Things you'd like to say to your ex

[dictionarydiva]

Hello one and all

I am a bit new here but I'm really enjoying the site. This is my first topic, so be gentle with me

I have searched and can't find a thread like this, so I am starting it. I know we have the red flags, but this is more about all the things bursting to come out of you!

So... my question is, if you ran into your absolute tool of an ex that you don't normally have contact with, unexpectedly, what would you REALLY like to say to them?

Mine would be this:

"You are a short man with very few hairs on his head. It is no longer 1996. You are not in This Life. Get some normal middle aged man glasses and some dignity. Oh, and move back to where you jolly well came from!"

come on, unleash it!

P.S this was inspired by running in to my ridiculous ex boyfriend on the train this morning. In reality, I was very polite.

Ex - I sincerely hope you finally have your lifes dream - getting married.

You trying to convince me that marriage was the best thing to do within 2 months of us being together definitely caused me to end it (although I didn't tell you at the time).

Its all you ever wanted so I hope you finally have it.

No ambivalence here :)

Sarahlund, what a very moving post...I hope letting it out has helped a little? :)

I hear your wife has left you.......Can't say I'm surprised.

Dear Twat,

A real man knows the meaning of work for more than 6 months in a 7 yr period, neither do they masterbate into a duvet, nick the older neighbour womens knickers from her home, or live at home until he age of 33.
Thankyou for conning me out of my long sought out suitable home that I worked hard to get a mortagage for, you lazy fucking bastard!!
It must be good to have such generous adoptive parents to help you out, when some of us have to work for a living and support ourselves!
Thank god i found an unselfish supportive REAL MAN to marry and have a family with. Enjoy your pathetic life. Idiot!
That was so cathartic :)

It was a bit like watching a car crash when you came round the other day, tbh.
I did think "what on earth are you doing?"

You might think that you look good, but you're too skinny now, and shock horror I DIDN'T FANCY YOU...!! ....you're slightly mahogany (Sunbed?? Or spray tan by your new dolly bird?)

You are not Johnny Knoxville, you great big manchild!

It's taken me ten years to realise how you operate. You choose some unsuspecting, usually much younger woman, and go full on with them - lift them out of the mundanity of their crappy lives and oh, how wonderful it was in the beginning. Nothing could touch us. Pure magic.
Problem is, it's not real and it's spoilt me for anyone else that may be more normal, stable, less narcissistic and ego-centric.
Leaving you was one of the hardest things I ever did because you were my family, my life, my angel. I honestly thought my DM had sent you to me.
But once the honeymoon was over, you became distant. You never had any intention of committing to me. You said you were suicidal and I was the love of your life when I left - so why did you not want a proper partnership?
Lies, lies, lies.
Even after a subsequent failed relationship and a beautiful DD I still haven't dealt with the feelings properly. How fucked up is that?!
And now, cos I let you get under my skin again and responded to your texts, I hear that you think I might want you back??

What actual fucking planet are you on?

Go get at least 10 years of counselling and deal with your self-esteem and emotional abuse issues. Or better still, have a total personality transplant.
Then I might think about it.

You're 40. Don't you think you should be trying to sort your head out by now? You've caused a lot of people a lot of pain.

And trust me, lay off the false tan.

Pretty doesn't need to talk
And I hated you for riding on the back of my success.

*Franziska Fri 27-Apr-12 17:52:04

Lot of anger and bitterness in this thread - aren't these some of the red flags we warn against?*

I'm a little angry and bitter about the man who raped me, yeah.

Dear P,
This is complicated. We met as teenagers, and our relationship was one of the most intense experiences of my life. I'm ashamed to say that, despite being married to someone else, I've never completely got over it. When you got back in touch, wanting to be friends, I was sceptical, but 20 years later I'm glad that I did. You're a great guy, one of my oldest and best friends. Your wife is lovely and so are your children. If I'd gone by my first instinct, I'd have missed out on so much. And most of the time the pain is worth it.
BUT - through reading threads on here, I've come to realise that, when we were together, it bore all the hallmarks of an emotionally abusive relationship, with you trying to control everything that I did, separate me from my friends, set impossible standards for me to meet and punish me by sulking/withdrawing when I couldn't comply. I know your wife very well and can see that things really, truly aren't like that in your relationship. She isn't hiding anything. She is a confident, self-assured, independent and capable woman, everything that I wasn't when I was 18. I've had abusive relationships since then, too. And it makes me wonder whether it was something about me.

I would say "thank you" purely for showing me every reason why I shouldn't be with him! Everyone on here with the massive rants obviously are still emotionally involved with their ex!

Here's the number for a sterilisation clinic.
Would be a bit much congratulating him on getting his latest girlfriend pregnant already. That poor baby will be at least number 4 all by different mothers. He doesn't see or ask after any of his children or pay maintenance or even ask after them. Knob.

"Who is going to pay your share of the mortgage when you are at home looking after the children?" Bahahahahaha

You are a bitter, cynical, twisted misogynist prick

You're a victim

You call people "fatarse"

You tell racist stories introduced with "I'm not racist, but.."

You see the possible worst in people

You discourage people's dreams

You are tight with your money and with your heart.

And no, it's not ok to lie about your age, your job, your previous relationships.

To both my SBXh and my Fiance before him...

"You know what I did meet someone else, and I am happy, I did not need to put up with your emotional/physical abuse that you claimed was love. You were a shit and it was not my fault."

Dear Ex,

I should have listened more closely to those mean insults you threw at me. After all, you weren't telling me about me. You were telling me exactly how you felt about you. And you were right. You are all sorts of nasty.

Good riddance!

That I hope you know how many lives you ruined with what you did. That I'll spend my life wondering how I never noticed you indecently assaulting your 8 year old niece when we lived together. That my guilt that I was too wrapped up in getting over you sleeping with my best friend meant I missed the signs you were a monster will never leave me. How I wish I'd put a knife in your back. Three years in prison is not enough. I wish you were dead you bastard.

TheQuietLad and Bumble - it annoys me that I'm still angry with my ex for the way he treated me, even though I am truly happy with my DH and DS and it's been 7 years since I split up with him. I don't think about him at all normally (although him popping into my dreams, usually being a knob, really does wind me up!).

I think it stems from the fact that I didn't get to say all this at the time and so I've not been able to let it out. I know it's probably silly but I can't help my brain!

Or, in my case, we have a child together, who is only 7, and he's had criminal behaviour been a dick for this past year since we separated.
Plus, I have refrained from telling him some things I'd love to.

I think I'd say:

• I think the sex I had with you was the best sex I ever had. It was truly amazing, I have never known sexual chemistry like it. Thank you.
• You had serious anger management issues. I am really really pleased that I didn't agree to marry you.
• I hope you sort yourself out and find the woman of your dreams. You've had a tough life and you deserve happiness.
• Thank you for all the amazing times, but I'm really glad that we didn't end up together.

Dear Cuntface.

Remember that 6 month period where I woke up several times a week having had absolutely awful dreams of being raped? Remember how I was upset and confused and became anxious to go to sleep?
Thanks for not telling me you were slipping me strong painkillers, waiting until I fell asleep, then undressing and abusing me while I slept. And thankyou for continuing to do so even after you found out that this was polluting my dreams.

The only way you could get your hands on a woman - wait until she was unconscious. You laughably sad fuck.

Thank you for doing all the tumble drying for the last few weeks while my tumble was broken, I will drop your cat food round later

There's nothing I'd like to say to my ex. I don't need anything from him, and anyway he wouldn't hear anything I say to him now, any more than he did when we were together.

Ex from 20-odd years ago:

You are a controlling prick who smells.

You don't wear 'classic' clothes, you look like an overfed tramp.
Role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons are not really suitable for men in their 40's.
You don't look like either Axl Rose or Keifer Sutherland, get your eyes tested.
Christmas Day is not the ideal time to dump someone, particularly after you'd got your gift and I am not at all sorry that I decked you for it

Do you miss me at all? Do you ever think about me? You were such a big part of my world and it took so much to walk away and yet I meant so little to you.

Changey

I'd say (and I may well have the opportunity really soon):

YOu know what? It's not a crime to fall out of love with someone and it's not even a BAD thing to want out of marriage.

But - you really do have to do something about your propensity to use every sort of deceit there is. And does the OW know you have asked me to stay in touch with you because you still love me?