When life throws you potatoes, make chips! Be disappointed but never defeated! Dating thread No:13

[ChaoticAngel]

"you say potato, I say potatNO"

Down with potatoes

As you were....

Or maybe he said that he wanted FWB cos he thought that's what you wanted?

Time just wear a rollneck jumper on the date and you'll be fine

Don't be daft MLM My profile makes it clear what I want and don't want.

Sponge I've gone one further and had my boobs bound tightly in bandages. I've bought a beige roll from Boden and some matching suede loafers. I've had the grey put back in my hair and I've got a huge locket with all four of my kids in it. I know three are grown up and left home but I thought it best to mention them so it's clear I'm not just after a shag. I'm also taking some homemade cupcakes along with me, just to show what a domestic godess I am. Should I wear the "Three dates then I shag" badge too do you think??

'roll neck

Not 3 dates Time.

At least 5.

Then you know he's not just in it for sex.

Ooh, he wants a relationship but nothing heavy, walks, cinema, dinner.

He seems too good to be true!

Five!!! But I'm old Sponge, I might not have that long, do old women get exemptions?

Oh gosh yes, I just remembered, we haven't even to kiss on the first date have we? This must be where the handshake comes in. Is eye contact allowed or should that be saved for the third date?

Well I got 1 message today. Quite polite, not just one word.

Possibly a bit of a thicko from his profile. Lives in Scumsville. But I thought, I'll give him a try.

I replied rather wittily to his email which was about what football team I support (he'd got it wrong in his msg to me) and feigned shock that he could have associated me with the wrong team.

He replied with some very unpleasant casual racism. I won't repeat but it made me shudder.

Deleted and blocked.

Update people. Nothing to update. Bloody head teacher has gorne awol. That went nowhere. Why does everything go nowhere? Tis very depressing.

Time, sorry, that's cheap behaviour. You need a bun and no make up, stand out doors with him and you must mention , constantly, how your children are your pride and joy.

:)

And unless he likes walks on the beach and is middle class, then I'm Afriad its doomed.

Lucky escape sponge

Sorry time consider my hand slapped for even thinking such a thing. And yep, no kissing, cuddling, hugs, on a first date, just a slight hand shake. Second date you get a 5 second hug and third if very lucky you get a peck on the cheek. Don't forget to go dressed like a nun would. (hope that didn't offend anyone.)

Just noticed we're on 962...now 3 posts. Start thinking about thread titles.

Possible new thread title " No make up no bragging, no kissing, no shagging, no tumbling hair, be a maiden fair. And you definitely won't see him for dust!"

Great minds Chaotic

Sponge, what, your new Profile didnt instantly attract a better class of man.

Well, I'm.shocked.
It must be because you still look cheap.

It's your eyes, I'm sorry, they are too come hither. Get surgery.

:)

( What a wankbadger)

Today might be the day for promising messages, very nice. Slighly older ( 42) Indie musician ( slighly too far away) is making me laugh by email.

I've got the baby albums, should I take those with me? And when you sat stand outdoors, is it ok if we sit on the garden seat or will that give him the wrong idea about me? Should I carry a jumbo box of tampons with me? That should make it clear I'm not up for sex, surely??

MLM what if dressing like a Nun makes him think impure thoughts, what then??

Oh yes sponge you must get rid of those doe eyes of yours! And your cleavage. And keep your legs covered woman!! You will cause men to have impure thoughts!!

I'd go so far as to say these are worse than the usual.

I'd rather inappropriate sex talk than racism tbh.

Have now had a message from one who claims to be 38, looks 58. Profile says separated but no photo on it. Into outdoor fun

Hear that sound? It's the bottom of the barrel being scraped.

it's that new profile of yours Sponge. It's not attracting just any man after sex, it's attracting pensioners after sex!!

Get those lovely pics back on your profile. And change your name so you don't have any female stalkers

Sponge, do hope you report that back. Proves its not you at all.

Possibly bottom of the barrel. Racism is, well, Im just speechless.

Time, best thread title, let's use that, please!

Of course we have great minds Time, we're us Love the title btw

I've adjusted the wording on my profile slightly and I'm tempted to let it loose on here

sponge totally agree with you about the racism.

Arrrgh...something keeps beeping and I can't work out what it is...grrrr

It might attract the 'experts' watch. They might come over here for round 2

This teacher is lovely. At the moment.

It does prove it's not me doesn't it?!

It was a real thicko comment (not that racism is ever intelligent, but...) and in your second message to a girl you don't know. what an utter plank.

I think I need to send some messages. I need a generic opener. Any thoughts? I probably should just say Hi, thats all the effort most men make

How about "Hello" It's a bit different to the norm, would separate you from the rest and all that stuff

How about "Hi, just wanted to say I like your profile. If mine interests you and you would like to chat it would be nice to hear more about you. If not then I wish you good luck in your search"

Or something along those lines. Classy, polite, bubbly. Are we allowed to be those things?