When life throws you potatoes, make chips! Be disappointed but never defeated! Dating thread No:13

[ChaoticAngel]

"you say potato, I say potatNO"

Down with potatoes

As you were....

hate There is NO way you could have known he would turn out to be a dickface. Not unless you actually own a working crystal ball.

Go on the dates if you want, but if not then take the weekend off from it all. Personally I find it quite draining being charming to strange men when you are sick of the sight of everything with a penis. I would suggest a night in/out with your girlfriends getting totally pissed slightly merry instead.

The guy from the commercial who I didn't fancy has texted me already. I knew this would happen. It is such a shame as well cos he is an awesome dude. WHY is sexy boy not falling at my feet instead. Oh wait, I know why, it's because I have no luck with men.

Life sucks sometimes.

Milk my friends are all busy having lives (most inconsiderate of them I feel) this weekend, so it's either a dodgy date or an evening on my own. I like my own company, but weekends when I have no plans end up being basically 48 hours without speaking to anyone, which gets a bit :( sometimes.

:( to re your man. I have no luck either. Men I fancy are invariably wrong for me. Men who are right for me either I don't fancy or on the rare occasion I do, they have no interest in me. Meh.

I seem to not be getting to see just friends this week. Awww, but that might change. Think I was a bit too full on, pouncing, lioness forwards. Yet we are still texting. I am not sure.

sponge - do a day time date, so you get out in the afternoon, but are home for the voice and a pizza :)

milk - would you not even join him for a quick drink, or is it a total no go?

I am very definitely not into self-help books, but I have a book that I read, re-read & read again & it has, in some ways changed my life (not in the sense of miracles happening, but just how I see things). It is called Feel The Fear & Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers.

If you are feeling down & blue it is a great book to read.

sponge I hate it when friends aren't free for helping you drown sorrows on a weekend.

Perhaps go on the dates, but don't expect anything from them? Just view it as a night out in company and nothing more? That's what I try to do. If you were in London I would go out drinking with you. We could get rowdy, and chuck things at men

watch Well he was only texting me about Casting Calls he had seen that I could apply for. Which SEEMS innocent but is totally what I would do if I fancied someone. In fact it IS what I plan to do when something comes up that I think hot guy should apply for shameless I would go out with him as friends, but nothing more. I need more friends in London, and it's all about networking and making contacts after all.

post I love, love, LOVE Feel the Fear & Do It Anyway. I wouldn't have moved to London if it wasn't for that book. I think it's brilliant.

Yeah, that's a good idea Sponge a daytime date then an evening in with chocolate, wine and Britain's Got Talent!! We know how to live!

milk - but he might actually be texting about casting calls.. and just being friendly. maybe?

Milk - are you going to text him back? Glad you found Feel The Fear good too. I'm always a bit nervous about admitting I read it, as I assume people will think I knit my own pubes in my spare time! but maybe that is just my warped perception of self help book readers

at knitting your own pubes! I read that book years ago, when I was searching for answers and help in moving forward. It's a like a fitness book, you can read it but you also have to do the work to get results. I lost my way a bit when with The Ex but I do now enjoy feeling the fear and doing it anyway

watch Yeah he probably is just being friendly. I just wish it was Mr Hot Guy being friendly. I'm clearly just greedy.

post Yeah I text him back. I'm going to friend request him on FB and I might friend request My Hot Guy as well. I don't have his surname though so that could be a bit stalkerish? He has an unusual name though so you literally just put it in, and he comes straight up. It's not like I've waded through a 1000 guys called Dave or something.

Fecking hell, I sound about 15 don't I? What has life reduced me too?

I think some self help books are good, and some are not. Feel the Fear is an excellent one though. The author also did the Feel the Fear guide to Everlasting Love which is pretty good. Although some of the advice would be difficult to follow for anyone who isn't an actual saint.

Hmmm, I'm not usually a self help book reader myself but that one sounds like something I could do with right now. Being unemployed and overweight doesn't do much for your self confidence.

Low battery. On train. V. Quick.

Sponge daytime dates. Yes. Good. Voice good pizza, wine, sofa good. Good!

Milk. Text him back. Go coffee. Might be a grower (if not a potato)

This thread is getting quite deep in the analysing relationships and cheating and what have you.

XH cheated on me - I found out. Tbh our relationship was going down the pan anyway but still hurt like hell. The OW knew he was married and had children. They are still together and although it is still doesn't feel the greatest thing in the world I am more settled into it now if that makes any sense. Actually had lunch with XH today as I was working where he works today and was hungry. Am realising that in some ways am pretty lucky we do have a generally amicable co-parenting and mostly friendly existence.

Will put things about Mr Nice into next post.

Chaotic join me in doing yoga and pilates, it's doing an amazing job on the shape! I never knew I could be so bendy! Low carb eating and the weight will fall off!

You sound pretty sorted Miranda, that's great

Time, it's funny but I've got a yogalates dvd that I bought years ago but only ever used twice. I may just dig it out. Wrt to healthy eating I've decided to ease myself in gently by making small changes and learning a few simple but healthy dishes. I'll worry more about low carbs later on once I've made the changes.

Had good evening with Mr Nice last night including some amount of snogging and what have you on the sofa . Definitely really like him and do fancy him a bit (quite a medium sized bit I think). And it's his birthday on Tuesday and he has the day off so were making plans to meet But - there's always a but isn't there?...

He texted earlier on in a not happy frame of mind as his ex now wants the dog back (have met dog and for a not dog person I think dog is rather nice) and also ex seems to have been weeping and wailing to him - he says wanting more money but sounds like she's saying she wants to come back possibly or something. They've been split up a few months although he says marriage been dead for longer. She has now moved a couple of hundred miles away.

Feel not quite up to doing any soothing troubled brows over his ex stuff - did a friendly sounding text but am now starting to wonder if there is likely to be rather more emotional need going on than I am looking to give IYSWIM. Am at a busy time of year for me with work and was slightly wondering if I could fit in another person to the busy ness.

Hmm. Will leave things in his court I think and see what happens (famous last words...)

Miranda, definitely more info on Mr Nice!

My ex-H cheated on me too. However, it was having children that shredded us. He couldn't cope with the change in lifestyle from non-stop party animals to parents. That topped with DS's autism just crucified us. He worked away Mon-Fri most weeks & sometimes for longer periods, so it didn't come as a huge surprise to discover he was having an affair. He is also still with the OW (9 years on) & they now have 2 small children of their own. I frequently chuckle when my DCs tell me about all the night time waking, poo & wee accidents & rows! We get on reasonably well though and I'm glad I'm not still with him, two DCs is more than enough to cope with!

This doesn't stop me looking at my phone wondering if there will be a text of course.....

And a text arrived (does this thread have some magical power? Or is Mr Nice actually on MN ).

I will wait for a bit and reply (text was rather more about me this time )

That's a bit of a turn off Miranda, I wouldn't want to have to listen to his woes of his ex either. He needs to deal with all this separate from you, it's not fair to offload and expect you to understand. I would be asking him if he has the time and emotional energy for a relationship or if he wanted some time out to deal with his problems. That would hopefully make him realise I wouldn't be hanging around while he made up his mind what he wanted.

Oh x posted Miranda. It seems a bit early in proceedings for him to be sharing his ex trauma stuff with you, particularly as there is bugger all you can do about it. It's always a fine line between offering a sympathetic ear & being the free counsellor!

Your ex couldn't cope Post but you had to cope. Imagine what would have happened if you had taken the same stance.