep...

joey fab list.

So.... the thing to do is when you feel tempted start at the top of the list. Do all of those things (oh and don't forget to eat - cheese, chocolate, whatever). Don't be tempteed to stop midway and give up, keep right on to the end of the list.

And if you still feel like you want a drink, then come back here and we can give you some other suggestions.

Sounds like you have a plan Joey

Unfortunately, most of your list is a no go with my current diet, well, the foods on the list are a NO!

You sound very in control and aware of the pit falls, you'll get there, ODAAT.

Just popping in to say that I'm cold and shivery and will be a tad cross if DH has shared his germs with me!

Everyone okay tonight, Friday is always a tough one for some reason...... it's just a day like any other isn't it?

i think it just IS cold and shivery. i'm in thick jersey pants, cashmere blend jumper, woolly cardigan and huddled under a thick fluffy blanket and still shivering AND the heating is on. may!?!?

joey i think delaying tactics can work too - i will do the washing up and then see how i feel. well i'll just load the washing machine and sort the dry laundry out and then see. busy doing something else for ten minutes can be long enough for the moment of madness to pass, if not you do something else for ten minutes and see if that works and continue till you no longer want a drink or knackered enough to just want to go to bed and sleep

but you have to want it you know? you weren't so tired you couldn't think. tiredness makes you need sleep not wine. tiredness doesn't explain it really does it?

mouse yes, I would work with him again like a shot. he knows so much about management and stuff that i learn from him constantly. he is also one of the very few people on my wavelength sense of humour wise. Lost count of the number of meetings he has made me corpse in with just one word or sentence and everyone looked disparagingly at me giggling and being unprofessional, while he sat there deadpan.
Bastard!

it does sound like a plan. Thing is, its all very well saying if I get the urge I'll go on mumsnet/do pilates or whatever - last night I was just so tired I hadn't got the energy to think of anything. I need to plan a strategy ahead of time.

saf just reading your reply (thanks!) you're right, it wasn't just tiredness, I was stressed as well, needed comfort.

Earlier this week, people were saying what? only 4 tiny bottles of wine a week, thats hardly a problem.... but every so often there's a sudden uncontrolled binge - and I have found that the following day, my resistance is lower, so another binge soon follows...

and thanks mouse and venus - inspirational as always.

Ah Aldi, wish I had one nearer me but it's only 4 miles away so maybe worth a monthly trip to stock up the freezer. I used to work for their advertising agency and went to stores all over the country. I still have a lovely pair of leather gloves I got there years ago for £1.99!

End of day 3, haven't wanted a drink at all today and that's as much as I can hope for at this stage. Must come up with a list myself and only wish I had a dog to walk - the cat just doesn't cut it! Grey I think it's great that you've decided to get some help. I'm good too at giving up for a few days but what use is that? But I think for the first time there really is a glimmer of hope for me, I can appreciate how much better my life could be without this godawful compulsion to drink like a woman possessed.

A question ladies. I've been divorced around 6 years now and had a couple of intense doomed relationships since. ALL my relationships have been characterised by out-of-control drinking and I've never been with anyone whilst sober. I'm happily single now (well for most of the time) but I'd like to meet someone one day (hope I'm not too old at 54). I do feel however that I should focus on my sobriety first as I'm sure being in a relationship right now could trigger my drinking again. What do you think?

when you say little bottles do you mean like on airplanes? like a third of a bottle size? and you drank four of those a week?

if so that is under your alcohol allowance and shouldn't be of any harm to you whatsoever.

soma i would say if you are willing to put aside dating, other big issues etc in your life to clear way for getting sober then that's very wise but make sure you DO really focus on your sobriety on all levels to make the most of that space you've provided for it.

if you put things off AND you don't deal with the drinking is a bit lose, lose but if you do deal with this then i do believe it will put you in a much better place in terms of knowing what and who and how and what not etc etc you want and need in a relationship. and as someone who knows themselves really well, is honest and calm and all the rest of it you'll attract more of what you deserve rather than less than you deserve.

i may be waffling as it's late.

could not sleep last night - hoping not to have a second night of it.

saf yeah 4 mini bottles on a GOOD week. The harm is when there are normal sized bottles at other people's houses - and gin - and sherry

I share your sleep problems. That's one of the reasons I didn't go to bed early yesterday - nothing worse than lying there unable to sleep.

I got a geranium scented sleep spray from boots. It smells nice, but doesn't do anything for insomnia!

Not waffling at all Saf, makes good sense, thanks.

Sleep well if you can. Another insomniac here and it doesn't help that I'm plugged into my iPod half the night either! Nite nite all x

Morning all you Babes who aare awake early, hangover-free, and ready to make the most of the weekend.

I've got a cold and I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself, so some nice treats are in order -smoked salmon here I come

morning

bless you venus (apply this phrase whenever you sneeze from me).

so far the sky is blue here should get the dog out for a walk quick before it goes to pot. today i need to pack for ds for grandma's, pack for me for ireland, sort the house out so i won't die of shame over my dad coming in here to feed the cat and my sister to leave the dog when she's going to work. more washing and god forbid i might have to get the ironing board out

still trying not to stress about my newly protuding tummy - long vest tops under my tops is the stopgap answer. yesterday i wore this pretty tie up blouse i bought a while back - long vest under and i had to have the mid section of the blouse undone so i could breathe and put a little short cardi thing over the top with buttons strategically done up to cover the gape bit it's all belly and boobs with me when i put weight on, my legs stay slim so i stick with the skinny jeans and wear more layers and lengths on top and hope people look at my legs and not my tummy.

seriously though sober is good - sober is better than skinny if it's a choice. i'm hoping though that the eating stage can be curtailed soon.

why am i waffling about my tummy? think it's because i need to keep talking myself down from getting annorexic headed about it - can't afford to start starving myself and obsessing about my weight - need my focus to be on sobriety.

right - more coffee needed.

mouse, your back sounds completely horrific - poor, poor you! I work in healthcare (saying no more than that for now) and it does sound as if you have been thoroughly 'gone over' - however, I wouldn't let your GP dismiss what spinal or orthopaedic surgeons can do; nag for your appointment, and let the expert give you the choices. If surgery is a no-no, let THEM tell you that - at least you will know you have covered all options.

Soma I know just what you mean about dating. I have been single for 3 years, and have also had a couple of relationships since then. These fizzled out, because I actually almost preferred to be on my own, drinking. I've been thinking a lot during the last sober 8 days, and I know that I don't want to be alone for ever (although like you, I am quite content to be, most of the time). As I said ^upthread, I have to get rid of the alcohol to make time and space for investing in a new relationship, and more importantly, I have to learn to like and respect myself again before I can expect anyone else to do the same. Otherwise I will just sabotage it before it's even got off the ground. And no, you are NOT too old at 54! Who said relationships are for the young?! Plenty of mature men out there, you just have to know where to find them - Internet dating has worked for many of my friends.

Day 9 here - I'm boinging like a mad thing, and ready to carpe diem. Have a good one, everyone! x

Lovely vibe here this morning :) Would that be smoked salmon and scrambled eggs Venus? My favourite way to break fast ever. Hope it takes your mind off the cold.

Saf I guarantee no-one will be noticing your little tum, no-one. Especially if you have big bangers and great legs and the way you dress sounds lovely. I'm a 34FF up top which is the bane of my life so spend a lot on good bras (I think there was a discussion on this recently) but I like my legs so try to "showcase" them - not that I wear minis at my age - bleurgh!

Carrie day 9 is fantastic, I'm so pleased for you. And you've echoed my thoughts about dating exactly. Giving ourselves all the time we need to become the great sober women we were meant to be, before embarking on anything new. The idea of being in a relationship sober is so intriguing and would make such a change from the drama and insecurities that alcohol fuelled so well.

A very good morning to the Surrey Soaks and everyone else. Day 4 and taking baby steps, tomorrow going to parents where I usually end up drinking too much and then driving home over the limit :( so hope I can cope with it all. A bientot xx

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Carrie - thank you I did wonder if you were in that field after what you asked. My GP has referred me to the Surgical Spinal team so hopefully, I'll know more soon. My next appt with my Pain Consultant is 4th July which is NOT the 3 months that he promised in March.

I promise I'll be on his case morning, noon and night. Life in constant pain is no fun at all. Thank you for asking xx

Saf - Yup, 'tits and tum' too here. Although my diet is helping, not great for the middle of the Mouse, I look like a chain of sausages, all bulky and bulging in the wrong places.

I'm also finding that my IBS is not happy but that's because it was used to a drink, as was my body, so everything is changing again. I'm sure you will settle down once the craving settle.

Are you taking any supplements? You'd benefit from a complete vitamin (A to Z ones are great) just until you start to go mad for fish and fresh veggies again? Sorry if I've got that wrong and you already are eating healthily again.

Ma - is there any chance that you could go work with/for him? I can't remember why he left.........

Off to make breakfast, be back soon.

i rattle with supplements mouse. think the eating is a two fold thing - not drinking kicked in the sugar cravings but i also started a new medication that the psychiatrist prescribed to help with the anxiety, sleep issues and keeping hypomania at bay. side effect being weight gain. but again i'm trying to get past this whole thin matters more than anything mindset of mine because the tablets do really help actually and they were a part of the plan for giving up drinking because i was definitely using alcohol to self medicate the anxiety and borderline manic times.

i just want to be well and sober and that has to come first. the constant obsession with our bodies is so damaging really because for many of us the only way to achieve it is through perpetual or cyclical self harm really - starving is not good for us! it's not good for our mood, for our health or for anything other than fitting into some bloody clothes size we were at 16.

end of sermon - i'm lecturing myself really - i need to hear it!

yeah mouse I am hoping he is going to come back and help me to set up a Chamber of Commerce in the area, but he is too expensive as a consultant and CEO to employ on a regular basis, mores the pity. he's said whenever he's in a position to offer me a job he will, so we will just have to wait and see.
Should really get out somewhere today before it starts pissing down but just can't be bothered. however, know from experience that us all staying in together will lead to disaster so better think of something. I hate weekends :-(

Hello Babes

Just a fleeting visit as have come back from MIL's to feed the venerable Oscar, my elderly cat. Am feeling pretty good today, despite coming down with another cold.

Soma I agree about relationships, it sounds like a great idea. Good luck with your folks, my DM is a huge trigger.

saf I've also been obsessing, my particular thing is binge eating which won't help.

ma I hope this weekend gets better for you.

mouse that landlord sounds like an idiot. Good luck with finding a venue.

slotrightin hello lovely, how are you?

A big sloppy mwah to all the Babes I didn't name check. Sending you all sober thoughts for tonight, see you tomorrow xxx