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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To............... Amarillo?

999 replies

Mouseface · 27/04/2012 21:01

.............. sorry, ran out of ideas tonight! Grin

Hello, tis me, Mouse and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol, vodka in particular.

Welcome to the Battle Bus, full of totally Brave Babes all on their own personal journey to sobriety. Some are there, some are still on their way and some aren't quite ready yet but stay on the Bus for a good old natter Smile

Wherever you are in your quest to get back control of your drinking, we've all been there too so you're not alone, not by a long shot.

Come take a seat and say hello.

If you'd like to know the history behind this amazing journey, you can follow the links back HERE

See you soon Smile x

OP posts:
aliasjoey · 01/05/2012 14:11

hopefully yes thats exactly it, although obsessing would be more accurate than thinking

Also in situations when there is more available, I won't stop at 4 mini-bottles!

An evening at my sisters would be 3 strong g&ts followed by most of a bottle of white. That doesn't happen very often, but still...

aliasjoey · 01/05/2012 14:13

who am I kidding, it would be all of the bottle and onto the next.

Luckily, am only over there maybe every few weeks

oikopolis · 01/05/2012 16:24

bumping for another poster

Fairenuff · 01/05/2012 16:33

Haven't caught up with the thread yet but saw the bump . . . s'up?

SadSoma · 01/05/2012 16:37

I'm desperate, realise how much I rely on this thread - couldn't see it before and thought I was going mad. I'm drinking a bottle of wine so back to a bottle every other day (don't do it everyday because I'm hungover in between).

I've made an appointment to see the GP but am very very nervous because last time I got reported for potential drink-driving. I'd like antabuse because I believe it would work for me - knowing I'd be mighty ill if I drank would be a real deterrent. But I know how hard it is to get.

I think this is rock bottom but it feels comfortable. Does that make any sense?

SadSoma · 01/05/2012 16:39

Faire thanks for posting - I really couldn't find the thread and neither could Upsy! I just know I have to stop drinking but don't know how....

Fairenuff · 01/05/2012 16:42

Thanks oiko Smile

Hi Soma if you are drinking now can you do the drill?

Just finish your drink. Have a glass of water and clean your teeth.

Or grab a cuppa and come back and talk with us.

It just sounds like you are trying to cope with a lot at once, so let's just take it one thing at a time x

Hopefullyrecovering · 01/05/2012 16:43

Sadsoma We're here Babe, we're here.

Three steps

  1. Phone your GP and make an appointment NOW. Ask for Antabuse or if he/she won't prescribe it, ask for a referral to an addiction clinic.
  1. Throw the wine away. Just throw it away
  1. Stay here and talk - tell us what's triggered it today
SillyStrokeSensibleMum · 01/05/2012 16:51

Oh Soma, sorry you couldn't find us :( We're all here for you though now :)

Please just pour the wine away. You won't regret it, I promise. You will regret carrying on drinking though. Please don't drink any more today. You will feel so much better later if you don't carry on.

Stay talking to us.

venusandmars · 01/05/2012 16:51

upsy well done on chucking the gin away - I really think that doing things like that are an important signal to our subconscious. Even if you do later feel a tinge of regret, it is never as bad as how you would have felt the morning after you'd drunk it.

soma I had the same earlier today looking for the thread, I thought my eyes had gone funny. What is your situation now? Is there anything that you can do with the already open wine? Any possibility that you could get really, really furious and throw it out? After all it's cheating you of your life and your health, it deserves to go down the sink.

Is that the only bottle you have? or do you have access to more?

Keep talking to us.

Fairenuff · 01/05/2012 16:54

I have to pop out and pick up dd now but will be around later for a bit.

This is a tricky time of day for many of us, just finishing work, cranky children, cooking dinner, etc. Let's get through it together.

One day, hour, minute at a time x

SadSoma · 01/05/2012 17:05

Hopefully I can do 1 and 3 but 2 is beyond me. The desire I need for drink is so compelling I feel as if I'd die without it. I'm glad in a way that I can document it here. At least I can't deny I'm an alkie any longer :)

I am absolutely and utterly unable, in my present state, to stop drinking. I'll be able to stop after a bottle and a half but that's not great is it? Everything I've learned about alcoholism is true; it's a progressive disease and it can kill you in the end. All I know, is once I'm in the frame of mind to drink, I'll drink until I've had enough. I have only one bottle in the house so now I'll go and have a 250ml glass in the nearby pub even though DD and friend are here. I'll say I need to get some milk/eggs/whatever. I'm fucked aren't I? If I don't stop now (I'm 54) I'll be dead soon anyway.

Thanks for listening x

SadSoma · 01/05/2012 17:09

ps I wanted to ask, is anyone else on anti-depressants? My experience is that they increase my desire for a drink 10 fold but I'm scared not to take them because they help my underlying condition (anxiety) so much.

SillyStrokeSensibleMum · 01/05/2012 17:18

Sorry, I am in the middle of teatime with the DC, so can't write what I'd like or concentrate! Soma, you can stop drinking NOW if you want to. You don't pick up another glass. Forget about the bigger picture for now. Forget about drinking tomorrow etc. Just don't drink anymore today. You will feel SO much better if you stop drinking now.

Fairenuff · 01/05/2012 17:22

From what other babes have said about ADs Soma, they don't work so well with alcohol. So if you are drinking, you are not getting the full benefit of ADs. If you stop drinking, you give the ADs a chance to work properly and then you will start to feel much better.

Fairenuff · 01/05/2012 17:32

Btw for those who couldn't find the ark bus did this thread not appear in your 'Threads I'm On'? Confused

It's ironic really, after all that rushing around, measuring cubits and securing good wood and extra long nails, it's only gone and stopped raining Shock

Sun is out, puddles all dried up, spiders climbing back up drainpipes, etc.

Hmm, maybe I was wrong after all . . .

< wanders off to put half built ark on ebay >

venusandmars · 01/05/2012 17:33

OK soma I understand, it does sound like you're set for what is happening today. Is there any way that you could avoid the extra glass, or is your current mindset such that you feel you can't go without? (of course we know it's not true, and that you could go without, by I think all of us on here understand the point you have got to this evening Sad)

At what stage did you buy the wine - was it yesterday, this morning, on your way back from work? and so when did you actully make the decision that you were going to drink - on your way into the shop, planning your route to get there? These are probably questions for tomorrow, but I know that when I really, really decided to stop drinking, then I had to make a massive change to how and where I shopped (at least for a little while). So meals were planned and food was bought early in the day when my resolve was highest, JWN went to a halal shop where no alcohol was sold. I tried to avaoid going to the shops when I was tired, hungry or bored, and always with a list, and sometimes with just enough money to get what was on the list, nothing left over for alcohol.

Fairenuff · 01/05/2012 17:35

I used to send my dcs to the shop with a list because they couldn't buy alcohol.

SadSoma · 01/05/2012 17:39

venus my desire to drink came from nowhere - I was sitting having a coffee with a dear friend and I suddenly thought, I want to be off my head! I know it's hopeless and the only way out for me as antabuse. I really know it will work - I hate hangovers, and maybe it will give me the chance to be me without the booze.

Thank you again for being there - I'd feel so lost without you x

NonAstemia · 01/05/2012 18:04

{{{{{Soma}}}}} big hug lovey. Everyone's here for you.

I think it's pretty amazing that you felt so panicked when you couldn't find the bus - it shows how much things have changed for you in the last couple of weeks, doesn't it? If you just wanted to carry on getting hammered every other night then you wouldn't be desperate to talk to people about stopping, and have people support you through it. I reckon it's a good thing that you need this so much. Wink

Incidentally, if you click on the 'I'm On' tab it will show you the threads you're currently posting on.

Antabuse sounds like it might be the way to go for you. Is there a sympathetic GP at your practice?

NonAstemia · 01/05/2012 18:05
NonAstemia · 01/05/2012 18:10

Soma I'm on ADs - I take citalopram. I've been on 40mg od over the winter but have cut down to 20mg in the last week or so.

I'm not sure whether they increase my urge to drink... everything is a good reason for a few drinks to me. Feeling sad? Cheer up with wine. Feeling happy? Enjoy wine even more! Feeling angry? Squash that feeling with wine. Something to celebrate? Where's that wine! Hmm

'Tis always easy to find reasons to drink, ime.

SadSoma · 01/05/2012 18:11

Mia huge hugs in the midst of my non-sobriety.

I've been here before but at least now I don't feel alone. How are you tonight?

SadSoma · 01/05/2012 18:14

Venus everthing you say touches me - I'm not where you are yet but I so want to be :)

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