When life throws you potatoes, make chips! Be disappointed but never defeated! Dating thread No:13

[ChaoticAngel]

"you say potato, I say potatNO"

Down with potatoes

As you were....

post - theres nothing to tell. not really. he was single, i was single. we met. Distance, his job and how he is. me and how i am... yeah, all put up complications. I am terrified of being hurt again, hes been hurt and only wants a sure thing. i cant offer him that. That went on for a year, round and round in circles. Talking daily, it just became this emotional thing. He dated someone, i got pissed off and told him i was dating. we fell out. We made up - repeat for about 6 months. We said we needed to sort it, arranged some dates, which he pulled out of last min. turns out he was moving in with his girlfriend of a few months. Massive argument, ww3. i blame him, he blames me. This was 9 months ish ago. Since then hes been trying to sort it out with me, ive said to leave it at friends. he wants more,but wont leave his girlfriend unless i comitt. I dont even want to see him.. and yeah. thats it basically.

last summer had he of said he was coming i would have been elated. I just felt dread. so i need to tell him, bluntly.

Watch I would simply tell him that you value and enjoy the friendship but if he continues to disregard your feelings and push the boundaries then you are going to have to have a rethink as to whether it's a friendship that can be allowed to continue. If he thinks as much of you as he says he does then he will respect your wishes, he won't want to lose you. And stop worrying about him and his feelings. YOU are the important one here.

Right, I'm off out for a walk and to top up my vitamin D levels whilst we have some sun!! Don't talk too much while I'm away, it's a lot to catch up on

I know i am. I dont think we can be friends. ive already said that, and to me , it feels very much like im just a reminder of what didnt happen and am possibly causing him to think it can be changed. But it cant. its done. its not his fault. or it is, but its as much mine, you know. I do worry about his feelings, because hes been a very very close friend. The cloest friend ive ever had actually. Which is a hard thing to sever i think.

have fun in the sun, im at work, its almost guaranteed that as soon as i finish it will rain...

watch - if you took all the anxiety about not wanting to get hurt out of it - would you want to be with him? Do you fancy him, do you think you could love him?

loves - he's got plenty of pictures up & although he is not a lean, mean fighting machine - he is not fat. I prefer my blokes well covered anyway. I think he thinks I'm too slim (which I'm not) to be into him - at least that is how it reads to me!

sounds like nothing to worry about then Post:)
although he might just keep on with the 'does my bum look big in this' :o

ah watch it's hard when someone wants what you don't. especially as you know once upon a time it would have been different. Guess it's all in the timing. I think you have to be cruel to be kind, you are entitled to feel as you do, yes it might upset him but what's the alternative? to be put in a position where you feel uncomfortable, that's like saying your feelings are less important than his. which is not the case at all - put yourself first. It's hard though, I hate that feeling of upsetting people even when they're not close friends. But you will feel better once it's said.

I have little faith in the soldier tbh. Despite what he said I'm still sceptical and will remain so until proven otherwise. And if he calls me unrequested again at that time I won't be speaking to him let alone seeing him! The one who was trying to come round to my house still wants to meet me at some point. Am undecided because he's in the police and they're as bad as soldiers. Have the feeling they are all simply looking for a quick shag, probably because (as a delightful Ex once told me) I have that sort of look about me. Meh.

Post - have you seen a pic of MrMusic from which you can assess his size? I had a date last yr with a guy who described himself as well built. All his photos were head & shoulders only, conveniently concealing a huge belly (I am not thin by any means, but the man looked 9 months pregnant. not for me at all). SO if you have only seen headshots, be wary....ask for a full length (& recent) photo

xpost re the photos!

I just had a really cute guy chatting to me in the library and cooing over my little one......so why did i not ask for his name or his number? I suppose i only like one person.......

watch i feel like you should just tell him, diplomatically of course, so that you bothy know where you stand. He cannot love you if he is with someone else, and you deserve more than that, but i think you already know that.

post - i did fancy him. i did adore him and hes still the most attractive/ beautiful man ive ever laid eyes on. But the feelings have gone. believe me, if i could get them back i would. On paper hes more than a catch.... very, very weathly, getting more and more well known as time goes on, very sucessful business, friends with famous people... and of course, hes been emotionally closer to me than anyone, ever. more so that my husband when i was married. But i cant change how i feel and i cant erase any of the time that has passed either. it is what it is, and its done. Im just trying to avoid hurting him.

sponge - oh, ive been told that all the time. apparently i look ' filthy' which is frankly ridiclous. Its just speil, i expect them think we want to hear stuff like that. Sounds like you have them sussed and id bank on the soldier calling you late at night again.

Watch - what a shame but if the feelings aren't there, then they aren't. I guess you'll just have to tell him the state of play.

lord - hows this for a potato - a potato that loves itself a bit much
www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=38744055

and he messaged me.... grim.

post - i know. i was just trying to avoid doing so. it would be far nicer just to leave things and be friends, you know. Especially since that is all it really has been all this time :(

LOL @ the selection of 'looks'..YMCA - esque :o
essexman has to be wind-up..surely??

you would hope so, wouldnt you. but i doubt it.

POF = Plenty Of Fugly retards :o

watch do what's right for you and be kind to yourself. You will both know where you stand then. (((((Hugs))))))

Why do men think they can call experimental, feisty women dirty? I mean so what there is nothing wrong with liking the outdoors for example not that I would know we understand it doesn't make is dirty unless we end up falling in mud

FFS...I've just had a messge on POF that says 'Hi.' and that's it

I didn't even bother to look at his profile.

I'm going shopping, don't chat too much

I used to get told that to the untrained eye I look like butter wouldn't melt but to the more astute male they can tell I'm looking for romance and excitment . It was in my younger days, now I just looked s---ged out.

dont think i've ever met an astute male Adams:o

mlm, labelling women is a way of containing and controlling female sexuality
tell em to fu(k the fu(k off :o

I get asked if I am "naughty" I reply nope my angel halo is still intact and shiny. we all know that's a lie I think men get put off by confident women, they are worried they won't keep up with us.

I'm back. It's gorgeous out there! Almost as gorgeous as that profile watch . Now, he is a keeper!!

I got told in the space of a few days that I look like Kay Burley and Jane MacDonald 'oft tele.' Oh how I long to be told I look filthy!

I think men are very attracted to confident women initially. It's confidence in a relationship they don't like, brings out all their insecurities

Time, you most certainly do not. (I don't know who Kay Burley is)

Loves, I came across loads of 'astute' men, the butter wouldn't melt act was obviously transparent.

Thank you adams. This is Kay Burley, she was on TV recently talking about her face lift!