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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To............... Amarillo?

999 replies

Mouseface · 27/04/2012 21:01

.............. sorry, ran out of ideas tonight! Grin

Hello, tis me, Mouse and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol, vodka in particular.

Welcome to the Battle Bus, full of totally Brave Babes all on their own personal journey to sobriety. Some are there, some are still on their way and some aren't quite ready yet but stay on the Bus for a good old natter Smile

Wherever you are in your quest to get back control of your drinking, we've all been there too so you're not alone, not by a long shot.

Come take a seat and say hello.

If you'd like to know the history behind this amazing journey, you can follow the links back HERE

See you soon Smile x

OP posts:
helpyourself · 04/05/2012 13:11

It's lovely to have you back mouse flippin lurgies are rife atm Envy (nauseousnotenvious)

swallowedAfly · 04/05/2012 13:15

going to stay with 'double' mouse and binge on aa meetings - have only been able to get to one or if i'm lucky two a week here because of childcare issues so the plan is to have 5 or 6 days child free, away from home responsibilities of any sort and just focus on the sobriety trip. sorry for the house of sick!

helpyourself · 04/05/2012 13:26

Am well jel, saf I think she's an old friend isn't she?

I love my AA friends, but I don't have anyone who knows me pre sobriety to go to meetings with. I wouldn't wish my journey in anyone but it must be great to have someone who knows you from before. Have a great time!

Hopefullyrecovering · 04/05/2012 13:31

Morning Babes!

It's a long weekend :) Ideally I'd like to spend it sleeping but am instead hauling my weary self over to Stratford. There will be meals (a trigger for drink) walks along the river, probably in the rain (another trigger) and catching up with old friends (triple triggers). I am glad to be Antabuse-protected, but there will soon come a time where I have to deal with these triggers without chemical assistance.

I think it's just a case of learning to be without. I hope, anyway.

Have a lovely long bank holiday weekend, Babes, whether in the bus, the sidecar or on the roofrack :)

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 04/05/2012 14:14

Hello lovely Babes

DMIL has called from the hospital, op went okay so she'll be home tonight. I'm going to be 'absent' from the bus until some time on Sunday, as we're going to stay over there for a couple of nights. I'm hanging on to my ticket though. :)

I have done a week sober - today is day 9. That's the first time I've reached day 9 in years.

Greyhound · 04/05/2012 14:41

Helpyourself realistically, I will probably drink tonight and over the weekend. Why? Well, tbh, because I want to. Come Monday, though, I hope I will be better disciplined. Hmm

I actually think it is time I went to the GP about my drinking. Other babes here seem to have found it helpful.

jesuswhatnext · 04/05/2012 14:43

BOING!! Grin

hello babes!! a very big Grin to helpyourself!! Grin

bproud - i know JUST how you feel right now! Sad we are off to stay with dd this weekend Grin i cannot tell you how much im missing her, she is now 3 hours away and it feels like australia right now, mind you, she has been calling everyday, i think she might just be a bit homesick, im just so glad she has her df, he is a lovely lad and we are very fond of him.

sorry havent been around much, just been super busy work wise/socially etc. havent even had time to do any shopping Hmm might just rectify that this weekend! Grin

jesuswhatnext · 04/05/2012 14:45

oh and btw - well done sunny!! Grin (and all the other babes of course, i just happened to notice sunnys last post)

venusandmars · 04/05/2012 15:04

helpyourself I think we've been name-checking you all morning and I haven't yet seen a scrap of gratitude Grin

hopefully one of the things I found surprising was how even my 'drinking buddies' would drink much less than I had, and they would easily manage social events with little or no alcohol. I'd spent years in a haze thinking that they all drank as much as I did. They didn't. Enjoy this time, and notice your own patterns, and those of others. It's good people-watching Smile

venusandmars · 04/05/2012 15:05

jesus my lovely, how nice to see you xx

venusandmars · 04/05/2012 15:11

grey I don't mean to be difficult, but if you want to drink today, then what is going to be different about next Monday? It didn't seem to be different last week Sad

You see, I think there MUST be something inside you that wants to do something about your drinking - you post on here (which is great), you're aware of what's going on in your life and how drinking affects you, so tell us (or more importantly tell yourself), what do you really want? Because I don't think that you want to spend your life the same way as you are now. I think something wants to change. So what is it?

venusandmars · 04/05/2012 15:14

mouse when dd2 was mid-teens, if I sent her to tidy her bedroom (so that the cleaner actually had some carpet to hoover) she would just chuck all her clothes from the floor into the wash basket. Even the clean ones just out of the wash that hadn't been put away yet. Not surprising that I never bothered to do any ironing Grin

Hey mouse, tell us about nemo's baptism? What's planned? That must be such a celebration for you given that you had times when you thought all the fight was lost. xx

venusandmars · 04/05/2012 15:15

OK I'll stop hogging the thread and get back to work. See you later.

Greyhound · 04/05/2012 16:02

Hi Venus - you're quite right and you're certainly not being difficult. I totally agree with all you say and know, of course, that you have been down this road yourself.

I find this thread incredibly helpful. I wish I had found it years ago, tbh.

However, I think that, in all honesty, that I am going to have to seek professional help for the drinking. One of the few benefits of having bipolar is that I am already in the mental health system. I have resources around me that can help if need be - a drop in centre, a CPN and, if necessary, a psychiatrist.

I am sure that the bipolar and the drinking are linked - they began at around the same time.

I don't think willpower is enough for me. I don't think I can do this without help. Giving up for a few days isn't good enough.

It could be that my pills need adjusting. Or, it could be that I need medical help with cravings etc.

Of course, there is no magic pill for addiction. One has to relearn one's way of thinking - I've had CBT in the past and heard that it can be useful for addictions as well.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 04/05/2012 16:06

Hi Grey I hope you get the help you need. I went to my GP last week and she's given me better AD's for my depression / anxiety, which has already helped.

SillyStrokeSensibleMum · 04/05/2012 16:10

Afternoon. Jeez the weather here has turned again. You haven't ebayed the ark yet, have you, Faire? It's so grey and drizzly and gloomy. Typical bank holiday weather. Oh well, could be worse, I could be hungover Grin

Sunny, nine days?! Wow! How are you feeling? Glad the op went well.

Alias, never mind, get back on the bus. Well done for resisting the FREE WINE though EnvyConfusedGrin

Mouse, poor you and the house of sick. Green is my favourite colour. Great choice for a kitchen. Oh I'm getting house envy again...

Hopefully, I guess the Antabuse will help you to learn how to live without alcohol and how to deal with the triggers. So when the time comes to stop taking the Antabuse the thought/practice of not drinking will be less daunting. I've thought about taking it myself, so please carry on telling us how you're getting on with it. Have a lovely weekend.

Saf, your trip sounds amazing. What a brilliant thing to do for yourself - a real investment towards your health and well-being. And of course everyone else around you will benefit too.

HelpYourself, I hope you are having a nice day Wink

Hello to everyone else. I keep thinking about wine but I mustn't. Busy day tomorrow and I don't want to waste it. Hope everyone else is OK.

venusandmars · 04/05/2012 16:11

grey I don't think willpower alone is enough for anyone. MIFLAW (an alcoholic who has been sober for 16 years, (and who sometimes watches over us all on this thread) had a great saying about willpower being about as much use in alcoholism as it was in trying to control diarrhorea Shock

But yes, you are right, about seeking professional help. You will see from recent posts that people have had great support from the appropariate professionals. Sadly it is not always like that, so if you approach your CPN and others and don't get the help you need and deserve then don't get desponent and give up. Come back here, and people will offer you ideas of how to approach them.

So why don't you call now, and make an appointment for Monday, see if you can get some help?

SillyStrokeSensibleMum · 04/05/2012 16:14

Hi Grey, sorry I knew I missed someone Blush. I guess some professional help might be useful. Are you going to get in touch with one of them? Would it help if we nagged you? :)

venusandmars · 04/05/2012 16:16

And I hope that faire's ark has thermal lined walls. It's f*ing freezing here (and expected to get colder) - I thought May was supposed to be heading towards summer Confused

Greyhound · 04/05/2012 16:21

Thanks Sunny Venus and Silly - oh, I'm definitely will stay on this thread! I'm so glad I found it :) It has already helped, just knowing that (unfortunately) I am not alone.

slotrightin · 04/05/2012 16:35

So glad I logged on this evening, was considering having a drink this evening, but when I read "Busy day tomorrow and I don't want to waste it" from SSSM, I changed my mind completely.

Like SSSM, I have too much to do tomorrow to waste it feeling like deep fried dog poo tomorrow:)

helpyourself · 04/05/2012 16:58

Grin I'm loving the namechecking!
venus is right about the willpower, it takes more will power to keep drinking when it hurts so much than to step out of the ring.

Greyhound · 04/05/2012 17:02

Lol at deep fried dog poo. That is how my last appalling hangover felt...

It was about six weeks ago. I met up with some friends, all of whom started drinking at 1 pm. I arrived at 7 pm and planned to stay sober. However, suffice to say I got wrecked and practically had to be carried home...

The next day was a beautiful, sunny spring day and I spent the entire time in bed, feeling like death :( Felt so guilty, I should have been playing with my son outside in the park :(

venusandmars · 04/05/2012 17:18

Hold on to that bad feeling grey

Now, being a complete optimist and positivist, I would not noramlly suggest that. But, it is so easy for us to wake up with a rotten hangover and say 'never again' and then 4 or 5 hours later to be craving the next drink. Or to have ONE sober day and then repeat the drinking on the following day.

We manage to forget how crap we felt, how horrid it was, how strong our convictions were.

Are you any good a art? draw what it felt like (at your worst). Don;t let it recede from your mind until you have a better choice for your life.

buddy123 · 04/05/2012 17:21

Hello All, sorry I've disappeared for a few days but been very busy. I'm afraid I had a minor blip on Wed eve and had a drink. However, I had 1 glass and then realised how crazy I was being to throw away all my hard work and I actually stopped drinking. So while I'm annoyed I gave in to the cravings, I'm pleased my common sense managed to take over in the end!

I'm off to the in laws this weekend. There is always lots of wine flowing when we're there which is panicking me slightly. But I don't think it does me good to look too far into the future, one day at a time.

Well done to all you babes who are doing so well and to those who have slipped off the bus, well done for finding your way back :)